Compulsive Masturbation

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I don't have an official diagnosis but myself and my doctor have suspected that I have some anxiety issue going on, and after reading Mind over Mood I have concluded that I most likely have obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm in the midst of getting a formal diagnosis, but I was just curious if anyone has had this same compulsion as me: Masturbation.

Since I was 2, before I even knew what I was doing I would constantly masturbate in public. I would rub against couch cushions, chairs, tables, etc at home and preschool. My sisters never asked me what I was doing and my parents didn't even notice until they continually got calls from my teachers from kindergarten until grade six. I got talks about it constantly, but the more calls they got the more angry they became with me. I was honestly terrified and mortified despite not knowing what it was but I had absolute no control over it and as hard as I tried I couldn't stop. They even took me to a special doctor but I was so young I don't even remember what they said to my mom (and frankly ill probably never know, too embarrassed to ask her). To this day I still constantly do it, but I stopped publicly after learning what masturbation was exactly and was humiliated that I was doing that in front of everyone and my whole family

Now the reason why I think its a compulsion is because 95% of the time when I do masturbate I'm not aroused. I even get annoyed with myself and try to stop and work on other things but it's like I'm being forced to. After learning more about anxiety I have come to realize that maybe Im doing it as a coping mechanism for stress. Because whenever I feel overwhelmed with grad school applications and studying it triggers it. And if Im writing an exam that it extremely hard it will trigger as well, but the embarrassment of doing that in public at 21 prevents me. thank god.

So if anyone has a similar experience pleeeeeeease let me know. And please don't make fun of me because this is the first time in my life I have ever spoken about it

WOW...I think we are in extremely similar situations and can help each other out. Like you I've had a compulsive masturbation habit since before I can even remember, probably around 2 or 3, and grew up with a lot of feelings of shame and guilt attached to it even though I wasn't even aware of what I was doing. I was diagnosed with moderate OCD as a kid. The doctor I saw didn't seem to see the masturbation habit as a priority to take care of because he didn't want me to feel shameful about masturbation. He basically just told me it was a totally natural thing and it wasn't a big deal that I did it. I don't think he recognized that masturbation was something I had no control over--it is an automatic stress-coping mechanism for me as well. I am now a 21 y.o. college senior and between schoolwork and job hunting, my stress is at an all-time high. I know the feeling you are describing about being forced to do it; I can't sit down to do basically anything without feeling like I need to masturbate. It makes me feel drained, empty of emotions and unmotivated. This problem has definitely taken a toll on my schoolwork in the past, and it's not going to get any easier post-college. So I am trying to reach out for some help. I was very relieved to see your post because I know I am not alone in this! Please get in touch if you want to talk more.