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Recently it has come to the attention of my wife and I that my ex wife and mother of my son is faking her pregnancy. I am very concerned about the state of her mental stability and in turn the well being of my son. She has a history of compulsively lying, faking illnesses and even lying about the health of my son (for example, she claimed he had rsv after I told her my then 3 month old had it and that he needed to go to the hospital but she had to work. I showed up to take him and he was completely fine. I still took him to the hospital and upon bringing her the paperwork saying he was perfectly healthy she said it had to be wrong). She also has a habit of saying that if you have an ailment she automatically has it too (for example, I have sciatica that I will need surgery to correct and when I told her this she suddenly had sciatica too/ when we announced my wife was pregnant last march she immediately said that she might be too). She also says that she has all these medical problems that she has dealt with her entire life which magically were never present the 3 years we were married.
This is what has happened with her "pregnancy" up to this point:
They told us in late may that they were pregnant but even then things seemed off and naturally we questioned it considering her past. For one, they didn't just openly tell us, they just kept talking about baby stuff so I asked if she was and she nodded and said they were estimating 6 weeks but they were going to give her an ultrasound to make sure. And for awhile that was it. She said she was supposed to get an ultrasound at the end of June which made no sense because if they were doing an ultrasound to determine how far are is they wouldn't wait another 4 weeks to do it. Everything just seemed so shady. Then recently, the past month especially, has been a mess.
She told us on the 5th of July (after never getting her ultrasound for some reason) that she started bleeding and that they went to the hospital. This is the only time her husband was with her when she saw a doctor. Her husband told us that the doctors said she wasn't pregnant but she (lets say her name is Ann) corrected him and said that her levels "weren't where they wanted them to be" and she was supposed to see her gynocologist. At this point she is supposed up be 14 weeks. I asked if they did an ultrasound because if you're bleeding and you're pregnant and you go to the er they are most likely going to but of course her answer was no. So I asked if they heard the heartbeat and she said the doctor listened with a stethoscope which I've never even heard of in those sort of circumstances (not to mention cant be done successfully until further in a pregnancy) but at that point in time they should be able to find it with a Doppler with no issue. I asked her when the last time she saw get doctor was and she said she hadn't seen him since they first found out. I know that they see you every 4 weeks once you test positive until your third trimester and it had been 8 weeks with no visit? Didn't add up. Since then she had to quit her job because she was on "bed rest."
But anyways my wife texted her a couple days later to check on her and see what her doctor said and she claimed saw him and she heard the heart beat but she was thinking about switching doctors and going back to who she had when she was pregnant with my son. Around this time we got a text from one of her cousins. Apparently we aren't the only ones with doubts. He had called her doctor posing as get husband (which I don't approve of but still) and asked when her last appointment was and it was *drumroll please* October 2nd, 2014. And he recorded it and sent it to us.
Her cousin had a third party tell her husband. And he got all defensive and refused to believe it. They (Ann and her husband) told us all about it the next time we were picking up my son and showed us the text messages. We played dumb to avoid conflict.
But Ann says she had already switched doctors and is already seeing her old one again. This seemed odd to me because my wife switched doctors when she was pregnant and I know it takes a few weeks up transfer your files. So I asked her how she got in so quickly. She said it's because she didn't transfer all of her files over and that she left some in both places "just in case." Well that's not how it works. You sign a release and they fax the files to the doctor and keep the hard copies for their records and you can't just pick and choose what is sent and what's not.
And then when we picked up my son for my next visit they were talking about how they went to the fair, where she rode all the spinning and shaking rides while she's still supposed to be on bed rest mind you and after she claimed that she couldn't hold anything down all day. She told us she is being seen every other week now and that her ultrasound is at the end of the week (8 weeks after she was supposed to have it). Well we get another recording from her cousin, not a single upcoming appointment scheduled. We were also sent sceenshots of everything that was said between Ann's husband and the third party in which he openly admits that she hadn't been to her supposed original doctor since October.
When we brought back my son my wife asked her if she was still having her ultrasound which was supposed to be the next day at this point and she said yes. We showed her the screenshots we got and she now claims shes been going back and forth between the two doctors the entire time. These doctors do not work in the same hospital or even the same state and have nothing to do with each other and that's just not how prenatal care works and she avoids actually addressing the situation.
The next day my wife texted her asking how the ultrasound went. 24 hours later we get an ultrasound picture from her husband claiming its a boy. We found it odd that the picture he sent had all the patient info cropped out and after minimal digging found the exact same ultrasound complete with the original patients name on google.
It is unclear weather her husband is in on it or not.
We plan on confronting the issue head on this evening. PLEASE HELP.
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Sorry to ask as I may have missed it if you included it, but how old is your son.
I have lots of experience with munchers, not a lot of answers but lots of experience, but right now I am a little concerned about your boy.
How old and how long since the divorce. How long has she been the significant influence on him ??
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Dx: ADHD-PI, GAD, BPD Traits
Px: Adderall XR, Zoloft, Klonopin PRN
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