Managing a Person with Munchausen Syndrome

Hi all,

I suppose I just want to share what we're going through, but any ideas would be helpful.
My husband and I took on his very elderly mother some time ago. She lives upstairs in a self contained studio apartment. We see to all her needs and I cook her a healthy meal every night. She gets her own breakfast and lunch. We have known for a long time that she fabricates illnesses and during the 22 months she has been with us she has had every medical test and examination known to mankind. All these tests have been negative and all the specialists keep telling her she is in the best of health. This doesn't stop her from insisting she is seriously ill, however, and she is always insisting on more tests.

This is annoying but the real trouble we are experiencing now is that she is telling people she meets, (members of local community groups that she calls up to come visit her), terrible lies about the care we give her. She tells them we pressure her into not eating breakfast, that we keep her imprisoned upstairs and never take her out, and that she is seriously ill and being denied medical attention.
We can easily disprove all these lies if and when we are confronted with them, but we are concerned that rumours are now leaking out into our small community that my husband and I are monsters.

It's no use remonstrating with her because she just lies that she has said such things, even when we tell her we overheard every word. And when we tell her that some people have told us her lies, she says they are lying. You get nowhere with her, she just gets angry, denies everything, and within a day or two she is telling new people she meets the same lies.

To our faces she is sweet and charming and I know she loves us. But she will use any means whatsoever to get attention and have people pity her.

What do we do? I just don't know. I love her and want her to be happy here and I am resolved to care for her as long as I can, but it’s getting harder and harder to be patient with her.

this must be very hard for you - it sounds like you do a great job caring for her. I would recommend looking after yourself also - I have not been in a similar situation but I suspect you turning to this forum means you are having a difficult time with it. Remember although it may not seem fair - you can seek some therapy as a way of help and supporting yourself - if she will or cannot...I wish you the best of luck.

am going through the same thing with a brother who has this and finding help is not easy,thank goodness this lady isn't like him and isn't on facebook speading lies .
I am a caregiver for my mum and it is hard at the best of times but dealing with another family member with illness that want undevided attention is a nightmare my thoughts are with you .