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Getting to grips with being a MBPS survivor.

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Getting to grips with being a MBPS survivor.

Postby Archer123 » Sun Oct 18, 2015 12:48 pm

Hi, I am new to the board and found it while researching MBP. I'd like to tell my story as it has all come to ahead of late. I have touched on this briefly as a reply to another member.

My early years were the worst for my mother's behaviour. I am a twin and according to my Mother (I really cannot trust a lot of what she says) was a small, weak child with many health complications. She claims I had meningitis as a newborn but I have never found evidence for this. She used to tell anyone who would listen what a sickly, unhealthy baby I was. Revelling almost in how hard it was to raise me alongside my twin and my older brother, who were according to her, model children.

My earliest memories are when my mother was convinced I had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. I would have been 4 I think. It's true that I was always bruised or suffering minor injuries but I was an active kid, always running about outside or climbing trees so I did get bumped a lot. The doctors didn't agree and I was dragged around dozens of doctors until she found a specialist who made me wear all sorts of contraptions, put me into odd metal machines (I was young and dont recall a lot of what these were). I had to wear shin guards, shoulder guards and head protectors for years. Making me look like a freak to bemused school mates.

She also tried to convince me, doctors and anyone else that I had severe food allergies but there didn't seem to be any consistency with this and after the doctors turned her away she found a private crank who charged a fortune to put me through hundreds of painful tests and had me on all sorts of foul medications. Each visit I would come back with more snake oil and a revised list of my "allergies". Eventually I was, at her insistence, placed on what she called a "stone age diet". Basically I was only permitted to eat white fish, white rice and bannanas (!!!!). She even convinced people I was allergic to WATER!! All the time making out what a hero she was for "coping" with my "problems"

Needless to say I was not in school a lot and I was moved form school to school frequently if a teacher tried to intervene or disagreed with her. I was very alienated as even when I was at school my mother had forbidden them to let me play contact sports, so no football or any team sports. The sort of thing that helps you make friends.

Ironically, if i ever did have a legitimate illness she told me to "stop faking" and get myself together. Usually accompnied by a slap with a wooden spoon to get me up and running.

Eventually she had me admitted to a special unit within a school and I was kept seperate from other kids for 3 years. When I was 11 I started to fight back against all this. I confided in a teacher who followed it up. Within a month I was removed form the school and sent to a fee paying boarding school where they had to listen to my mother as she was paying. She still controlled me from a distance, making and sending in pre-prepared meals and ensuring I wasnt to take part in school sports.
Eventually I rebelled and refused to eat these meals, I didn't eat for a week until the teachers caved and let me eat school diners.
My Mother gradually lost control of me as i grew up but she then moved onto temporarily fostering children with "special needs" and child-minding. All these kids, according to her, had some kind of special requirements, behavioural problems or physical problems that she would magically take in hand and get under control. She revelled in this yet again.

My mother passed away last year from cancer that she refused treatment for. We all know she must have known she had it because she was a registered nurse for decades. Soon after, my Father passed away, also from cancer. He was an alcoholic and i had lost contact for years but I re-established contact so I could salvage some relationship with him in his last months. Unfortunately by older Brother died last December of a sudden heart attack. All this has made me want to try and come to terms with my childhood and the problems it causes me now.

I am obsessed with working out and being healthy, leading a physical life (I work in stunts, something my mother was horrified by) and I have relationship problems because I cannot easily accept people caring for me or even being nice to me, It makes me feel mollycoddled and revolts me.

I don't know why I have written in such length about it now, I never have before. I have rarely voiced these thoughts or feelings in my whole life and now I am 38 I can't see me doing much of it. It all just makes me so, so sad.
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