Someone recognized these symptoms?

Hello

I'm from the Netherlands and i'm not so good in the English language, but I'll do my best.

I asked myself these question for a long time, tried to get answer on it from Dutch fora many times, but no one did recognize these symptoms. Why it is that important for me? Because experts thought for more than A decade I was autistic and mentally disabled, they believed I would never finish school, get a job and will live independent. Finally I could do all of these A now i'm studing with success.
But still I do have so many vague things, something which indicates that there is something odd about my data processing and what is so heavy frustrated is that I can not explain it. also can't discover any disorder that might explain it.

The strangest thing I have is that when I close my eyes or find myself in a dark room, I see compilations of images or movies. The images are restructured, by that I mean: that it be images I've ever seen, but as same like A dream the pictures are made new.

Next to this, I thin quickly, it happen for just a cold. What happen also many times is that i'm sleeping but extually not sleeping. I close my eyes, but I am aware that I am lying in my bed, even in what position I'm in bed and I can even turn around. But I dream a stagnant dream, rather a kind of delusion. I have for instance fix something or go exploring, but it's often something totally illogical and impossible. It is not lucid dreaming, it is more like a lucid dream backwards, not awake in A dream more like sleeping in reality and can't think logical because i'm dreaming. It also insnt sleep paralize, because I can move.

What I also have are just moments of derealization, but just moments until A whole day, but not longer than that.

The last thing is the biggest thing but easy to explane: I have all the symptoms of visual thinking, the only thing that makes it weird is that the problems that are discriped to childeren that visual thinking are still my problems too, It did never grown away. Things like: think I did something I have not done jet, do something without thinking and are not aware that I have not thought about it and Illogical associations that let me to do or think other than there is written or is said.

Sorry for the long post, I had A lot to tell.

You mention derealization; how about depersonalization?

Also it sounds like you experience intrusive visual images. Is that right?

Hello. I believe it is a level of sleep. An early stage of sleep. I believe I have awareness of this level too but not everyone does.