Bipolar Spouse. Need advice.

I know I could search these boards for similar issues, but for some reason, it just feels better to type my request in my own words. I am living with my wife, who I love very much. However, her signs and symptoms of what I believe may be bipolarism get worse almost by the day. I am led to believe it is bipolar disorder starting with the fact her father is diagnosed bipolar and has been on and off meds for many years. In fact, her childhood was effected and she still hates him for his not being there for her when she was a kid.

My wife has very frequent bouts of anger and fights with every single one of her loved ones, including me. In 12 years of being together and 8 years of marriage, I am continually accused of infidelity, even though I have never done anything to justify the accusations. Self created hypothetical scenarios in which I can not reasonably be repaired to defend happen frequently. And it isn't just this topic. Sudden and extreme anger is a daily occurrence and comes without warning. I am certainly not without fault, but my patience is growing very thin.

Here's the issue. Any reference to her father only creates more anger. There is no way I can suggest to her that she may have her father's disorder. What can I do? Our marriage is likely in jeopardy, which is the last thing I want. When she is happy, she is the best. But when she is angry, she is very insulting and vile. There is so much I want to say and so many examples i can give, but I think my point is understood.

I guess I'm just looking for advise. Thanks.

There are three main types of Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar 1 is characterized by periods of intense depression that may be debilitating, alterating with periods of mania in which there is pressuire of speech, and flights of ideas, in which the person may appear to be incoherent due to speeded up thought processes. They will have intense bouts of energy during these times, requiring very little sleep. They may also initiate many unfinished projects. They may also have delusions of grandeur, and have no insight into impulsive behaviour such as spending. They may also have psychotic thoughts and beliefs, and hallucinations during the periods of depression and also mania. They are very obviously ill even to an untrained observer. In between these episodes, there may be periods of relative normality.

Bipolar 2 is less severe, with periods of depression alternating with periods of hypomania, in which the person will appear to be very cheerful, require very little sleep, and act impulsively. They will show signs of speeded up thought processes, and this will be apparent by their speech patterns. They may also show signs of irritability. Unlike Bipolar 1, there is no psychosis present, and they may be able to function relatively normally during the periods of hypomania, although the depression can be quite debilitating.

Cyclothmia is a less severe type of Bipolar Disorder, with a more mild to moderate depression and a less severe hypomania, and the person will be able to function relatively well.

It is possible to have what is known as a Mixed Episode, in which the symptoms of depression are complicated by the agitation, extreme energy, flight of ideas and pressure of thought that are usually present during the manic stages.

It is believed that there is a genetic component to Bipolar Disorder.

There may be many reasons for your wife's anger. It could be a symptom of Bipolar Disorder, especially if it is present with the other symptoms mentioned above, or it could be related to the emotional and psychological effects of living with her father. There could even be a hormonal or other unrelated cause. No one here on the forum can offer any kind of a diagnosis as only a professional has the expertise to evaluate your wife.

It sounds as if this is really affecting you, and that you would benefit from support in your own right. A therapist can help you to process all the emotions that have arisen within you as a result of your wife's anger, and may even be able to suggest possible sources of help for her.

Perhaps, when she is in a calm frame of mind, you could tell her how much this is affecting you, and try to persuade her to get some help? If you become seriously concerned about her mental state, then you would need to inform the emergency services.