non-verbal learning disorder?

Maybe I'm just stupid and trying to come up with things to justify not being stupid. I don't know. This newest bout of thinking I have it was started off by my bf noticing that it's like I can't make cognitive leaps. Like: I know that two days a week, he has to drive his son to school early. I know this. It's stored in my memory. He posts on FB about being up at dawn, driving. I can't put 2 and 2 together and realize WHY he was driving at dawn. I can't put things together like that. I also need things to be the same. I don't deal well with change at ALL. My outfits need to be similar. I hate changing round my room or an apartment or anything else--I hated at the dorm when my roommates would change the living room furniture round, it made everything different. I get on "kicks" where I HAVE to have the same food every day. Lately, for about a month now, it's been spaghetti...and there have been very few days I haven't had spaghetti. I do the same with songs. I can listen to the same song 100 times in a day. It's just like...things have to be the same.

I did an IQ test last summer and there was an over 30-point difference between verbal IQ and performance IQ, but the guy who tested me said it was normal, just because my performance IQ was still barely in the average range. It's over 30 points different, surely that's a little odd?

And...well, I'll just go off the symptoms I found on the internets.

Great vocabulary and verbal expression-->YES. I've always had a prodigious vocabulary. I used the word "preternatural" in my 9th grade "what I did last summer" essay.
Excellent memory skills-->To an extent. I think my memory problems are more because I dissociate and am multiple in some way than anything else.
Attention to detail, but misses the big picture-->I have always had a horrible time getting or explaining the big picture.
Trouble understanding reading-->Yes. I can tell you what the reading said, but what it means? Not really, which is why I always hated in school when you had to explain what something meant or what the symbolism was, etc. I would BS my way through and felt extremely envious of the people who could just...get things magically.
Difficulty with math, especially word problems-->YES. I hate math. I actually originally went to get IQ tested because I thought I was dyscalculic. Word problems are my nemesis. I scored in the 4th percentile on the simple arithmetic part of the achievement test, too. That was embarrassing. But I honestly never understand word problems. Trying to extract the proper elements never work for me.
Poor abstract reasoning-->Yes. I'm terrible with abstract reasoning.
Physically awkward; poor coordination-->Look at me doing any sort of physical activity or sport and answer that. Some of my alters are fairly physically coordinated. I am not at all. I know my physical disabilities don't help, but I have never been anywhere close to the picture of grace.
Messy and laborious handwriting-->In childhood, yes. It's gotten better as I've gotten older because I became determined to write nicely. I also think some of the niceness of my handwriting is due to alters' influences who got tired of the messiness.
Concrete thinking; taking things very literally-->To an embarrassing degree, yes. People tell me a lot that I wasn't supposed to take it literally.
Trouble with nonverbal communication, like body language, facial expression and tone of voice-->Yes. I can get it sometimes, but not really from body language. It's more like some magical emotional leap that...ok, well, again I suspect that the times I understand people's body language, it's not actually ME understanding.
Poor social skills; difficulty making and keeping friends-->F*** yes. That is actually why my dad promised me way back when that when I got to high school, we wouldn't move around anymore because he knew I was so terrible at making friends. I never know what to say. How much to say. When to say it. What the other person is thinking. What should I say to be friendly and not creepy and awkward.
Fear of new situations-->New situations are bad, bad, bad, I MUCH prefer the familiar!
Trouble adjusting to changes-->I hate changes. Even changes in a website design, I hate. You have no idea how much I dislike Facebook's new changes, to the point I've downloaded chrome extensions to keep it more similar to the "old" version. I even hate when small details of my room are rearranged.
May be very naïve and lack common sense-->Er... Not that I want to admit it, but...yeah, to an extent, I am and I do. I don't want to be naive, and I've become less naive as I've grown up, but I still lack common sense in quite a few areas.
Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem-->Yes, yes, and yes. I don't know if that's due to a learning disorder or simply what life has been for me, though. I think I've always been at least a bit anxious, however.
May withdraw, becoming agoraphobic (abnormal fear of open spaces): Withdraw? Yes. Agoraphobic? I don't think so, even if I haven't left this apartment in days. I could. If I wanted to. And had somewhere to go. Honest.


I'm pretty sure that completely normal, regular people cannot say yes to this many things and have these many problems going on. But I don't know. The guy who did my IQ test was also a foreign exchange student and...it was hard to understand his English to be honest, which I'm sure didn't help with the testing. But I mean, y'know how there's a "match the block design" part? That I'm sure kindergartners can get right? I got the last one wrong. He even looked surprised [thanks, dude ].

It's a very big problem, whatever it is. And it's making me feel a right bloody idiot.

Hi, Eisa! I took an IQ test too and it looked weird.. My results seem to vary a lot too. Maybe it has to do with some kind of post traumatic stress or dissociation?
If you think you have a learning disorder, you could ask your others what they think about seeing a doctor. You don't have anything to be embarrassed about, this happens to lots of people.

hi, jasmin! your avi makes us happy. pardon if this doesn't make a lot of sense--it's way too late to be awake and we had our very...intense alter out for a lil while tonight. it always takes a while to kinda recover from that. :3

i don't know if it was because of stress or dissociation. my verbal iq was like...125 or something like that, it was...acceptable. i was pretty good at all the verbal/language stuff. and ok at "working memory" stuff [although that, i think WAS affected by dissociation...not so much dissociating during the iq test, but because my brain is so accustomed to dissociation...it's hard for me to hold sequences of numbers or letters in my head at all.] but the other stuff...gah. i was trying so hard, and just...failed. and i think i have been...looking at this LD for years, i just stop thinking about it and go round to denial and ignoring there's a problem...and then come back to it.

if we could find a doctor, we'd go...our alters don't have a problem with me being diagnosed because i'm the one with the real problem with all of it...others are shy or socially awkward, but that all IS directly linked with trauma. but it's supposed to start with the iq test/assessment, and the guy who did ours kept saying i was fine. from what we've read online, having a 30+ point difference between verbal and nonverbal isn't a good thing. and indicates there's a problem. but he just ignored that. we got a's in our math classes in college...i think mostly because of someone else lol, it was not me remembering stuff. and it was like he focused entirely on that, instead of my actual test results, which...weren't very good. maybe we could try and get another assessment? that one was really expensive--and it was at the university, which is supposed to be cheaper.

i just...i don't know, i want to feel better. i want to be ok with change. and not freak out around new people. and be able to make intuitive leaps...or baby steps. and not go on kicks of things where i have to have the same thing for ages. y'know what i mean? it's affecting everything, and it's to the point i really...cba with it anymore. although at least my bf doesn't think it's because i don't care to remember what's going on with him...that it's 'cause of...something gone...wonky.

i don't know anyone else who deals this badly with any sort of "change."

Your avi makes me happy too Do you have a psych? Maybe they could recommend another test or find a way to help with this. Or you could go to your regular doctor and ask what you can do to find a good specialist.
Or maybe the kittie will help!

-giggles- I think the kitty has a better chance of helping, tbh. I don't have a psych OR a general doctor, for that matter. The only doctors I see on any sort of regular basis are a gastroenterologist and my gyn. Who is truly lovely in terms of calming me down when she has to do an exam, but would probably not know much about learning disorders.

I guess I'm like...I know it doesn't have to be this, but it...fits. Or why else do I have all these problems? I thought I was just...mentally challenged before because I have so many ridiculous issues with these things. I wanted to blame some of them on OCD tendencies, but they aren't OCD. Like eating the same thing for a month. Is not OCD.

Just so confusing... -sighs-

You don't have a general doctor, like a family doctor or something? Ask one of the doctors you see where you can find a doctor who can send you to a specialist for this or ask your alters to ask them. I'm sure it can be worked out.
Kitties!

Nope. We used to, but he was an incompetent twit, and we haven't found anyone else. That's a good idea. I'm not sure when my next appointment will be with anyone, but...yeah. And definitely get an alter to ask. I fail at asking anyone in authority anything. Bad me.

Kitties are AWESOME. Especially fluffy kitties. <3

Good luck with finding a good doc, I've had bad experiences with them too, way too many bad experiences

I think pets brighten up anyone's life hehe