there are definitely 2 types of HPD, maybe more

I have come to the stark realisation that I was involved in another HPD relationship about 20 years ago. I have posted elsewhere that I have just finished a HPD relationship (explosive type).
I would like to share my earlier experience with you good people.
The person I was dealing with used sex as a sort of control mechanism. She would only allow me enough sex to keep me well behaved.
She was a single parent so basically I was being used as a support to her while she raised her kids.
She was very friendly with this older guy, who was besotted with her, and used to pay her a lot of compliments, which I guess fed her ego.
This went on for a couple of years. Then one day, this friendship ended very abruptly. He was basically dropped as a friend very quickly.
She wasn't the attention seeking type as she was quite shy, but she did pay quite a bit of attention to her appearance and never went out without makeup.
She took a part time job at one point and met a man there. She did get involved with him sexually, and she used him as a bargaining tool to extract more favours from me.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that HPD comes in many guises. This person's "supply" was security while her kids grew up. She used sex as a controlling feature.
When the relationship ran its course, she moved on away from me and never looked back. I guess I had served my purpose.

I have since found out that she subsequently married an older guy (with a little bit of money and status behind him). The marriage lasted about 5 years and I guess she relieved him of some of his wealth.

To me these type of people are more insidious and nasty. Everything is more controlled and hidden. They operate in a more covert fashion.

At least with the attention seeking HPD, in a sense they are more open and honest, especially if they drink, as you can see what they are like.

All HPDs live for attention.

Most HPDs are extroverted but there are also introverted HPDs who are known as passive-aggressive HPDs.

Then you have BPD which is like a more extreme version of HPD.

Yes, there are many expressions––a range of nuanced behaviors with emphasis on various cluster B traits. Otto Kernberg and Theodore Millon have both used graphical representations to illustrate the mixture and relationship of traits. Kernberg's chart shows his concept of cluster B relatedness and Millon shows the expression of other cluster B traits in HPD. I have posted these before, but will link again for newer folks.

The two common divisions of histrionic expression are usually thought to be in the method used for attention-seeking, with appearance and overt sexuality being the stereotypical norm, and somatization being the less common, less overt manifestation. The DMV-IV describes the overt appearance-sexuality style to the complete exclusion of the somatization sub-type. And of course, it is perfectly feasible for these to coexist with varying degrees of emphasis. Also, asphyx makes a good point about a more passive-aggressive style being associated with introversion.

My HPD pretty well covered the entire range with theatrical being understated while antisocial, narcissistic, dependent, appeasing, and infantile all being dominant at various times. She'd be a great case study... never had I imagined that someone so intelligent and academically gifted could be so completely dysfunctional in the realm of object relations.

I think we tend to ascribe the dysfunctions of psychosis broadly but it can be narrowly focused or diffuse, and even when diffuse it can skip, or possibly even enable, other areas of functionality that allow the individual to perform brilliantly in a particular way, such as seen in autistic savants. The relevance being research indicating smaller frontal lobe area or reduced activity in personality disordered individuals, and other research on savant syndrome showing activation of savant traits in non-savants by temporarily deactivating the left frontal lobe. There is speculation that the frontal lobe function, which allows us to function normally in a social context, limits direct access to objective sensory input that is normally in the realm of the subconscious. So, some individuals who are labeled as social misfits due to low frontal lobe function may, for that very same reason, demonstrate abnormally high intelligence in another area.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savant_syndrome
http://www.neuroskills.com/tbi/bfrontal.shtml
http://tinyurl.com/ylmvfvn (frontal lobe syndromes - generally)

Kernberg believes that borderline is a common basis underlying all cluster B disorders. He places the severity of neurosis-psychosis on the y axis and the degree of introversion-extroversion on the x axis... the location of this point being generally correlated with expression as a particular cluster B disorder.






Millon, who was instrumental in developing the DMV-IV, tends to see the cluster B disorders as more discrete but recognizes the wide range of B elements within the HPD disorder.


Click the Millon chart for a nice large image.

*The forum gurus in their infinite wisdom (Chucky?) have set the size limit for images to 480 pixels. Any larger and it won't display at all. Why shouldn't images be allowed at 750 pixels, the same width as text? The usability factor took a hit when this board was reconfigured. The site's home page is chaos, and moderators... their posts say what I dare not.

Santa Fe,

Thanks so much for those graphs. I am new here and had not seen them before. They make a lot of sense to me. In the second graph, I see many of my ex's traits, some clustered and some diffuse.

You said

Kernberg believes that borderline is a common basis underlying all cluster B disorders.

This is a very interesting statement, because I have wondered this myself since 7/08, when it first occurred to me that my ex might have a personality disorder. At that time I was familiar with BPD (although luckily not a personal experience!) but not HPD. My ex is clearly an HPD, but I most definitely see BPD as underlying. In other words she meets the criteria for both, but, in my layperson's terms, BPD is the more general diagnosis and HPD the more specific.

It is so helpful to see these things and to read in this forum as I struggle to both understand and distance myself from the nightmare that was my relationship with my ex.

That's kind of how it all clicked for me as well... I started trying to figure out what my ex wife's issue was and when I first read about borderline I realized that was it. I went to a family counselor to learn more but of course he wouldn't confirm my suspicion... but he did teach me about enforcing boundaries. Man, when I started enforcing boundaries she came unraveled. But yes, I like Kernberg's take on the underlying borderline for the whole range. The HPD that I knew exhibited behaviors from almost all areas of the chart. Remarkably similar and different at the same time.