Our partner

Post breakup HPD's reactions

Histrionic Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: xdude

Forum rules
Attention Please. You are entering the Histrionic Personality Disorder forum. Please read this carefully.

Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of HPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non HP readers. Discussions related to HPD behavior are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging or encouraging these urges is not what this forum is intended for.

Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse from HPDs. .
Non HPD users are welcome to post here, But their questions Must have a respectful tone.
If you are a NON and have issues with an past relationship with an HPD person, it is suggested that you Post in a Relationship forum. Here is a link to that forum: relationship/

For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.

Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
Please feel free to contact a moderator if you have any questions or concerns.

Best Regards,
The Team

Post breakup HPD's reactions

Postby attractedtoit » Wed Nov 05, 2008 2:50 pm

I was married for 10 yrs to a HPD... tough & messy ending, at that point i had no idea was i was into. My most recent relationship was a year & a half and ended with the new HPD two weeks ago.

We were living together and just one week before she melted down in front of our couples counselor and stated she needed "space" we were talking engagement, buying a house togerther and she was sharing the info with our families.

I was prepared this time and "helped her" out of the house to stay with her girlfriend within two days. The "go find yourself" play while i watch this unravel from a distance.

We have had a few emotional & hot/cold moments, but it's been light texting & emails with only two or three face to face meetings. Our conversations are centered on each of us dealing with our personal issues & seeing if we can put things back together at some future point. I'm letting her peacefully go her way & she is doing a half/half... hanging w/ friends, working out, getting into her job... and banging around with a bartender she has hookup history with. That started the very first night i moved her out.

The first two or three days she was cocky as hell & was loving my solemn approach. day four she started catching onto my lack of interest & "go find yourself... i understand" approach. Combined with stopping by the house and seeing i had packed up all her items and had them waiting in the garage, everything started to change. in our few interactions she was depressed, anxious and very quiet.

She came over last night to see my kids & let them see her/our dog & get a few items. She was very detached & depressed... barely said a word & looked like she was in a trance. Sat at her pc for an hour while my kids and i got dinner & homework together.

without the kids she & i sat down together to eat. Her passive/agressive interrogation kicked in:

who were you with Friday nite?
who are you taking to the event Thursday?
why are your friends talking to my friends about the breakup?
why does everyone know?
a lot of attacking & self destructive questions.

I'm a hot head when i "break"... i role played in my mind prior to her coming over as to how i would handle the situation based upon which one of her personalities showed up.

i was pleasant, honest & complimentary in my answers & diverted the conversation several times only to get pulled back into the sabotage. After :15 i was done eating and done with the ordeal & quietly asked her to get her things together... it was time for her to leave.

Stomping, mean statements for :10 minutes. i went to the other side of the house. She stomped around & left & came back & stomped around & left. :10 she calls (i don't answer)... :15 later she texts (i don't respond) & sez i was harsh, mean & torturous with my words & killed the evening. She wants no contact. This is why she wanted out originally & why she wants no more of my abuse.

NC is the obvious play. What is coming next? my other PD's, albeit different circumstances acted entirely different... either had a "branch" in place & never looked back (til they needed NS of course) or stalked, clung & begged for another chance.

Based on the timeline & events what is going to be headed my way next?
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:53 pm
Local time: Thu Jul 27, 2017 12:34 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Postby Sir*Lingam » Sat Nov 08, 2008 3:08 pm

I hope some of the others here reply to this for you. It looks like I will be going the same route as you and I would love to see what to expect as well.
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
Posts: 56
Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:59 pm
Local time: Thu Jul 27, 2017 12:34 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby MyWave » Sat Nov 08, 2008 11:05 pm

Your just torturing each other with the drama and codependency

You say your relationship is over but your still in contact with each other

What to expect next? I would say that is entirely up to you, but I sense a part of you likes the drama. You claim this is your second HPD relationship, and that in itself raises some flags

Attractedtoit...the name itself is ironic don't ya think?

If anything for the sake of your kids, I hope you make the healthy choice
You feed the fire that burned us all
When you lied
To feel the pain that spurs you on
Black inside
~ Alice in Chains
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
Posts: 494
Joined: Mon May 26, 2008 7:55 am
Local time: Wed Jul 26, 2017 4:34 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby attractedtoit » Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:35 pm

MW... oh yeah, no question I'm attracted to it. Was raised by a HPD, hence the codependency. It's my achilles heal. Education & buffers are my defense... hence my question, what's coming next.

in each case (my Mom & my HPD suitors) had dominant NPD fathers... guess what my PD is? vicious cycle. slowly but surely it's being moderated... my behavior and my selection of mates. it's like alcoholism... not black jacked drunk but still havin a few beers. day to day battle.
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:53 pm
Local time: Thu Jul 27, 2017 12:34 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Return to Histrionic Personality Disorder Forum

  • Related articles
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot], L0udm0uth, violet8 and 46 guests