HSP Guy and HPD Girl - help!

Hi all
Like so many before me i have been going out of mind trying to figure what the heck I should do. I am an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) - initially self diagnosed after hours of research on the internet to try to figure out why I am so different - (all my senses are heightened - ie sense of smell, touch, taste..and yes - emotions) - and my self diagnosis was confirmed by a Psychologist. For those who have never heard of HSP, there is plenty of info on the net about it - we are in quantity - approx 25%. If anyone wants any more info on this gift..(and it is a gift..or a curse..depending on your point of view)..let me know and I can post some links out of interests sake. Ok..enough about that.
My lady and me have had this roller coaster, on again off again, intense, sexually dynamic relationship for the past 2.5 years.
As an HSP, I sit back and observe a lot - not judge - just observe - but remember. As time goes by, I have a collection of these observations in my mind - which when combined, piece together like a jigsaw puzzle. This gives me an overall image and feeling for who I'm dealing with. The timeframe can be years...so the overall image is never hastily created,
When I first met her..she consumed all of my senses at once - she was interesting, funny, her speech had dynamics I had never heard, held my attention for hours without me saying a word, she wouldn't be what I would call a stunner as she was in her late forties, nonetheless, impeccably groomed, and wore clothes that made sure any man would notice the cute bod and cleavage. I had never be so taken with a woman before - she had my attention.
We dated for a while - and no..didn't get sexual for a while..I ran for the hills when there was any suggestion of that - some HSPs are sexually wild at any opportunity..I hold that back until I know who I'm dealing with - by my own choice..but thats another story.
OK - the things I noticed about her are as follows:
When on the phone, all I hear about is what happened in her day. When I step in and say..do you want to know how my was..she says yes..within 4 words..she jumps in and it is about her again.
I get 20 txts a day describing the most inane things ie taking a shower, washed my hair, my cat has grown..etc etc..all of which a reply is expected otherwise there is hell to pay
In person, when she tells me about her day, she jumps up, takes centre stage and acts out the days events - literally like I am in some kind of theatre
Has left me many times..right when I needed her most..like 2 days after a shoulder operation - i was at home..immobilised..my 2 little boys who were 3 and 5 at the time told her to stop speaking to daddy so bad..he's hurt..she told me I had turned them against her and they were being cruel to her..then after 2 months came back and acted like nothing was wrong. Yes..stupid me..took her back.
As long as I have known her, she has never taken any responsibility for any conflict in her life - with her ex, her family, her parents, her friends - and of course me. It was always the "other people" that caused the problem.
Her mother is very much a matriarch in every sense of the word - she has criticised, judged and humiliated my partner - (well ex partner) for everything she does. My ex desperately wants her mothers approval and chases it constantly - will never get it. The irony in this is that her mother approves of me - go figure!
Her family and friends treat her as a bit of a space cadet - they don't take her seriously or listen to her frequent rantings or dramatics - they shut off - I have observed this with some interest.
She is always after something that is free, discounted and money plays a major part in her life. She judges people by what they financially wear on their sleeve.
She dresses like a 17 year old - which never used to bother me - we are all entitled to be ourselves. I recall one instance when I had my best friend with me - she came to visit and wore a very low cut dress that didn't leave much to the imagination. She is a 50 year old woman - attractive but gravity and age has had its way with her - and several times throughout the course of the evening, she leaned over as if to pick something up - and there was nothing to pick up - right in front of my mate - to make sure he copped an eyeful. He got me aside and said - "mate that was so inappropriate of your woman - sort her out". Nice.
I do genuinely love her - but feel like I'm on a road to nowhere.
I have read so many stories on this forum - I get the picture - I can't help her...I can only help me.
The relationship has ended again - this time with a bit of covert help from me - I didn't go out on a limb, and try to find a middle ground this time. I let her leave and left it at that.
I have had the expected tirade of txt's - left her to own devices.
Is there anyone that can offer some advice as how i can move on from her, say goodbye, contain the caring and genuine love that I have for her?

Is there anyone that can offer some advice as how i can move on from her, say goodbye, contain the caring and genuine love that I have for her?



when i tried to forget someone I genuinely loved,
I couldn't move on, It's hard, almost impossibility
unless there is 'as good replacement'
but there is no as good replacement as my bf! :< :< :< no one understands me as much as he does, no one fits me much, no one...

so I am sticking with him...
if you feel the need to leave her more than you love her, you probably can do it.
if you love her more than your need to leave her, you probably can't do it.
it's that simple.

so just ask your mind, make sure if what you really want, and doing what you really want shouldn't be too difficult!

Thanks Yyyy. Your response makes a lot of sense.
I appreciate your input.
The only question I ask is have you ever met an HSP before? We are as unique as HPD's..just on a different level

ummmm
have u ever had sex with her? how was it?

We were in a relationship for 2.5 years..so a definite yes to that - amazing passion in both of us. Why do you ask that?