Hate myself.. Relapsed at an awful time :(

Ok so I used to gamble every day all day, I lost thousands and ending up coming clean to my bank and parents, it helped me so much, it made every thing clearer and I swore to myself all my gambling was finished with.

And it's been great, actually getting paid and seeing money that I have to spend through the month without wondering how much I'll lose or win every morning.

So I am at a point in life I am moving in to a new home with my fiancé and ive gone and messed up every thing, we are going shopping next week for all new furniture, and I and she, has plenty of money for this.. Or at least. I did

I had a couple small bets on Saturday and Sunday. And where I realised this wasn't right IT was only £10 and I ended up being £90 up for the day. Potentially the worst outcome for me, today. I got back into that vicious, sick, horrible feeling or chasing losses, which today stacked up to £760 and now I have no money for furniture, and the only money I have isnt even enough to pay my mum the rent she is asking for.

I don't know what to do, my parents will be so so so dissapointed and angry I just can't bring myself to tell them, as for my fiancé. It's kills me inside even thinking about telling her, she's so excited for every thing and I have just gone and chucked over £750 away when every single penny needs to count

What can I do? I am stuck and feel like my whole life could collapse in days, collapse into nothing. All because I was gambling for money I didn't need anyway. I WAS FINE BEFORE!!!!

Do you have G.A. there? You need some support, like a sponsor & other members to call.

Gambling is not about money but about chasing a thrill. It is like a drug, and it is a drug that we have to view as harmful and expensive.

Listen you need to re-commit to not gambling. This is what gambling does to some people. Normal people don't gamble and then think their lives are going to fall apart. It's totally ok. You're a good person. You just can't afford to do it. I'm right there with you. This is what happens to me when I gamble.

If you can, take it easy, you're going to feel better, but it's going to take a couple of days. I strongly recommend GA as well. Look, try not to take your problems to your fiancé and your mom. You try to take the good things to them. But there is the serious stuff you can take to GA and to your sponsor. It's a great system for that.

I want to also suggest you get out a pen and a piece of paper and write down "I feel...." and fill it out. You are getting married, you are moving in with your future wife, you are spending a lot of money on furniture. THIS IS A LOT OF STUFF TO PROCESS. THESE ARE TRIGGERS. YOU ARE HAVING FEELINGS. It's totally okay to have feelings, it's the gambling part that just never ever works and makes us feels worthless.

Good luck.

NoFriendOfMine wrote:Ok so I used to gamble every day all day, I lost thousands and ending up coming clean to my bank and parents, it helped me so much, it made every thing clearer and I swore to myself all my gambling was finished with.

And it's been great, actually getting paid and seeing money that I have to spend through the month without wondering how much I'll lose or win every morning.

So I am at a point in life I am moving in to a new home with my fiancé and ive gone and messed up every thing, we are going shopping next week for all new furniture, and I and she, has plenty of money for this.. Or at least. I did

I had a couple small bets on Saturday and Sunday. And where I realised this wasn't right IT was only £10 and I ended up being £90 up for the day. Potentially the worst outcome for me, today. I got back into that vicious, sick, horrible feeling or chasing losses, which today stacked up to £760 and now I have no money for furniture, and the only money I have isnt even enough to pay my mum the rent she is asking for.

I don't know what to do, my parents will be so so so dissapointed and angry I just can't bring myself to tell them, as for my fiancé. It's kills me inside even thinking about telling her, she's so excited for every thing and I have just gone and chucked over £750 away when every single penny needs to count

What can I do? I am stuck and feel like my whole life could collapse in days, collapse into nothing. All because I was gambling for money I didn't need anyway. I WAS FINE BEFORE!!!!

Hey bud. One bet will always lead to more and majority of us can't control it. It's like a coke addict, they're not just going to have one line. One line will lead to many and a Binge until they cant get anymore, run out of money or credit, or until they collapse/pass out after days on the stuff and no sleep.

I don't know your situation. You have to gauge what is the best thing to do. Hiding things up, lies and secrets are no good. Often lead to worse situations and feelings etc. But if it's going to cause a lot of trouble, serious trouble for you, then your world is the most important, say you loaned the money to a friend who had a drug debt and is in big trouble. Of course if your girl has access to the statements where you deposited money online if you did it online your fish food either way.

I'm not promoting lying. But all of us can sit here and say honesty is the best policy well where is that going to get you if your girl friend leaves you. That's if. Would it really cause that much trouble if you said you relapsed? You have to come up with that answer. If people will just be pissed, who cares. Front up. If more than that will happen, lie.

Thanks for reply guys,

I still haven't told anyone. I don't even know where to start. But within 24 hours I wont have money to even refuel my car.

And i don't even want to take more money off my parents. They don't deserve to have to waste their money cause of my selfish, foolish ways.

But I just don't know what to do. I don't want a bail out but I've got too much going on in my life that needs money. I Just don't know what to do. I've had to just lock myself in my room from everyday all evening claiming I am not well. But im just full of regret and shame

Jez man, I know how you feel and sympathise with the situation I really do. I remember having to hide my bad stories from people, its not a good place

It sounds like you might be cornered bud, feeling all that pain and guilt hiding away is not good for your health. If you really cant get out of this I think you should just own up.

It wont be pretty, and it will be tough to tell them that but if they love you they will or at least should forgive. If they find out later that could work out worse anyway as they could say you had been lying for a longer time?

People make mistake, people relapse. Least you know it was a bad move in the first place and realise this.

If you cant get the cash from friends, a bank or anyone else apart from your girlfriend or parents the bud your going to have to say arn't you?

Good luck I hope it works out for you.

Best regards
Gamblingfool