I can't keep doing this Online Poker

This is my first. I have been playing online poker since 2006. I have tried to convince myself several times that i am in charge and that i should be ok if i can adhere to good bankroll management. Recently i started from $20 and made it to $5k in two weeks. I lost the entire $5k in less than 3 days. This scenario has happened over and over and over again. My problem is that once i lose this sort of amount, i go crazy and keep loading my account with money i can't afford to play poker with. I have borrowed money from firends and girlfriend only to lose it. I always think i can make more money and pay these people back. It gets worse when i under pressure to pay these people back. I feel like poker is my only way out. Am on the verge of losing my girlfriend and some really good friends because i can't afford to pay them back. I have come to understand that i have a huge problem and that I AM ADDICTED TO POKER. I honestly don't know how am going to resolve my relationship and debt issues but i believe the first step is to quit playing poker. So here i am, i need help. I have uninstalled all poker software on my computer. I am planning to talk to my girlfriend and explain to her the extent of my problem. Am rock bottom, have $-300 to my name and in debt to my friends. What the heck do i do???

You try to get yourself out of debt the same way you got into it. Gambling. I've did exactly what you have done, and am actually in the same situation right now. Owing friends money. What are you going to do? the same thing I am doing. Stop gambling, work, and slowly but surely repay your debts. Honesty is not always the best policy with some people unfortunately. But for the most part, it is. Explain to people you don't have the money right now but you will pay it off slowly and you will indeed repay the debt as you and I both know. I'm sure your friends know it too. You don't sound like a bad person at all. Just someone who is addicted.

I have also repeated the same pattern { it's not a pattern it's what gambling is for 99 percent of people } of winning and then losing it all and then some. Gambling should have that named changed to losing because that's exactly what gambling is. You will never change. It's not your fault. It's like a heroin addict having 10 bags of it in front of them. They won't stop until it's all gone. As long as you gamble you will have nothing to your name as all of your money and more will go towards it.

Quit for good my man. 2006, interesting. The year I became a full blown gambler too. Stop now, it's not too late for us man. You'll feel better when you do. That's worth more than money. Never go back, in time you will forget the pain and misery it caused you and where it led you.

Never, ever go back. Not even just for a small bet.

gamblingisevil,Thanks for your words of advise. Today is officially go to be the first day i try to stay away from poker. I can't seem to get the thought of poker out of my head and its mainly because of the pressure i feel to pay these people back but i have told myself poker is not the way. I have tried it and its simply not the way. My plan is to channel my energy towards computer programming. I am a microbiologist but i have always wanted to learn how to program. I am not sure if that is the way to go about it though. All i know is i want to stop doing this to myself. Day 1, i hope i can make it through.

Hello Timetostop,

Your situation sound very similar to the problems I’ve had so I think I know how you’re feeling.

I started playing poker around 2006 also, I thought it was so much fun at the start and played so much, I got addicted very quickly. I had friends who played and I learnt from them, at that time we encouraged each other believing we had the knack for the game. Small stakes of 50 cent ended up turning it 20 dollar small blind this year! It hurt massively as I lost so much.

The reason why I kept it up for so long was with poker at the casino I was up over the years. When I travelled through Australia and New Zealand my winnings were paying for my trip. However, on drunken nights towards the end of my travels I downloaded Full Tilt Poker where I maximised my credit cards and returned to the UK in debt!! Ridiculous and foolish considering I put so much time to be in profit but to wax the lot so quickly online. Tragic!

For the first 3-4 years online I seemed to play it every single evening, tournaments, sits and go, more sit and go’s, cash, cash and more cash games. Some people knew I played it and said it was bad for me but I just shrugged it away convinced I was great, it was my money so I could do what I want. I just wish I wasn't so stupid and selfish then.

For the past 4 I had seemed to control my online poker play as it had been the downfall and I carried a little poker play at the casinos here and there. My ex hated it so I stopped (as much as i could) with the online poker. Even though I didn't play online so much I STILL lost just as much massively to poker during 'gambling binges' where I would play solid for a few days playing high stakes and gambling every single penny of savings. Emotions out the window. It was gutting as I had controlled myself not going mad on other forms of casino play like Blackjack, Roulette etc - I just wanted to be a bloody good poker player and I even considered it professionally and to pack in a good paid day job!

From coming on this site (and I wish I came to the forum years ago as I would have lot more cash in my account) you will find a lot of good advice and posts.

Where this has got you right now you need to put your energy into something else, and you recognise this which is the first right steps mate. Keep this post forever and update your days of how far you have gone if you seriously want to try and quit. Try to be honest of progress and / or any relapses.

If you get a chance to read my post, 'Gambling fool to internet poker, why can’t I stop? day one’ it’s really similar circumstances to you, I hope it helps.

Try to pay back your friends and family through your normal day job, don’t go back to gambling as if you win, you will play again and eventually lose even more, and if you lose you will gamble more (on a binge) until you get into a more larger whole financially. Only then you will be asking yourself why you did it? Whats wrong with me? Don’t let yourself go there and feel sick about yourself, do positive things with your money and time. You will feel much much better I promise you that.

Also, thank you lucky stars (if you can!) that you are just in 500 dollars in debt. Some people on here end up completely bankrupt / lose familys / friends / jobs etc. Which you WILL avoid but only if you stop. You can get through this.

I am only 40 days ahead of you, this is early doors mate......LETS MAKE IT YEARS and IMAGINE how happy you would feel being away from this all and having the stability for a home / family / top holidays / sports cars haha!

Feel free to post me a message if you need any help.

Good luck,
The Gamblingfool