advice?

I am not actually diagnosed with DID, I haven't ever spoken to a doctor about it or anything... it bacame obvious at the age of 15 that i had this though, to make the story short a close friend bagan noticing strange behavior and that i sometimes didnt remember things i should... I am 25 now and as far as I know i have had at least a total of 8 alters... I am not co-consious with any of them except 1... and there is a newer one i don't know very much about, not even her name.... very few people in my life know i have this, not even most of my family... I have been doing a lot of research lately and i want to get a better handle on everything, i've never reached out for help before but i feel it is necessary now.... is there a way i can become co-concious with all my alters? amanda (the one i am co-concious with) has been.... distant..... i want her to help me with the others but i just don't know where to start.

sad day.... so far 64 views, and no replies.... anybody? anything?
also thinking about hypnotism.... any advice on that? anybody try it before? does it work? someone please reply.....

Co-consciousness is easier to achieve the more you know about your alters, the more communication you have with them, and the more aware you are of your alters. All of these things can be developed, and therapy certainly helps that development. If you aren't already, I would recommend you start to look for a therapist who is familiar with dissociative disorders, at the very least, familiar with PTSD (since it is similar in many ways) and is a believer of DID (you don't want a therapist who doesn't believe you or that it exists). Definitely do your research on therapist choices beforehand.

Communication- Try anything that comes to mind. Talking to your alters, both "inside" your head and out loud. Writing to your alters, that way they can reply on their own time, and it can be easier than verbal communication. Let them know that they are safe, that their environment is safe, that you know they're there, and you want to simply get to know them more. Let them know that you're aware of them and want to know them. Let them know that everything is ok and that it's ok for them to communicate with you if possible. Remember, just because they might not be able to communicate with you, doesn't mean they can't hear you. Ask if anyone would like to come forward. Ask for Amanda, even. And when you attempt this, make sure you are as comfortable, safe, and relaxed as possible. How you feel can affect how your alters feel, and the more safe and relaxed you feel, the better your alters will feel about contacting you. Remember- the entire point of a DID system is to hide and be unnoticed. It might take some time before they realize they don't need to hide anymore.

Learning- find out all you can about your alters, or at least what they're willing to share. Name, age, looks, likes, dislikes, wants, goals, hobbies, etc. The more you know them, the more you'll understand them, and the more aware you'll hopefully become of them. If nothing else, start out with asking Amanda about the others, and see what all she's comfortable with sharing.

Co-consciousness is a process, it's not something that can be done overnight, or something that can be "fixed" with something like hypnosis. (Well, sometimes it can happen instantly, but usually due to a cause/reason/(good) trigger). Though hypnosis could be helpful, just as meditation is often extremely helpful with working on communication and such. But be patient with yourself and with them.

As for the views and no reply thing, well, I'm sorry about that, but sometimes people don't feel like they are able to help, though they read. I'd also bet that sometimes, with how many repetitive questions we get on here (not that it's your fault or anything, not saying that), people might get tired of answering the same or similar questions and might hope that the poster finds the threads that already answers the same or similar questions. (Not meaning to offend or upset or blame anyway, just stating a possible fact).

Other than that, hello and welcome! This is a safe, supportive place (though not always responsive, but no place is perfect), so feel free to share anything you're comfortable with, stay a while, and take a look around. I hope this place is helpful to you.

~Cassandra

crazy3 wrote:sad day.... so far 64 views, and no replies.... anybody? anything?
also thinking about hypnotism.... any advice on that? anybody try it before? does it work? someone please reply.....

Friday nights usually are pretty slow here. I suppose many of us were off the computer doing something. I was doing something involving Halloween.

Hypnosis to explore the internal system and access alters was very popular in the 1990's but fell into disrepute as having potential for therapists to accidentally create false memories in highly suggestible clients. So today some therapists who are experienced at treating DID, and also use hypnosis, prefer not to use hypnosis with their DID clients.

Wow, Thank you.... this really does help, some things I'm still unsure of though, the new alter (maybe up to 3 years so I don't know if new is the right word, but i just learned about her) I believe she is a sexual type... maybe a protector, I think she wants me to know her finally but I don't know how to talk to her, I don't even know her name... But asking if anyone wants to come forward is a good idea... Amanda was the one who always knew everything about the others.... I think she is my origional, she kept track of everything, but the others i had at the time (6 plus Amanda to make 7)all slowly seemed to go away (I now believe they integrated with Amanda) I used to talk with amanda a lot... she was very helpful to me but i didn't talk to her for a long time and she stopped coming out as much, i could still sence her but she feels far away... i think she believes i don't need her anymore... I never thought about it much untill i learned about this new alter and had no way of finding out the information i wanted about her... i tried asking Amanda to come out, to talk with me... she was there but she avoided the conversation, she doesn't want me to know yet i think and i don't know why.... Unfortunately as far as a therapist goes there is no way i can see one, money wise I barely make it month to month as it is ( i have two children and my budget is completely spoken for by my existing bills) so since i can't see a therapist i have to find other ways to make this all work, to figure it out... thats why i came here i know it isn't the same exactly but i felt it would help and it's the best i'm able to do right now.

Random thing i wanted to mention, a freind of mine recently told me she thinks i might have a little... I didn't think i did but it made some sence the way she described it to me...

would it be safe to have my boyfriend (of over 3 years, very supportive, very trustworthy and safe) try hypnotism on me? we have been looking into it and I feel that would be less chance of "creating memories" because finding memories isn't his goal, getting the unknown alters to come out is.... if he were to get me in a very relaxed state, maybe when i'm close to sleeping, and just asked me questions about random things, like how my day went, then slowly transition the conversation to amanda, trying to get her to come out (he has talked to her before, only a couple times though) and then could ask her about the others and see if they might come out too... I don't know it seems like it would work maybe, if we did it right and kept trying at it... but i wanted anouther opinion before we try if it really might be a good idea or if it could be harmfull somehow...

Thank you again for the information, i think it will definately help me to go in the right direction with all of this.... and i am more than happy to hear any other advice or suggestions anyone has....

crazy3 wrote:would it be safe to have my boyfriend (of over 3 years, very supportive, very trustworthy and safe) try hypnotism on me?

No. Absolutely not.

I don't know how it is where you're at, but where I am, there are centers and therapists who help financially struggling people. Some will give a discount, some will wave fees entirely for a bit depending on your case, it's always worth a try. Do you have insurance through work or anything? Many therapists will take insurances and you don't have to pay anything out of pocket.


Just because alters stay silent for a while doesn't mean they've integrated. A lot of people, including myself, think that alters integrate because they've been so quiet (sometimes for a long time, like years), but then they end up resurfacing and you realize they didn't really integrate. So, don't assume anything for sure.


"New" alters can be called new. They're not new to existing, but they're new to your awareness. As for the new alter, you don't have to know her name to call her out or ask to talk to her. Try saying stuff like "Can I talk to the female who I just learned about, who's a bit of the sexual type", or something like that. You could even try writing something like that to see if she responds in her own time.


Amanda sounds more like a care taker of the system, not necessarily an original. My original core is 8 yr old Cassie, and she doesn't keep track of anything she doesn't have to. Oh, and knowing who the original is isn't really important (unless for therapy reasons). Lots of people don't know who the original is, or don't have the original around (sometimes, it's too much for the original to stay "awake" or "around", so they kinda just stay "asleep").


You could always try asking Amanda why she seems to not want you to know yet. But be patient with yourself, all of yourself. DID systems are meant to hide and not be noticed, so it could just simply take some time for your system to get used to not having to hide anymore. Consistent reassurance that you're safe, they're safe, they can come forward, and you'd simply like to get to know them, can help with this.


Littles are common to have, especially since splitting starts in childhood. Maybe you can ask Amanda if you have a little, or even ask the little to come forward? Before you do, make sure you're as safe and as comfortable as possible. Littles especially need reassurance. Surround yourself with comfy, safe objects like pillows, blankets, any stuffed animals you may have, stuff like that.


I agree with Una+ on this one. It's not safe for your boyfriend to attempt hypnotism on you. Not a good idea at all. Leave that type of stuff to professionals, though it's not preferred thing for DID patients. Perhaps look to meditation as a sort of replacement? It can usually produce the same or similar results because of the relaxed states you can reach, and it's much safer. Again though, be patient with yourself. The stuff you're searching for will come to you, and it is possible to figure that stuff out with increasing communication, it just takes some time. Meditation can definitely help a lot, though.


There's no "easy fix" or "fast way" to figure everything out. Working on communication, meditation, and consistent reassurance to your others are the best ways to get the answers you're looking for. Therapy definitely helps, but it's not absolutely needed if you can't get it yet. Just know it'll take some time, and without therapy, it might take a bit more time. It all depends on you, your system, and how everyone feels (in terms of being "ready" and stuff).

I wrote to Amanda a few days ago, about a page long, the next day she ended up coming out long enough to respond, though it was very short... she did give me the new alters name though, Wanda, she said that Wanda does want to reveal herself to me and is working up to it. Amanda also told me that she thinks I am ready for some answers (there are a few specific questions i have about things that have happened, things "I did" while wanda was out and I didn't know about it.) She also said I might not be ready to know everything... which i kind of find concerning, but when I was reading it I got the sense or feeling it isn't anything too bad...

as for the others that I think integrated with Amanda it is hard to say for sure but they were really more like fragments than full identities, they had names and all but were not as complex as amanda was, and I remember as they stopped being around more and more Amanda seemed to change just slightly, like there was more to her.... that's why I think they may have integrated, it's been nine years since those 6 seemed to dissapear, it would feel strange if they ever came back... I know it's always possible but i guess it doesn't feel likely to me.

I still have no idea about the little (if i have one) I didn't ask about that in the letter to Amanda and she didn't mention it.

about therapy... I have medi-cal.... it covers 16 sessions total, which i already used (my son was going to have brain surgery and it was very emotional and scary for me) long before I had any idea I had another alter or I was still switching so much. I haven't yet found anything I can afford but I will keep looking...

Question... is it possible for an alter to be both the care taker AND the origional? Amandas personality seems to fit very well into both somehow... I know she falls under the care taker type, she knows everything there is to know about the inside (which is why I didn't like it when she became distant, as well as other reasons) she is 15, and is always 15, but very smart... she's kind of fragile and doesn't really come out with people around, maybe one or two well trusted people but even then it's pretty rare... she seems to have more power over what happens on the inside than anyone else ever did... and she also has a very rational side to her.... i dunno.... just wondering if she is both cause i've always thought of her as my origional.

decided against the hypnotism idea... especially now since Amanda responded to me I don't feel its necessary.... probably going to look into meditation though....

I am feeling a lot better about things now... I know it will all take time and I'm fine with that, i don't feel like i need everything to happen at once, I just needed to know that something was going to happen and now I do feel that it's coming along, so no matter how long it takes progress is progress I am so glad I tried writing to her, so thank you again for that suggestion...

There actually isn't an "original".

DID is caused by trauma and the disruption of the personality developmental processes.


See, we all start out with neurons. In normal personality development, these neurons will become structured, forming/melding together, being moved around, some being kept, some gotten rid of, until they form a whole personality.

With DID, the personality developmental processes are interrupted, and the neurons don't become structured, nor do they form/meld together. Instead, they stay separate, forming "sides" of a personality, which later create/develop into alters. So, there is no "original" because a whole personality was never formed to begin with.


Definitely keep writing to your alters and keep up with the communication. It will help everything, especially with increasing awareness.


~The Hawk