Does anyone know?

How can we insiders make sure that we do not influence (/have less influence on) the one who is on front?

Thanks.

Is there a reason for why this is needed? You do not need to share this if you are not comfortable with it, of course.

Do you have an "inner world" that you can, essentially, escape to? Try being as far away from the "front" or "consciousness" as possible. If you have your own rooms, perhaps stay in your rooms, (or stay in a big common room if you wish to have the company of each other). Distance yourself from knowing what is happening in the "outside" world. Try to not be "in the background" when someone is out in front, try to not "look over their shoulder", so to speak. Preoccupy yourselves with activities or socialization among yourselves "inside". Are you able to change your inner world at all? Perhaps you could build yourselves rooms, doors, hallways; even a forest or a wall of hedges; try anything that appeals to you that could help separate those "inside" from the one up front. Especially if you wish to talk among yourselves and your voices can be heard by the one up front.

Meditation, relaxation, mental imagery/imagination, drawing ideas out, writing ideas out, and even looking at pictures of what you would like to have in your "inner world", are all helpful in being able to visual, change, and increase your ability to be in your "inner world".

If nothing else, you may find that "sleeping" inside will help others from distracting who is out front.

~Rain

The reason is that we want to give each other more space for our selves, and possibly more freedom. We have an inner world and we made an open garden where we can sit together, which indeed is fairly close to the outside. I'm guessing the actual problem is that we would have to want to go in further, and this is really hard if our feelings are so strong that they make us come closer?
-I mean, I barely have to think about the one who keeps things in control and he's ready to take over. It's exhausting him and it's oppressing me and others too. It's like an overly agile protector, as soon as I feel a lot of fear or excitement, he's there. The children cant ever really do their thing when out, and we are always limited in the amount of information we can give to the therapist. Cause she is scaring us and then he comes out or close, and keeps us from talking.
I have to say that meditation scares me though, cause I tried it before and I wound up in a new bad 'memory'.
-I want to stay away sometimes because I'm tired and because I'm not helping, but I didn't know how to stay away. I dont even know if I'm allowed to step away from my post. It will be hard to manage my need to control, but I will try your suggestions.
Thanks.

TheCollective wrote:How can we insiders make sure that we do not influence (/have less influence on) the one who is on front?

Thanks.

I would sure like there to be a black and white answer to this, but from my understanding the normal personality states of those with non-DID do the same to them. The best bet is a well integrated personality were all the personality states function well together. If one is out of whack (whatever that means to you), even in those without DID there will be passive influence. I have problems with this having 326 alters (none over 16 years old) running amok. My T says it is like kids doing what they want without a parent to supervise.

One part of me wants to eat healthy. Another part of me just wants immediate fulfillment of some sort - so I will eat what I should not sort of thing. What I have tried is to educate the other alters. Sometimes they do better at eating than me! My weight fluctuates up to 70lbs at a time.

Definition of Passive Influence:
Dissociation, Partial: (passive influence or partial intrusion) Alters influence each other, whether they are aware of others or not. "Any parts may intrude on and influence the experience of the part that is functioning in daily life without taking full control of functioning. [6 p.26]
http://www.dissociative-identity-disord ... ology.html

Oh, I know this.
There is a very fit woman amongst us. She is unable to come forward for a long time, the passive-something took over and it eats sugar like crazy. it tried smoking cigarettes but it didn't agree with out 'morals' (one of us freaked out about cancer BADLY).
I think maybe slow education of all the alters is possible. I mean something like... there's a line none of us can cross whenever someone is in charge. if the main one is acting destructively, some sort of appeal to them...

I am the first to come out and talk about this and so I have no vocabulary, sorry if I am unclear, it just really struck a chord with me, this topic. I am just trying to encourage the fit woman to come out more often. And I don't even know who I am.