Alters & aging?

I should preface this with the fact that I'm so ######6 bad at explaining that it's not even funny but I'm gonna try..

Okay so I don't know much about the aging process of alters. Most our alters don't age at all.

So here's the deal: those of us who hold the worst memories or have the biggest tasks, for the most part, age. The others - don't. It's weird and the opposite of what I've read it's "supposed" to be like but it makes sense in our system so So the ones who age are: Nin, me, the 13? y/o. The other three who hold the worst, as far as I know, don't age for their own reasons (Elisa, Lin & Anastasia).

Nin ages normally with the body. I used to age normally, year by year more or less with the body but on "my birthday" (the day I split, and the same date the following year - just like a normal birthday and so on and so on) and so did the 13? y/o but she aged on the birthday of the body as far as I know. Anyway, some years back we were locked and when we were unlocked - we hadn't aged for a long time..

So now the body is an adult, and us two? Not so much The 13? y/o has aged to well.. we're guessing 13 from about 10 when she was unlocked. I was about 13 when I was unlocked about 6 months ago and now I am aging weirdly to catch up with the body I'm guessing. It's just - aging like this is just really weird.. It's not that fluid and I'm honestly not comfortable with getting this old this fast It doesn't scare me, but it's kinda new and weird and just.. yeah, weird But I'm guessing it's happening for a reason, so it's okay.

Wondering though how it is for any other alters who age, but not with the body (/over the course of one year at a time)? How do you experience it? How do you know how old you are? I just feel like an oddball..

Please don't feel like an "oddball", you're not. I think you explained this really well. This is a very interesting topic & I'm glad you posted it. I will be very interested to hear what everyone has to say.

For me, I will have to put some time into this bc I'm not as far along as you & do not have the best understanding on the subject.. I will post what I can, perhaps tonight. Getting ready for T & won't be home til this evening. Thanks for the post

Hi, well with us its we are mostly the same age (give or take 10 years) with the exception of Areail, Dominic, Jessie, and Anna. the rest of us have aged, we all have our own birthdays but they are not the day we spilt (we think) the only one's who haven't aged that we know of is the kids (Dominic, Jessie, and Anna) they have been kids since Jen was little. she can remember playing with Dominic and Jessie and Kat. Kat has aged and so has Jen. I hope that helps and your not an odd ball we have trouble explaining things too!

Alexia

It seems funny to me sometimes that we say anything is possible with DID and yet within a DID site lots of people still feel like "oddballs". So we have a bunch of people who feel like "oddballs" running around on a site kinda made for "oddballs" (No Offense Meant! Just couldn't figure out another way to put it). I dunno, it's just kinda funny to me.

I'm apologizing now for any weirdness like up above. A few of us are kinda like alter-co-hosting-soup right now. I'm fronting but my co-hosts just slide around, in and out, whenever/whatever type of thing. Oh well.

ANYWAY, you're most certainly NOT an "oddball". In our system, some alters age, some stay the same, and some age but they don't age yearly.

--Age with Body:
Myself, I age with the body. I imagine that's largely because I've been the host for 10 or 11 years. So far the only alter who seems to age with the body is Kyra, who's the same 21 years of age as me.

--Age Yearly (once a year on birthday):
Kat is a consistent 3 years older than me, but she ages once a year, every year, just like I do. So when I turned 21, she turned 24.
Rain is a consistent 2 years older than me, also aging annually.
Valera is like Kat, a consistent 3 years older than me.
Marie seems to age annually so far (only had one b-day with her known to me), and she seems to be a consistent 8 years older than me.

--Don't Age:
Cassie has been 8 and will probably stay 8 for at least a very long time.
Lynn has stayed 2 yrs old through my last birthday, so I'm guessing she's going to stay 2 just as Cassie stays 8.
So far, Rebel has stayed 18.
I haven't been through a birthday with Cassidy yet, but seeing as how she's like a darker Cassie, I think she's going to stay 8, too.

--Age Specially:
L.C. and Luna are perfect examples of aging "oddballs". They seem to jump from "bad year" to "bad year". L.C. (and possibly Luna) came forward/"came to be" when I was 13, a very bad year for me. Unlike years where like only half the year was consistently bad, this entire year was pretty bad consistently. At first I thought L.C. would stay 13 forever, like Cassie, and she did, until my 20th birthday. That was after we'd met Mike, and I remember him asking why L.C. wasn't older when she seemed to not be your typical 13-yr-old (well, then again she wasn't typical anyway) and had memories from junior year of high school (we all share memories and don't really have blank spots, but I meant memories that she knows are her's, not mine shared with her). I hadn't noticed that she had started maturing past being 13, and that she was more like when we were a junior in high school.

So, we had what we call an "Aging Conference". All the older alters of the Group (Main if you're a Main, Secondary if you're a Secondary) get together and discuss how the alter in questions has changed, grown, matured, gained knowledge, etc. The alter in question is also allowed to present their case for why they think they should stay the same age, or why they think they should be older, or even why they might think they should be younger. L.C. presented her case, Rain, Kat, and I discussed her case, and we agreed that she was older (though we never said how much older, or what age she "should" be. That is decided/felt by the alter who's aging. They age to what feels "right" to them). And at my 20th birthday, L.C. aged from 13 years old, to being 16 years old, the age we were during junior year of high school. Junior year was the only year that was worse than the year I was 13. So it's like L.C. jumped from one bad year to the next. She and Luna have stayed 16 so far, and I think they'll be staying that age until I have another "bad year" (if I do).

Oh yeah, and we have the "Aging Conference" thing like every birthday apparently, but I only became aware/a part of it just in time for my 20th birthday.

--Unsure:
We have some alters that we either haven't been through a birthday yet (so we don't know if they age), we don't know their age anyway, or stuff like that.
With Ray, we don't really know her age. We said she was 10 because she'd been around for 10 years and reacts to many things like a 10 yr old kid (though she has the maturity of an adult dog). But it doesn't really feel right calling her 11 yrs old because she's been around for 11 years, so we might have to wait until next birthday to see if it still doesn't feel right, because if it doesn't then we'll know she's really 10 years old.
We haven't had a birthday yet with Dallas and Damone, so we don't know if they'll stay 19 or if they'll age.
We don't know anything about "Hannibal's" age or aging process (if he has one).
And we haven't had a birthday with Shay yet, so we don't know if she'll stay 20 (she is 20, right?) or if she'll age.

Hope this helps you feel less like an "oddball".

Please don't feel like an "oddball", you're not. I think you explained this really well. This is a very interesting topic & I'm glad you posted it. I will be very interested to hear what everyone has to say.

For me, I will have to put some time into this bc I'm not as far along as you & do not have the best understanding on the subject.. I will post what I can, perhaps tonight. Getting ready for T & won't be home til this evening. Thanks for the post

Thanks I look forward to reading your reply whenever it comes.

Hi, well with us its we are mostly the same age (give or take 10 years) with the exception of Areail, Dominic, Jessie, and Anna. the rest of us have aged, we all have our own birthdays but they are not the day we spilt (we think) the only one's who haven't aged that we know of is the kids (Dominic, Jessie, and Anna) they have been kids since Jen was little. she can remember playing with Dominic and Jessie and Kat. Kat has aged and so has Jen. I hope that helps and your not an odd ball we have trouble explaining things too!

Alexia

Thanks, helps knowing there are other people who have different ways of aging within one system.

--Unsure:
We have some alters that we either haven't been through a birthday yet (so we don't know if they age), we don't know their age anyway, or stuff like that.
With Ray, we don't really know her age. We said she was 10 because she'd been around for 10 years and reacts to many things like a 10 yr old kid (though she has the maturity of an adult dog). But it doesn't really feel right calling her 11 yrs old because she's been around for 11 years, so we might have to wait until next birthday to see if it still doesn't feel right, because if it doesn't then we'll know she's really 10 years old.
We haven't had a birthday yet with Dallas and Damone, so we don't know if they'll stay 19 or if they'll age.
We don't know anything about "Hannibal's" age or aging process (if he has one).
And we haven't had a birthday with Shay yet, so we don't know if she'll stay 20 (she is 20, right?) or if she'll age.

I'm sorry if I'm being stupid, but I am kinda confused by one thing here: You say they haven't been through a birthday yet. Like Dallas and Damone and Shay; but haven't they had a birthday even if you didn't know about it? Or were they in stasis? Sorry I'm asking stupid questions I'm just really not that bright haha

Oh yeah, and we have the "Aging Conference" thing like every birthday apparently, but I only became aware/a part of it just in time for my 20th birthday.

That is so ######6 neat! Awesome

L.C. and Luna are perfect examples of aging "oddballs". They seem to jump from "bad year" to "bad year".

That's real interesting. It'll be interesting to see if they age should you not have a bad year again then!

It seems funny to me sometimes that we say anything is possible with DID and yet within a DID site lots of people still feel like "oddballs". So we have a bunch of people who feel like "oddballs" running around on a site kinda made for "oddballs" (No Offense Meant! Just couldn't figure out another way to put it). I dunno, it's just kinda funny to me.

Haha good point

ANYWAY, you're most certainly NOT an "oddball". In our system, some alters age, some stay the same, and some age but they don't age yearly.

I'm currently aging several years per year and it's really weird.. And I guess my biggest issue is just that it's weird and I've not heard of it before and how the ###$ do others know how old they are when they're aging so ######6 fast? Sorry 'bout the venting, just frustrating to feel like I'm odd even in the DID world.. But I guess I should listen to Nin: if it's happening in your system, it can happen in DID - because it happening, and we're DID and there you go

lifelongthing wrote:I'm sorry if I'm being stupid, but I am kinda confused by one thing here: You say they haven't been through a birthday yet. Like Dallas and Damone and Shay; but haven't they had a birthday even if you didn't know about it? Or were they in stasis? Sorry I'm asking stupid questions I'm just really not that bright haha

No such thing as a stupid question. Just stupid people. What Kat means is that no question is stupid, it can just be asked in a stupid context or asked stupidly by stupid people. But you're not stupid, so your questions aren't either. Exactly. What I meant by this is that we haven't had a birthday yet since I've become aware of them, so I have no idea how they age. They could've been having birthdays while I/my Main Circle (of alters) were unaware of them, but I don't know. And, actually, I don't think they really know either.

That's actually a rather gray area, and no one knows why. It's like, we know what age they are NOW or we know how old they are compared to me (like Kat being 3 years older), and we know how old the BODY was when most alters either "came to be" or came forward, but we don't really know how old the ALTER was at first. My memories are fuzzy on stuff like if Kat was always 3 years older than me (though it seems so far she was) or if she was older and the gap just narrowed down to a now-consistent 3 years. (Hope this makes sense). Like, we have no idea if Damone and Dallas have always been 19, or if they've aged to be 19, or how old they were "at first", or anything.
There's a theory going around that with the ones we're really unsure of, such as Dallas and Damone, they might've been the same age as the me/the body when they "came to be", but then they quickly/immediately aged up to however old was "needed" or "fit" the situation. But so far it's just a theory.
Of course, another reason that it's such a gray area is because no one's really ever celebrated their birthday, I don't think. Not until I turned 20 and Mike bought everyone in my "Main Circle" at the time their own gifts and such. Other than that, I'm really the only one who's been celebrating the birthday. (I don't really count my 21st birthday because it wasn't so much of a birthday party as a celebrating being able to drink party-though it was still awesome ). So, if the birthday was treated just like any other day, I can understand if people forgot that they aged or if they aged or things like that.

lifelongthing wrote:I'm currently aging several years per year and it's really weird.. And I guess my biggest issue is just that it's weird and I've not heard of it before and how the ###$ do others know how old they are when they're aging so ######6 fast? Sorry 'bout the venting, just frustrating to feel like I'm odd even in the DID world.. But I guess I should listen to Nin: if it's happening in your system, it can happen in DID - because it happening, and we're DID and there you go

I've heard of this before. I don't think it's that common (especially for human alters), but it's not weird. I know my alters know how old they are by what they think "feels right". What "feels right" to you? Do you know why you're aging so fast? Do you think it could be something needed by your system, or a characteristic that was a part of your original "creation", or something like that? Or does it just feel like it's simply out of your control confusion? Perhaps you can ask around inside for answers?

No such thing as a stupid question. Just stupid people. What Kat means is that no question is stupid, it can just be asked in a stupid context or asked stupidly by stupid people. But you're not stupid, so your questions aren't either. Exactly.

Thanks! Good to get a compliment.. eh, a not-an-insult at least from you Kat I've heard a lot about you, no offense Good to hear from ya.

So, if the birthday was treated just like any other day, I can understand if people forgot that they aged or if they aged or things like that.

Nin had this problem actually. She's been host on and off for many many years now but has almost never been out on the body's birthday growing up **trigger warning** because then the ones that take the worst of the abuse always had to be out **trigger warning** and never felt she matched the body age. She doesn't really now either. She's a lot older than our body-age and has been for most of her life. It's kinda weird.. But anyway..

I've heard of this before. I don't think it's that common (especially for human alters), but it's not weird. I know my alters know how old they are by what they think "feels right". What "feels right" to you? Do you know why you're aging so fast? Do you think it could be something needed by your system, or a characteristic that was a part of your original "creation", or something like that? Or does it just feel like it's simply out of your control confusion? Perhaps you can ask around inside for answers?

That's the thing though.. Until a few days ago (the day before I made this post) I had no idea.. I knew I wasn't 18 and I knew I wasn't 14 but I didn't know if I was 15 or would turn 15 on my birthday or if I was 16, or if I was 17 or would turn 17 on my birthday. Nothing felt "right". I just knew what I wasn't. Then one evening when I was **trigger warning** fooling around with Nin's SO **trigger warning end** I got hit with an image of myself and this flood of info and a feeling "I am 17". I aged in that moment, I felt it. It was so strange. I'm not sure why I've been aging so fast but I guess I'm, year by year (however fast they roll by) am catching up with the body? I've been aging since I split at 4 and always stayed with the body age until I was "locked" so guessing since I'm not "locked" anymore I'm catching up? It's weird and definitely out of control, but I figure I shouldn't stress about it because if it goes too fast I'll probably just revert to a younger age, so it's not that I'm scared, it's just weird and I was hoping someone could relate so this place is good No one inside seems to know, except Leo who tends to know everything, but she ain't tellin'. She always gives airy answers I can't understand or just says "Such if life" and such She's super nice and always takes good care of the inside world, but sometimes it's hard understanding her if you're not as smart as, like, Lin or Nin or some of the others

Thanks so much for all the help, I really appreciate it!

Hi! Cleo here. We are all over the shop with ages and the aging process. It's up to us and what we feel like fits.

 I've been 13 since the body was 20. When I first came about though, the body was 5 and I was 12, because 12 matched the situation I was in. Didn't age until I realized one day I didn't feel 12 anymore, so I became a teen. just like that, no birthday formally. Kinda a shame since I like those little hats

Ell, whose been around since a little over body age 1, started off being like 15, and she aged annually on her creation date for 15 years. She wasnt ever a child. When the body was 16 and she was 30, she stopped aging, mostly cuz anything of their religion stuff. Arella, on the other hand, kept aging past the body being 16- she is now 37, and she ages each year.  Some Ells don't age at all, like Hellene or Elsa. The Ell kinderkin don't age annually or with a given pattern. Rat for example went from 9 to 11 and back to 10 in a matter of weeks last year, for unexplainable reasons, then stayed 10, and Moon aged two years every year on the body's birthday, until she was 8, then stopped because nothing older felt right. Rochelle, who is rat's sister, is an astral kid- she has aged since infancy on her appropriate birthday.

Jade scoots between 16 and 24, and she ages annually, but not in a linear way. Some years she goes up, other years she goes down, but that whole year she is just the one age.

Lola is the same age as the body and she ages with it. I think she is the only one who does that...

Faylinn ages 4 years per human year, and she is far older than most humans live to be, but still very young for her kind.

Some seem to age emotionally/mentally but not physically. Leon's mental capacity grows but he's totally against aging - he's comfortable where he is at, but he's also really weary of change.

The twins Gemma and Minnie age annually, but not entire years. They've been the same year, but the number of days toward the next years goes up by 36 days a year, so they age a year per decade...which is a little wacky

Thanks SO ######6 MUCH for posting that! I feel a gazillion times better knowing there are systems out there like ours!! The twins' aging system and several othres are really neat!

I've been 13 since the body was 20. When I first came about though, the body was 5 and I was 12, because 12 matched the situation I was in. Didn't age until I realized one day I didn't feel 12 anymore, so I became a teen. just like that, no birthday formally. Kinda a shame since I like those little hats

Haha see your point Party hats! Glad you found your age though

Some seem to age emotionally/mentally but not physically. Leon's mental capacity grows but he's totally against aging - he's comfortable where he is at, but he's also really weary of change.

Reminiscent of Lin - who ages emotionally (she's 26 emotionally) but stays 12 in the body (after aging to 13, and I think 14, before aging down to 12 again after a massive trauma. Then when she tried aging again years later she was about to turn 13 but then a massive trauma happened right after she was talking about it, and she has since just put that project to rest indefinitely) and a few of her characteristics stay 12. So mentally she's 26, but emotionally she is a mix of 26 & 12. The host/core is the same way - but more due to the fact of never "having gotten to be a child", so she had to develop certain characteristics very early on and will go between the body age, 28 & 45. Those have been the set ages since she was very little. I've never thought of it as related to the DID, but I guess it could be now that I think about it.. Go figure

Thanks for this, really!!

lifelongthing wrote:Thanks! Good to get a compliment.. eh, a not-an-insult at least from you Kat I've heard a lot about you, no offense Good to hear from ya.

Heh, it's a compliment when it comes from me. No offense taken. Good to see you got a post you could better relate to.

-KAT