random rant. . . feeling down

Today i feel like crap. I am tired of being nice when all i see is mean people around me. Adults who act like children in the sense of catty and gossipy. Im tired of seeing people who are mean seem to get by so easily while i keep my mouth shut out of trying to be mature. Im tired of people judging me without knkwing me. Im tired of being strong and being kind. But i dont have the heart to be mean. Mean is not me. When will i see justice for the wrongs in my life? When will the @sshole suffer for what he did to me? Most days im well but today i feel like crap. I feel like a used piece of garbage for everyone to stomp on then laugh as they watch my confidence deflate into thin air. Im tired of watching others seem to have it so easy. Im tired of not feeling as though i will ever be loved. I try to be positive. I try to work hard. I try to do thinhs that are healthy for me. Im just tired. Tired of injustice. . . . Tired of feeling misunderstood by people. . .


Then another part of me says. . . Its ok. Keep movin. Keep doing what your doing. Your strong. We can climb this mountain. Who cares what others think.


Another part of me hates people. Hates people looking at me it makes me feel like im being judged. This part of me hates people for being so selfish and inconsiderate. This part of me is angry at the world.

Another part of me enjoys people. Wants so badly to be loved. Wants to be successful but feels trapped. This part of me is eager to experience life. To experience love.

*song lyrics*

It Ain't Pretty (But It's Beautiful)

Driving home from work just yesterday
impatiently waiting for the light to change
I noticed a homeless mom and her two kids
She reached out and lifted up a trash can lid
Her face lit up when she looked inside
And pulled out a broken armless doll
knelt down and gave it to her smallest Child
And God you should have seen her smile


It ain't pretty, but it's beautiful
Life ain't perfect, but it's wonderful
We're all broken, but we're loveable
It ain't pretty, but it's beautiful

Got home and told my wife bout what I'd seen
She grabbed her purse, took me by the hand and said come with me
We drove around until we found the three of them
I wondered who was blessing who when they got in
We bought them food and clothes and drove them to a toy store
And the little girl said "I don't need a brand new doll"
as she hugged the broken armless one they found before
she said "this one needs me more"


She ain't pretty, but she's beautiful
She ain't perfect, but she's wonderful
She might be broken, but she's loveable
She ain't pretty, but she's beautiful


Last night my wife and I talked till the sun came up
About how we fuss and fight sometimes,
Say ugly things act so unkind
But we thank God we always find our way back to love

It ain't pretty, but it's beautiful
Our love ain't perfect, but it's wonderful
We're still learning to be loveable
It ain't pretty, but it's beautiful
We're all learning to be loveable
Ain't always pretty, but it's beautiful

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Thanks for that. It really does help put a better perspective on things!

-- Thu Sep 20, 2012 4:38 am --

Thanks for that. It really does help put a better perspective on things!