Driving

I have noticed increasingly that coming out of the T's office I will be very dissociated and then I have about a fifteen mile drive ahead of me. My biggest problem is that I don't realize how far gone I am much of the time and then
A) Get ridiculously lost and confused
B) Get confused and can't figure out how driving works
C) One of the Littles tries to come out and drive, C usually, and then gets upset when she doesn't know how the car works.

I don't know that the others realize how out of it I am, or if they are just as out of it from the therapy since I have more than one who can drive.
I have three potential drivers other than myself: Victor, Snow and Ellie.
Victor is the best at driving by far. He's the only one of us that can park backwards.
I doubt that Beverly would understand the workings of a car given her nature, and she's also so disconnected from everyone else that she probably would know neither where she was or where she wanted to go. Genesis is certainly old enough to drive, but it doesn't strike me as something she would be interested in doing. None of my teens are responsible enough to drive, and I don't want a four year-old or a ten year-old going for a joy ride.

I plan to speak with the T about how I'm concerned for our safety since I do think that she needs to spend more time helping me to get to a safe place after our work. I've mentioned to her a couple of times how I feel "spacey" or "googly" very often at a session but I don't think she realizes the extent to which it goes. Or maybe she does since one day as I walking out of her office she asked me to go take a walk before driving anywhere.

Anyway, suggestions or your own experiences would be welcomed.

I've lost time while driving, and it's scary. Luckily, I only hit a few garbage cans and no one was hurt, and I wasn't on a busy road, but the risk was there.

If I'm feeling out of it at all, I won't drive unless I absolutely have to. Even then I'll try to wait 30min to an hour before driving. I'll do things that might help me stick to reality, such as txting a friend, smoking a cigarette, walking around town, familiarizing myself with my car (such as going through how to drive, the rules of the road, etc), and listening to music I know won't be triggering, or at the very least only triggering to Kat since she's actually a better driver than me, haha.

If it's right after a session, on top of possibly having your T help you to stay "all there", try simply walking around outside for a bit. Don't get lost, just like walk around the block or walk straight up the street for a ways then back, something to help you stay connected to yourself and reality. Listen to select music that you know won't trigger you, try just sitting in your car (with the keys somewhere else like in your pocket), and relaxing before going through how to drive and then actually driving. Give yourself time to relax as much as possible so that your mind's able to focus. Also, try talking to yourself while driving. I remind myself outloud how to get home often, and it seems to help me stay in the moment and focus on driving.

Best of luck to you in working on this.

Hi,

I would really encourage that you do ask your therapist if there is some way she can help you to ground fully before starting the 15 mile journey home. I'm sure she will understand, see the risk, and do her best to think up a plan for the end of your sessions!

Bourbon

I'll talk to her.

I can take the back roads home if I have to, but I'd rather be aware no matter which way I go. I might hang a sign on my wheel or something before I go into therapy saying something along the lines of "Reality check - where are you?"

Is there somewhere close you can walk, get a cup of coffee and unwind before going home?

I have almost a 2 hour drive home after therapy, but usually a friend meets me right by my therapists office for lunch before I go home. Maybe that would work for you?

There's a grocery store and a gas station nearby, but her office is kind of in the middle of a field, so there's nothing close by. I've walked to the grocery store before and sometimes will try to do shopping after the fact, but I always end up with lots of candy if I try to shop that way. I might just wander the grocery store and not permit myself to buy anything.

hahah i laughed out loud at that! I have a candy issue since I work at a grocery store...and lol when you said your T's office is in the middle of a field I pictured her office as a barn with cows and $#%^.

sorry i know you didn't mean it to be funny but it made my day

Good point! I too buy junk food after a therapist appointment!

I am finally nailing down which part of me is eating/buying the junk. Perhaps this is a time we can work on that issue too! It's hard! I like to eat junk on the way home when no one is around!

LOL, Dividedtruth. That image made my days, and my T would probably be happy with that arrangement - she loves animals!

T: "Just lean against the cow and let yourself relax, Owly."
Cow: Mooooo?

I've found it helps to make sure I have a full stomach before my appointments. However, I don't drink a lot beforehand. That way if I want anything, I'm more inclined to get a soda versus a box or a bag of candy.