Ability to control the "expression" of alters

I have read where over time a person can get control over alters so that you (host) can control when certain alters come out. While my young alters wouldn't come out in an adult or work situation, I have no ability to control when various adult alters come out.

Can anyone comment on their ability to control the "expression" of alters? I'd appreciate hearing from you.

When I was in the early days if having DID I had no control over who came out. It used to be very embarassing. As time went on things slowly changed and I had at least a certain amount of control over who was out at the time. The closer I got to integration I noticed that I was out for the majority of time. As my alters could see that I could manage to do the things that I formerly needed their help for...the more and more I was out.

On the subject of integration...at first I pushed for it...and it did happen. But it came undone within a short period of time. Neither my alters nor myself were ready for it at that time. After that I let my alters just integrate spontaneously.

Kathy

I mean, how can you really think about controlling the "expression" and not over think. Make sense? Just focus on being. I think you might be doing a little comparing on how D.I.D am I, do I fit the parts lol..

I try to block them as much as I can, I don't want to be embarrassed, or bother my SO. Maybe that's why I don't many who will talk with me. I need to start letting them out but in a controlled environment until I get used to it and at least be co-conscious with them.

sweetngentle wrote:When I was in the early days if having DID I had no control over who came out. It used to be very embarassing. As time went on things slowly changed and I had at least a certain amount of control over who was out at the time. The closer I got to integration I noticed that I was out for the majority of time. As my alters could see that I could manage to do the things that I formerly needed their help for...the more and more I was out.



On the subject of integration...at first I pushed for it...and it did happen. But it came undone within a short period of time. Neither my alters nor myself were ready for it at that time. After that I let my alters just integrate spontaneously.



Kathy

This makes so much sense to me! I only discovered recently i have DID, but it's something I've known since long and I actually already have this. Not always, but a lot. And few days ago it felt like one of my alters deliberately wanted me to come back. It was so weird. Is it because she knows I can handle that situation??
And well a question, does integration mean that the alters will be gone? (Sorry it's all new to me)
Thanks anyway for that post

mermaidmo wrote:I have read where over time a person can get control over alters so that you (host) can control when certain alters come out. While my young alters wouldn't come out in an adult or work situation, I have no ability to control when various adult alters come out.

Can anyone comment on their ability to control the "expression" of alters? I'd appreciate hearing from you.

I don't control them per-say they make a conscious decision they don't want to come out. like when the adult is with the dreaded boyfriend the one that hates him says screw this. That doesn't mean the one that hates him doesn't constantly tell her why she hates him in the background since we're co-conscious. The little girl does but only if she can pretend to be an adult and a lot of times it is brief. The tomboy only comes out in self defense circumstances. It seems each part took a job.
Now there been uncontrollable switching but not to many ppl noticed the changes. And when they do they just label me crazy and leave me alone. The understanding ppl just shrug it off.

We have a system manager. He isn't a gatekeeper, but more one who keeps us running as smoothly and covertly as possible. He has been a huge help in developing communication. The more we more communicate with each other, the fewer random switches we have had. It also helps that I am making a conscious effort to not just fight off the switches anymore as there is probably a reason for them.

I homeschool, and this being the first year I am homeschooling and know about all the others we had an internal meeting to discuss it over the summer. It was decided that the homemaker/mother part and the intellectual part would be out to do the homeschooling. Also, the protector would find something else to do while I was working with the children on school. It has never been easier for me. I don't find myself getting so frustrated and angry at the smallest things and the children are a whole lot happier. And, all it took was a conversation and respectfully requesting that the protector not be out or near the front for a few hours each day.

It isn't perfect by far. Didn't think about preparing for a long weekend at a soccer tournament this weekend and the protector and children parts were both triggered during that time...that was very difficult for us. I think we totally pissed off the in-laws

Hi.

Well, in my experience, Christy (the littling) would take the gears whenever we felt pressure and would usually throw tantrums.
But nowadays, she only come forth whenever we play games or listen to children's music (Winnie the Pooh).
I don't know what made the difference. Perhaps it's because I've gotten accustomed to the idea of being one part of a whole being, and also because I know her better now.

Most of the other alters behave rather "docile" whenever they're in front so as to not arouse suspicion that we're not a singleton.
Except for Tatsuha. He happily chats away with his Finnish accent (our body/system is Swedish) and risk making people raise their eyebrows and wonder what our problem is.
He finds that extremly funny, though I fail to see what's funny about that. *sigh*
Unlike what Tatsuha says, I do have a sense of humor.

Ha! You wouldn't know a joke if it bit you in your....

Jeez...

Wish I could offer you advice, but I'm afraid I have little to contribute with.
Perhaps, it will get easier the more you get to know your alters and understand their emotions/needs.

I sometimes wonder if I force emotions on my alters but I can tell when an emotion is something an alter is truly feeling.

She does over manage our emotions but I think that's because she's trying to keep the peace in our system.

That's true. I try not to do that though.

Yes, to an extent, but not before - we've gotten here..

It has to do with co-consciousness. One alter can influence another alter by sharing thoughts or feelings. For example:
-Aiden numbs me a bit so that I can stay strong for J
-I can actually talk through little n, but cannot affect her mood or facial expression.

Talking to each other in our heads while another is fronting is huge for learning and teaching and changing and teamwork. Before the integrations there was a lot of internal commotion, with one alter saying something and various other alters reacting or responding in different ways… it was chaotic inside…