New alter... scares the crap outta me.

Ey there, so my name is David. I know there's another David kicking around somewhere on these forums, but whatever.

All I'm going to tell you about myself is that I'm here to watch Tommy's back. Tommy's my kid brother (in a sense). He's an extra f*kn cool kid but he's really quiet and easily frightened. When he finds something that he doesn't wanna be around he comes and gets me.

That's where some problems started coming in. I've had trouble not dissocating. But whatever, its better in the end. At least I'm saving Tommys ass.

Anyways, we've all been writing a lot lately. We tried an integration but it unravelled fast. Sam, James, and Grant all f*cked off. Grant can go f*ck himself. He's a goddamned prick. He used to be the only other one that still dissocated, then Sam and James started being all nice to him and he went off with them. Sometimes I'm glad that their integration fell apart. They left me and Tommy out of it because we 'weren't ready.' Pretentious f*cks.
I'm trying to tell them that they CANT IGNORE US. If they try we'll ###$ them up royally. They don't know how much control we actually have. And I have a feeling that Tommy is a kid that you do NOT want to piss off.
Speaking of control, I've had a lot of it lately. Even when I don't want it. Like, socially. I don't want to socialize when I'm f*cking angry at everything. Let one of the more stable ones deal with it. Even Grant.

At least the Self (quicksilver) is making plans. He's trying to find something that Tommy can work on. Tommy's been itching to play. Its all he wants to do. He's been thinking of enrolling me in a Muy Thai class so I can get out my frustration. so at least there's that.

I'm going to stop beating around the bush. Tommy mentioned that a new alter told him something. I can't remember what exactly this new alter had said to him, but the curious thing is that it was a female. The only girl alter I know of is Naiomi, that twisted bitch. And I don't mind calling her a twisted bitch because she likes it. She likes being hurt. All she does is scream and laugh. I'm only going to let her out for kinky sex.
But I don't think this one was Naiomi. (key word - THINK)
This one calls herself the Caretaker....

She scared the bejesus out of me. I don't think I've ever been that afraid. I'm the tough one. It took me a few minutes for my balls to drop back down so I could look this crazy bitch in the face.
She had black hair that was kind of stringy, and it was EVERYWHERE. What scared me most though were her eyes... they were dark as coal....
She wore a white dress, her skin was kind of discoloured. She was pushing a baby stroller. And trust me, there is nothing creepier than a chick looking like a demon corpse pushing a baby stroller.
I can try to ask Naiomi if it was her, but all I get out of her is laughter and craziness. If she told me it wasn't, I don't know if I could believe her.

Right now I can kind of look back at that (she showed up like half an hour ago) and laugh. Its different when she's up in your face though. I HOPE that she was just Naiomi playing some twisted joke. And not some next alter. Because I have a feeling that if something that terrifying took control, I wouldn't be able to handle it. It feels as though that's a line I do NOT wanna cross. The feeling she gave off was so overwhelming. I don't think in her world there is room for co-conciousness. I feel as though it would be the end of me. I think she would want to do things that we do NOT want to do.
But then again I have some issues with being done off with, the same reason I'm afraid of integration. I was made to survive.

-dave

she's kind of hanging around the edges. maybe because i can't get my mind off her.

curiousity draws me in....


the problem is that the self is concerened about control.
he wrote,
"the real danger is that other parts take control. sometimes i don't even realize when I've been pushed into the passenger seat."

This chick is kinda just lingering. She feels like pins and needles in my mind. I can't ignore it. I'm more likely than not going to let her take over for a little bit. I need to talk to the others first though, and make sure we're all ready to pull her back in if need be.
Time to put aside differences right now, for the good of the system.


this comes at a really bad time though. i was just considering letting tommy out to play more. he needs to get out on his own, out from under my wing so that he can mature and grow. oh well. it'll happen sooner or later





-dave

New alters can be a pain in the ass if they're not introduced right. You need to find this chick quickly and give her the low down. Tell her the rules and make sure she's on your team. ###$ around too long and she might start getting ideas on her own and they're not always good.

And there are god only knows how many people on this forum, David is a pretty common name, odds are there are a few David's around here, not just you and my brother. It doesn't really matter, the real confusion comes from all the alters under the same username. James.

well, i've talked to grant. we're going to go see what the deal is. sam and james won't be coming with us. grant and i are the only ones who can do it. we're both scared. but we need to find out what this chick is doing talking to tommy. i'm in control, which im really apprehensive about. what if im not strong enough? i hate to say it, but grant is more stable than i am. i wish he could lead this thing.
but i've gotta do it, i need to stop procrastinating and making excuses. we're going to try and pull her back if things get out of control.
into the rabbit hole....

Strength in numbers. If you find her and she needs to be dealt with you can used the combined strength of you and the other alters. Make sure if it comes to that, that you have somewhere to put her, you don't want to be sitting on her for too long, it takes a lot out of you. James.

hi, i'm melissa
sorry for the scare

i've talked to dave and grant, and they were very nice to me. dave introduced them both to me and he was really nice and he gave me a hug. he didn't judge me and when i asked him if he was scared of me, he smiled and said that i could be 'intimidating.' grant didnt really say much but he smiled and wasnt mean

i didn't mean to scare anyone and i do know tommy, we're both the younger alters, and tommy is my best friend
i'm 6 and he's 7
i dont' know why but sometimes i like to dress up like a scary lady and scare people, i guess because then they will go away, but when david hugged me my costume melted off... i like david

Wow, whatttt a relief. I thought that was going to be the end of my world, but instead I meet a sweet little girl. She's Tommy's friend too, which is great. Now Tommy can get out from under the wing a bit. I won't have to worry about him as much... he can grow up a bit more.

Grant didn't say anything throughout, which I was grateful for. I felt that this was MY test. He was there with a reassuring look when I didn't know what to do next, and we got through it. He's an alright dude. He gave me good advice, just to show her some love. Anger feeds on anger. And if he hadn't told me to show some love instead, that situation may have gone south, very quickly.

I'm going to try to get rid of my anger, a bit at a time. Maybe in time Grant and the rest of us in here can co-habitate and get along like friends.


-dave

Hi Melissa, I'm glad you're not a scary alter, we have enough of those here. It's okay to dress up but try not to scare your fellow alters, it makes thinkgs kind of difficult when you do that. James.

so, i'm just checking in.

i know that tommy and david seem to be willing to give this girl the benefit of the doubt, but fact is, she still sketches me out. she's still dressing up like a demonic corpse... and she's hanging around with tommy. there's something slightly disconcerting about seeing a little kid going around playing with someone like that. and i have a bugging suspicion that the older version of her may be her real form... and she's just playing on david's protective instincts. or maybe my paranoia is just getting the best of me
either way, i dont know what she's all about. gonna keep my guard up while i can
-grant

N's original form was not human, some sort of winged creature with long dark spikes protruding from her body
(to make her anger and pain make more sense),
but she's really a gothic, beautiful depressed/sullen teenager that took on the form to make her feel more in control.
and C she takes on the form of a cat during the nighttime because it makes her feel safer to see in the dark
and have protective claws, but she's really a tiny little girl terrified of being alone in the dark.
I'm not too sure as to why she's so afraid of the dark yet, or why she split off. But she's so cute and cuddly, as
long as you don't back her into a corner!
(At least I think she's a little girl, she could really be a cat for all I know!)

It could be that Melissa is really a little girl who puts on a disguise to protect herself.
Until you're sure, it's good to keep your guard up a little bit.

Be sure to show lots of unconditional love, it's what we all love best, whether or not we know what to do with it
at the time.

Alters usually appear much scarier than they actually are, we're all hurting inside.