Hello

Hello,
I'm new to this, the forums and DID.
I have a great T finally but I am still feeling very isolated with all this. I feel I have to hide all the time, except with my T or when I am all alone, then I can let others out.
Part of the issue for me at the moment is finding language for how things are inside. I seem to have some kind of non-verbal communication going on, but to try to say it out loud or to my T and it all goes haywire. Not to mention I am afraid of the things I only feel, but have no words for. My inside order feels very disordered, actually, and that is scary/difficult for me.

Thanks for reading.

Hi asthecrowflies,

Its great that you have a T you are happy with. Its also good that you have found this forum as it's a great place to give your inner world a chance to speak aloud amongst those who understand. The best thing to do for gaining board speak is to read other posts and familiarise yourself with other members who have a similar story to yourself.

Hi--

Hearing you. It is a bit mind-bending to come to terms with the diagnosis. A lot of times emotions are a primary way that insiders communicate. It can be a challenge, especially at first, to find out what the feelings are meaning or pointing to.

I hope reading and talking here help!

Caeri

Hi,

I am new to forums, too. What you wrote really resonates with me- the isolation, internal disorder, struggle to find words. There's some relief in finding this place because it shows we're (sadly) not alone. I hope you feel some relief too.

twish

Caeri & friendtoall,
thanks for the replies. I do feel overwhelmed by the diagnosis. Just posting here once has actually opened up some things for me. That feels good, it feels better to try to work with my inside people rather than always trying to push them away.

I have read a few threads so far, but there is a lot here. I need to take it slowly.

atcf

Hi asthecrowflies,

I'm glad you've finally found a great T.

As I just said in another post to you, I wish you didn't feel you have to hide. Hopefully, here you won't feel you have to.

asthecrowflies wrote:Part of the issue for me at the moment is finding language for how things are inside. I seem to have some kind of non-verbal communication going on, but to try to say it out loud or to my T and it all goes haywire. Not to mention I am afraid of the things I only feel, but have no words for. My inside order feels very disordered, actually, and that is scary/difficult for me.

Humm... Non-verbal... I remember once I was relating an experience to my therapist. I was telling her how I had this burning feeling within my right side of my chest and upper shoulder. I couldn't put too many words into it.

That day we didn't work on verbalizing, but rather trying to heal and have ways to deal with this sensation (if found again) through body movement.

So maybe some non-verbal things can be manage non-verbally.

When reading about DID I've also learnt that some things were assimilated by the body, even before it had learnt any language, so somethings are difficult to verbalize. Again, maybe non-verbal things could work again.

Wish you a great healing process.

Sea

Seangel,
Hi.
Good suggestions, trying to work through movement to understand sensations. This is a hard one for me because I know it helps yet I have had it work too well, at times.
I was in a karate class 20 years ago and all that movement and physicality flipped me into a "weird" state, which I am still trying to come to terms with. It knocked me out of my habitual numbness but was too much information for me to process in so short a time. In the long run it seems to have been the start of my system figuring out just what is going on, still it was not pleasant.

I think gentle yoga or tai chi might be okay now. I still have trouble with others touch though, so any massage or like that is a no go.

--korvin

asthecrowflies wrote:This is a hard one for me because I know it helps yet I have had it work too well, at times.

Totally. Too much info in a short time can be overwhelming.

Yoga and Tai Chi sounds really good.

In addition, you could have a look at some movement therapy. A friend who is a psychologist and has worked a lot with trauma, works with psychosomatic therapy and continuos movement. I believe none of those involve anyone touching you.

Haven't read or worked too much into it, but you could see if that suits you.

Sea