Homicidal Alter

One of the alters in our system, B, communicates only by showing us what he’s thinking or wants to do. He also happens to be homicidal, psychotic, and extremely disturbed. He is constantly showing us visions of burning down buildings, hurting people, killing people, etc. Not only does whoever is fronting see this, but they feel his overwhelming urge to go through with these thoughts. It's getting to be impossible to cope with, and I'm worried he's going to come out and do something terrible. I don't want to tell the doctors at the hospital, because I think they'll just want to force us to integrate again the moment they hear that the alters are causing me trouble. Has anyone dealt with anything similar? Any advice?

We had someone who had similar urges quite a few years back. For him, we realized that the thoughts boiled down to him really wanting to get us away from our abusive situation(s) and he felt the only way that would ever be possible was if our tormenters died. Needless to say, talking about the repercussions of the actions helped reduce the likelihood of him ever acting on the urges, but he had those thoughts for a long time, even after we managed to escape the worst of the situations.

Keep a reminder (list or word document) of what happens when someone assaults/harms another person (legal repercussions, being arrested or placed in treatment faculty, what happens in said faculties). That dose of reality seemed to help us a lot.
He still has violent thoughts on occasion, but we know now that no matter how tempting it might be, it is never worth the repercussions, so instead, he'll play out scenario 'videos' or play a violent video game to take out the urges in a safe way.

-- Tue Oct 29, 2013 3:43 pm --

im sad that you guys can't rely on the health care system to go about helping you in an ethical and actually healing way. it might be worth looking into a hospital or treatment center that specializes in DID and trauma for doctors that actually understand that you can't force an integration, or any type of healing for that matter.

Thank you very much for your response.

The list of repercussions was extremely useful when Z, our psychopath, had intentions to murder or torture others, because he does not like the idea of jail. However, with B, he cares so little about what will happen to us after he goes through with his urges that it wouldn't make any difference to him. I told the doctors, and they haven't told me anything about it yet, which worries me.

We are looking into somewhere specialized in DID, though it's more difficult than I had expected. We live in Canada, and there are almost no places that do inpatient DID treatment here. We're considering looking into flying out to somewhere in the States, but we'd need our parents' support.

we live in canada too. I understand. Finding treatment centers that are good are really hard.

-- Tue Oct 29, 2013 6:29 pm --

If just a few of you understand repercussions, it might be enough to prevent an incident from happening?

Yeah... It's looking like going to the States is the only option, but my family can't really afford it, and I can't ask that of them.

We're hoping that you're right, and it will be enough to stop B from acting on his thoughts. It just seems to be getting more and more difficult.

When our more aggressive and disturbed alters front, at least one of us tries to remain co-conscious or at the very least co-aware with them. We lock the body in our room so that they are not able to wreak havoc.

Depending on the level of awareness you all have within your system, this may be a viable option. Our system also has a 'buddy system' set up, where those who are out are often out in pairs, either both in the body or one fronting, the other in the background guiding and providing support/company. This partnering system helps reduce instances of destruction to personal (or public) property and injury to the self or others.

The buddy system is definitely something that I think we can manage. Thank you! B tends to be a very powerful alter, because he can take control of the body in two seconds and not give it back. Not only that, but it's almost always a complete dissociation, so I don't remember anything he did after. But now that we have Calypso, things might change; she takes control when the system is incapable of functioning, and she's more than strong enough to stay co-conscious with him and stop him from doing anything.

I really liked your advice familyof3. It helped me too.

Fourhearts, I don't have any good advice but I want you to know you're not alone in your struggle. Good luck to you. I'm interested in hearing how things go with this part of you

I thought I was the only one with that kind of alter and the way it communicates! I kind of relieved that it's not me feeling homicidal like that, per se. I wish I had advice, but I'm with you. I'm at a loss too. I do like the consequences idea. Our worst consequence is being hospitalized for a long time again. So far, I haven't heard from the homicidal alter ever since leaving the hospital (2 weeks).

Hi there! I hate to resurrect a dead thread, but I just wanted to update everyone who was curious about what happened. B actually started talking to us, and he's much more cooperative now that he's speaking. He still shows me homicidal visions and fantasies and is almost uncontrollable (now more than ever because almost everyone else is dormant), but it helps to be able to communicate with him.