drinking alter needs help

I need advice. My T helps the best she can but...?
I have a few alters who could be called alcoholics. About a year ago I started going to AA meetings upon the advice of my T. I struggled for a long time and finally I was able to get control of the problem.
But today I went to pick up some things for dinner and got stuck in the liquor isle. I literally could not move. I felt myself switching and was fighting it. This alter kept saying "you don't have a problem, "they" are all wrong and this bottle will make the memories go away. It's the only way for us to get better" After about 40 minutes standing there talking to myself I left the store (without alcohol) feeling shaky and sick and now I have a migraine.

I don't even know what i'm wanting here. I just know that the people in AA don't know I have DID and no one in my DID support group has a drinking problem so I feel all alone and i'm very scared. I don't want to go back to the way I was. I'm finally getting the help I need and it's slowly working, i'm healing.

Does anyone have any advice? Am I just hopeless? What if I never "get it" and never heal?

It is very common for people with DID to have a dual diagnosis, I know several on this forum who do. I personally don't struggle with substance abuse but I just wanted to say that you can and will get this, but part of that will have to be including the parts of you that drink in therapy and helping them heal. Just healing one part when several are in deep need won't work.

Do you have a therapist that addresses all of yours needs?

I'm thinking of you.
Stay strong.

Thank you, you're always so supportive.
My T says basically what you did. "Everyone inside needs to be ready to stop drinking" and "not everyone is ready at the same time" and "we need to be patient and loving"
I just got overwhelmed today. The feeling of stopping myself from switching wore me out mentally and physically.
Aside from my headache I feel better now. Thanks again.

Thank you

That's good advice from your therapist. We all heal at different paces, even inside the same person - I've seen this with some of my own behaviors as well.

It's okay to be overwhelmed. I'm sorry you had a rough day though.

I know what you are going through. I have a couple of alcoholics and one is currently sober and working her butt off in therapy and the other one...not so much. IN FACT she showed up literally falling down drunk at therapy and T was pretty mad. Next day T made her apologize to her and made her look at her while apologizing. She said it is time to face the fact she is giving them power amd to release shame. I don't know what to do with this part but I can totally relate. So glad I'm not tbe only one struggling with this!!! All my parts have their own issues and there's a reason this one doesn't want to stay sober. You will get there. Hang in there!!

I don't think you need to be sorry for coming drunk, that part of you just didn't know how else to come to therapy. Why? because they drink. Looks to me like that part of you was reaching out.

I failed, I drank. I don't feel guilty, I just know I have to keep trying and keep telling inside I survived the abuse I know I can get through the recovery.

Being dual diagnosed is dual confusselating.

Being dual diagnosed is dual confusselating.

I'd sure imagine.

You're doing as best you can and you seem to have a lot of insight into your behaviors and thoughts which is a huge things when reaching for recovery.

Thinking of you.

Our T was mad but she handled it real well. Yesterday she told her she wants her to quit killing herself. Last night was first time in a week she hasn't gotten drunk. We're cheering her on. She is scared of doing her work in therapy. It's hard work! But it can be done. I know because I used to drink all the time and I had to face reality but it sucks BAD. I didn't used to feel guilty about it either but now when I drink I feel disappointed in me. It took me a long time to get there. All I heard was everyone saying "tyler keeps drinking and she's keeping the rest of us from healing!" Blah blah blah. But now with Jen drinking I know how they felt.
Proud of you for being honest about it! Tyler

It sounds like you're making great progress

I am a useless, horible bad person.
TRIGGER WARNING
just in case.

I kept telling myself don't go get alcohol! Just go home! But I couldn't, I had no control and it doesn't make sense but I couldn't control what I was doing. Even now I am mad that I am drinking but I keep pouring more. My SO is so mad at me. He doesn't get DID. He wont sayhe still lovesme.

I'm a wreck. What am I going to do? I was doing so good and then this memory came and I lost it.

Maybe I am hopless and this is my life. I don't know how to communicate with this part of me. She is hurting so bad. All she wants to do is drink.

All I want to do is drink so just leave me alone.