A step closer to cohesion

Ello,

Until recently I've been trying to understand the other parts in me that I have split from.

I have made no attempt to understand myself though. In fact I have no sense of self at all.

As a child I identified with my mum and dad, despite the terrible things they did, I thought they were great. It got to the point could not console myself, and the conflict between my love for them and their treatment of me. After a particular experience, my only strategy was to disidentify from myself, to disown and seperate myself.

Anyhow... What's this post about? Well - I have found it extremely helpful to digest experiences like these, the split from another self, as a product of my own experience rather than as someone else's experience.

It's almost ironic - all this time I've been worried about listening to and understanding my other selves - actually I can understand them much better now for having explored my own self (or lack thereof).

I dunno if this makes sense to any of you at all

Anyhow thanks for reading

No I've always known myself but have had to do a lot of rejecting my own needs to get other [separated/split] needs met, which can only be achieved through denying yourself to some extent until you can bring things into a position where some level of cohesion is possible.

[quote="another-place"] I have found it extremely helpful to digest experiences like these, the split from another self, as a product of my own experience rather than as someone else's experience.

I understand what you mean. It took my host along time to accept that the events my alters remember were events that actually happened to her/me/us. I go back and forth with this realization. It's hard for the host to accept that she is only a part too. She keeps wanting to believe that bad things happened to "them" and she had a good happy life.

Good luck to you on your journey

 

I have found it extremely helpful to digest experiences like these, the split from another self, as a product of my own experience rather than as someone else's experience.

I understand what you mean. It took my host along time to accept that the events my alters remember were events that actually happened to her/me/us. I go back and forth with this realization. It's hard for the host to accept that she is only a part too. She keeps wanting to believe that bad things happened to "them" and she had a good happy life.

We are working on weaving the alter stories into our(host) story - I'm still a little stuck with this as I hear what they say happened or bits and pieces and it still feels like them and not me. When I say what they say to me out loud or in my head it 's still foreign and seems like lies...none the less like you I am moving toward acceptance and trying to process the events as my own experience - I even made a list : "things I say/hear that I don't believe " and it's this list that I am exploring as I try to widen the scope of my (host) story.

Thanks for posting. Very helpful thoughts.

Xxxooo