Triggers? Or just randomness?

I think most of us are finally starting to accept that the DID actually exists. We're also starting to figure out some things about our system. I guess it annoys us that it's all going so incredibly slow, but it IS progress.

My question is, how can I keep a protector from taking over(/how can I take it back over from him), even though the collective does feel unsafe and threatened in that situation? I wouldn't say that I personally feel threatened, cause knowing that a Male alter is going about my (new) 'Job' is a much bigger threat to me than having to be in the situation is.
We believe that this switching thing is most probably biologically based, are we right to assume that?
I can't blame him for taking over, even though I am kind of scared and ashamed of it, since all of us are very obviously different. To me this seems like an extra good motivation to get back to the surface and do my thing, but we can't seem to do it.
Sometimes it seems like he blames me for not being there. I can't help it. He is just so strong and I know he can't seem to help it either. But I think we search for blame so we can remove the problem, but there's no blame it's just the commands that our brain gives? Why does my brain give the command to switch him out when situation is meant to be mine? Isn't "my" situation, a trigger for ME to come out instead of for him? Sometimes it is, but then it isn't.

He tried to switch with me for over 4 hours, but he didn't succeed even finding me, causing him to have to be out for me which is very uncomfortable for him and boring cause he doesn't like to do my hobby. He even made a mess cause he was rebellious about having to do certain things cause he thinks we'll fail. He might even be right if we can't control this switching which worries me. I don't want to run away from everything, I want to be able to handle this. He was about to quit entirely.
He said he couldn't find me, and I was not even aware of 'being' at that time. I don't know why.
I want to be out, I want to take this 'role' of hosting back. I was host before the awareness-crash too and he's exhausted and doesn't want to host anymore.

I want to know how it's possible that sometimes, well most of the time, we just are out, for no reason, and we can't seem to change that at all. He tried to wear my clothes, walk like me( ), tried to think my thoughts, visualized me, called me, anything, It was just Not Working. I was only back 3 days after he gave up. We don't know why it took me so long. So then I was happy cause I thought I could at least this time go to the situation myself cause I really like it, but again it happened. It doesn't happen all the time so we don't get it. It really seems like whoever is out is going to have to deal with whatever we're supposed to do? That will never work.

There might be so many things that influence this, how could we ever figure it out? Even things like the weather or the time of day, or the presence or absence of one ext. person could make a difference, we can't control the weather etc? So discouraging. We thought that by making the decision that I would take back hosting, that we were making progress, but I don't know if it is if I can't seem to handle it good enough.
We always think that we finally got it if one of the 'adult' females are on front for a while, like me or the other 2 J's. But it never seems to stick for long.

Thanks for reading, J(JCEL).

TheCollective wrote:I think most of us are finally starting to accept that the DID actually exists. We're also starting to figure out some things about our system. I guess it annoys us that it's all going so incredibly slow, but it IS progress.

My question is, how can I keep a protector from taking over(/how can I take it back over from him), even though the collective does feel unsafe and threatened in that situation? I wouldn't say that I personally feel threatened, cause knowing that a Male alter is going about my (new) 'Job' is a much bigger threat to me than having to be in the situation is.

Hello there - I can't really help but wanted to say that it takes a while to figure out what triggers someone to come out or stay inside. My Pro is triggered by high stress so in hi stress it's very difficult to keep him inside but what I can do is try to get everyone working together. As I gained co consciousness it became easier. My observer acts like a detective trying to make sense of what we do. I do a lot of journaling and take a lot of notes- sometimes you start to see trends.

Best of luck in sorting this out - xxxooo