Questions On Flashbacks

I am not quite sure how to begin this... I have been witness to other people's flashbacks (outside of our system), and often times, they report get significant clips of information. When I get a flashback, I get a 1-5 second clip of often one action, or even part of an action, instead of of the traumatic event itself.

*Trigger Warning - specific examples*
In some, someone will place a hand on me and I will feel a flash of emotion. In others, I see a face, or feel a texture, or a part of an action is performed.
*Trigger Warning End*

It is so fleeting and relatively inconclusive by itself, yet these flashes shake me up horribly. I have been attempting to write down what I am able of these clips, and put together they are often choppy and out of order. I suspect the clips are of multiple occurrences as the body is older or younger depending on the clip, and sometimes setting is different.

I am not sure why these flashbacks are so fragmented. I am pretty sure they are mine (why else would I be the one getting them?) Is it common to get these 'mini' flashbacks or are most of them longer in length showing more of said event? I am rather confused about this and do not have the courage to talk about this in therapy.

I apologize if this is vague. I am having a hard time talking about this topic.

adding a little bit: is it possible to get other alter's flashbacks?

Yeah I've never tended to get big long action replays of info. Only ever had that kind of thing once. Other times I try to get stuff out its more random stuff that comes up like feeling sick or like I'm in a moving vehicle or other examples though I won't choose to post details. Although my problems are clearly caused by "trauma" I don't generally qualify for "PTSD" in the usual sense.

In DID if one person has trauma related experiences and others don't, that's because alters are created to deal with trauma.

Familyof3 wrote:I have been witness to other people's flashbacks (outside of our system), and often times, they report get significant clips of information.

I was not very clear on this. By significant I meant more that they are able to describe a scene that has more than one action involved. It came of as though I meant getting a large chunk of the event.
Language skills are not the greatest at the moment.

I'm not sure how much my personal experience relates to this or not. I often get deja-vus, but they're typically of a specific nature: it's me suddenly having my consciousness filled with glimpses of abstract things that I can't see or name, then "remembering" my own sequence of thoughts starting with the indecipherable glimpses, then "remembering" myself having remembered it all before, and then "remembering" myself returning to my senses. It feels like I'm really remembering something, but since it can't reach my mind, I feel like I'm remembering whatever comes to my mind instead.

I still don't know if it's all just inconsequential "brain farts", of it's really parts of me shocking myself into remembering something but then failing at it. No palpable memory of those cryptic glimpses are left after the deja-vu is gone. The other day I was talking to someone else when I had one of these short episodes, and they asked me what the glimpses were about. All I could say was "I don't know. Something like a letter B and a ninety degree angle, and other meaningless things of that kind", and it comes along with a feeling that I can't name or rate as positive or negative. So if it's really parts of a memory of some kind, it's not recognizable as such.

Familyof3 wrote:and do not have the courage to talk about this in therapy.

Only you can tell if or when you're ready or not, of course, but I'm sure your therapist would be glad to have that kind of opportunity to gently approach difficult subjects through your own glimpses.

adding a little bit: is it possible to get other alter's flashbacks?

As far as I know, any flashback is actually more likely to come from another alter (or from another part that never developed an identity of its own, in the case of systems or conditions other than "full DID"), and is also likely to be related to the very reason why that alter or that part split into an entity of its own.

Hi Familyof3, I think the reason we get just clips of memories is because they are from different alters.
Just recently I had what I would call a terrible experience but my T called it healing. 4 of my alters shared their memories at the same time. What used to come in clips came in a full memory from beginning to end. It literally brought me to my knees. Thank heaven I was at home.
I thought those parts of me had integrated but my T said my memory of that event integrated. Somehow my mind knew I was strong enough to handle a memory like that. I am confident that yours will too. Writing it down no matter how small or distant the clip is will be helpful in recovering your memories. At least it has been for me.
I hope this helps, good luck.

When we started getting flashbacks they were 1-2 second 'flashes' of 100% detail, as if we were there (I would completely lose contact with the present time and place while ninchen/jane/Aiden would re-live it [I am always watching/aware of what's going on i.e. DDNOS]). Over time these flashes became a bit longer, but the longest is still less than 10 seconds, maybe closer to 5 (we would 'disappear' then I'm pretty sure - 5-10 seconds was all any of us could tolerate). With all of the flashes, we have been able to piece them together like a time-line puzzle, saying 'this must have come first'.

You will never feel ready to talk about it, no matter how long you wait/build trust (in my experience the trust is built when/after we take risks like telling our T things we're not ready to say, but are willing and able to try to say it anyways - not before). You only have to be willing to try, (which requires basic grounding skills, being generally stable first). There are also other things like EMDR and EFT (didn't work for us), or play therapy (for younger littles; I've never done it), that don't require talking.

It took us two years to get out about two nights of memories/flashes at the most basic level (after being unable to for 15 years); we are still working on them in more depth now (will likely be more than another 2 years).

But we no longer have dissociative flashbacks (where we lost contact with the present time/place). And when we do have flashbacks they are SO MUCH easier to recover from. Usually they are just awful memories now. I know how to comfort the littles now when they're flashing back, even if I don't know what they're re-experiencing.

Trauma work is likely the hardest thing we've ever done, but in the end the rewards have been greater than the effort/etc we put in. We can live life now . I wish the same for you guys..

Trigger Warning:


These exact same things were what sent me into the hospital.

I started getting fragmented mini flashbacks of me holding weapons and having suicidal ideations with them. Just really REALLY negative feelings. Very strong emotions that went along with them.

They were choppy and small as well.

Sometimes It was like I was reliving the event. Other times, it was more of just a memory of me looking at myself from the outside, and other times they were just very very fragmented small clips of memories just like you're describing.

Cool to know i'm not alone in experiencing this. It was harrowing and made me afraid that I had possibly hurt someone.