Disappointed. Opinions?

This is not at all okay. I find that mirror (by telling) people what they did can help sometimes.

I tell them that DID is made up by having parts of you that you have felt unable to be present for. That this has been reinforced through a number of reasons, maybe even that in that state people have treated you horribly. Why would it help one to heal, by continuing abuse of this part of yourself? If anyone wants to talk about integration and tells me to ignore these parts of me or treats these parts of me badly, I tend to tell them this and ask them how these parts of me would ever want to be more active in the life we have now or would want to integrate, if their time out means being abused or treated unkindly? It doesn't make sense. No matter what theory one subscribes to, these are real parts of your real self and they deserve kindness and respect.

I'm so sorry you experienced being treated this way. You don't deserve it and this person seems quite toxic. I would say, you might benefit from setting some boundaries with this person - be it to exclude them from your life, or excluse behavior you find inappropriate.

Again, I am so very sorry Safe hugs if wanted.

How horrible. I'm so sorry.

I have a friend, who treated me really differently after she just found out about us. It took a long time before she got used to it. She had her doubts and I'm sure she's thought I'm crazy, but never ever has she been this horrible to any of us in our face. I don't think I would be able to stay friends with her if she had.

I am soo pissed at reading what happened...
I am very sorry Michael was treated this way and NO you 're NOT overreacting. This was horrible and just down right mean.
Hugs if ok )

This friend is not only not a safe person for you, she is deceitful and actively abusive, even dangerous to you. I would cut her off immediately. I would make a police report about her assault.

I'm in complete agreement with Una. Was raging about this all morning. I don't believe she should be allowed time to understand what's going on - she needs educating, for sure, but her actions were abusive and deceptive. She acted when she thought that you might not be aware of her abuse and that apology is not sincere - she was annoyed that you knew about what she had done. You are worth more than maintaining a relationship with someone who has the capacity to treat someone -anyone- as if they shouldn't be alive. NO ONE has the right to speak to anyone like this, let alone physically attack them.

Thank you all so, so much. The fact that so many people responded so kindly brought me to tears. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really appreciate it, we all do. This forum is so extremely supportive and wonderful, it's really amazing.

LastStatement wrote:I totally understand what you mean. I think it's really great that you know what is best for you right now. That can be a hard thing to admit, you've done a great job! I felt the exact same thing a couple months ago. Every day for weeks I was thwarting suicidal idealization and attempts. I still have not figured out who it is, but I was so desperate for help I was considering doing something really bad to at least get myself arrested or something, just so somebody could keep me safe. But in my situation, I was not able to get myself anywhere. So I had to do it on my own, and it really weakened me in every way. So I am very hopeful that this works out for you.

I am so sorry to hear that you had to deal with that all alone. Just like you offered to listen to me, I am always here to listen to you when you want or need to talk. I don't want you to be alone through something like that, or at all. And thank you for that.

LastStatement wrote:Oh, I see. Maybe she's having a hard time dealing with it? When you say she's blaming them for your instability, if I break that down, it sounds to me like she actually really cares for you. She probably hates seeing you in an unstable state.

She definitely needs to be talked to. Make sure it's a time when you or her don't have anything going on, so nobody feels rushed. Hopefully she has an understanding heart.

I could tell straight away that you did nothing wrong. I can also already tell how kind you are.

I know she really cares, it's just sad to see that she's showing it this way. I'm hoping that when I get out of inpatient, her and I will both be in a place where we can talk calmly about this. Maybe she'll visit me while I'm in there so that we can talk and I'll be in a safe place in case it goes badly.

Thank you so much for saying that. I really appreciate it.

skin wrote:Holy crap, I am enraged reading this. Wow, someone in here (or several) is absolutely disgusted. She is NOT your friend. She didn't bully and hit someone else, she did it to YOU. Those parts are YOU. She doesn't deserve your friendship and frankly acting like that to anyone at all is downright vile. There's no excuse for it. Respect yourself because she clearly doesn't and stay away from her.

You're right. Thank you. It's just hard, because she's been so good to me in the past and it's so surprising and hurtful that she just went and did this.

H-Black wrote:Agree with LastStatement. I didn't think you did anything wrong. You have no blame at all for what happened. Your friend acted in a terrible way (I was pretty pissed off while reading, and I know I wasn't the only one).

Now, I took a minutes to calm down, and yeah, probably she doesn't understand completely what it is, how what she has done, can (and did) affect you as well.

Anyway, you should talk about it more, not necessarily right now, because I think you could feel uneasy with all these situation... But at least you could give her some links about DID, so she can educate herself and then you could talk more easily about what she did, how that was wrong, and how she could be really supportive to you instead of repeating such thing as that.

Hope you could feel better soon -offers hug-. Maybe I'm new at this forum, but I'm willing to help in any way I can. :3

Thank you. Yeah, I'm thinking about sending her a message before I go into the hospital, so that I can inform her of how I feel and the alters feel without being influenced, while unstable, by her response. Thank you again. -hugs- c:

lifelongthing wrote:This is not at all okay. I find that mirror (by telling) people what they did can help sometimes.

I tell them that DID is made up by having parts of you that you have felt unable to be present for. That this has been reinforced through a number of reasons, maybe even that in that state people have treated you horribly. Why would it help one to heal, by continuing abuse of this part of yourself? If anyone wants to talk about integration and tells me to ignore these parts of me or treats these parts of me badly, I tend to tell them this and ask them how these parts of me would ever want to be more active in the life we have now or would want to integrate, if their time out means being abused or treated unkindly? It doesn't make sense. No matter what theory one subscribes to, these are real parts of your real self and they deserve kindness and respect.

I'm so sorry you experienced being treated this way. You don't deserve it and this person seems quite toxic. I would say, you might benefit from setting some boundaries with this person - be it to exclude them from your life, or excluse behavior you find inappropriate.

Again, I am so very sorry Safe hugs if wanted.

Exactly! That's exactly what I was trying to figure out how to say. Thank you so much. I couldn't find the right way to explain that to her. She needs to realize that abusing them isn't going to make them go away, it's just going to make everything worse.

Thank you. I am definitely going to start setting some boundaries with her. Thanks again.

TheCollective wrote:How horrible. I'm so sorry.

I have a friend, who treated me really differently after she just found out about us. It took a long time before she got used to it. She had her doubts and I'm sure she's thought I'm crazy, but never ever has she been this horrible to any of us in our face. I don't think I would be able to stay friends with her if she had.

I'm really sorry that that happened to you. It's so hard when you tell someone what's going on with you and you need them to be supportive, and they're the exact opposite.

VanessaG wrote:I am soo pissed at reading what happened...
I am very sorry Michael was treated this way and NO you 're NOT overreacting. This was horrible and just down right mean.
Hugs if ok )

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that you think I'm not overreacting. It was... Thank you. c:

skin wrote:I'm in complete agreement with Una. Was raging about this all morning. I don't believe she should be allowed time to understand what's going on - she needs educating, for sure, but her actions were abusive and deceptive. She acted when she thought that you might not be aware of her abuse and that apology is not sincere - she was annoyed that you knew about what she had done. You are worth more than maintaining a relationship with someone who has the capacity to treat someone -anyone- as if they shouldn't be alive. NO ONE has the right to speak to anyone like this, let alone physically attack them.

You're completely right. She did do that, and it was unfair and downright deceptive, as you said. The alters have been abused enough, they don't need to take this, and neither do I. Thank you so, so much.

That doesn't sound like something a friend would do. one of my so called "Friends" did that to me also when i still wasn't integrated. he constantly tried to provoke me and bring my russian personality out so he could make him angry. It was horrible. I stopped being friends with him a while ago.