Confused.

Hi everyone. I have a problem, I don’t know what to do, and I can’t talk to my T because she’s out of town for two weeks.

I used to be able to communicate with other multiples, but for the past couple of months, I literally can’t. I used to post here a bit. Then I stopped being able to be open and sharing, and went to just lurking. Then I stopped even being able to lurk. The moment I read ANYTHING about someone’s alters, or something written BY one of the alters, an overwhelming surge of anger washes over me. There’s so much hate I feel so terrible about it. The only thing I can assume is that it is coming from someone I don’t know yet. I am 97% sure it is not from anyone I know. But they don’t communicate with me at all.

It feels like they are punishing us for being multiple. (Due to the alarm fiasco yesterday)

Is this normal? I’ve never dealt with this before. An alter that downright HATES the fact that we are multiple?

I am just so at a loss as to what to do. I’m completely closed off because of him/her. Does anyone have any ideas?

(After I wrote this I started feeling physically sick. :/ )

I don't know what to tell you. Maybe it is a alter. It could be an alter that denies being an alter. I don't know. DID is something i wasn't really diagnosed with, but i knew i had. But i am integrated, and now i'm only dealing with paranoid schizophrenia as my main problem. I had a voice that tried to convince me i didnt have anything wrong with me though. He was a voice in denial. But maybe one of your alters is like that.

I do not have any experience with this, but I wanted you to know I am listening. Good job talking to us. Maybe you have to fight this "someone" and keep reaching out.