No-one understands

Ggggrrr. Was talking to a friend earlier, I have a mental health assessment tomorrow and I was saying I'm not sure what to say at it/what I want out of it. And that I'm not sure about my new counsellor as I talk a lot about the past so feel more unstable. She went on about how with her she had to think happy thoughts, look at the situations and realise they weren't that big, and talk about the past to get over it.

WHY does everyone think it's that easy....if it was that easy we wouldn't all be on this forum! I just feel that no-one understands 'all you have to do it x,y,z'.

Am I missing something here, is it not as complex as I thought, can it be treated easily with counselling and positive thoughts. Am struggling so much at the moment and now I feel as though I shouldn't have bothered going to the doctor and shouldn't bother with the mental health assessment aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Don't take this the wrong way, but I smiled as I read your post.

Singletons think they have it all figured out bless 'em! It's as complex as it feels for you right now, that's for sure.

I think it's safe to say a LOT of us here on the forum understand! Good luck in the assessment!

That sounds so invalidating, debetoile. My Dad is the same way. Whenever we talk about my insiders, he tells me to “just fix it, tell them to go away.” I try to explain that’s like trying to turn off his emotions-- that it’s automatic, out of my control and a natural part of my developed functioning.

If it were so easy to get rid of, we wouldn’t be putting so much money into therapy or taking a medicine to help my PTSD symptoms. In my view, they’re trying to help, but don’t have the smallest understanding of what it’s like.

You’re not “doing it wrong,” none of us are. I wish you the best with your assessment.

-Jeff

Any normal person grieving the death of a loved one can be diagnosed with MDD, but real MDD is only 5-10% of those diagnosed with it. Real MDD can't be cured with things like happy and rational thoughts, and time, and somebody listening to them. Real MDD requires medications for life, maybe electric shock therapy, and many are only slightly helped with things like that. There is a difference between feeling sad and feeling despair/despondent/agony/anhedonia. Just like normal nervousness before public speaking and dissociative shock due to the presence of a person in one's vicinity (not normal). Severity is usually assessed based on the degree of impairment (i.e. one person who can't help but cry at work, and another in a catatonic stupor who cannot respond to basic stimuli). Your friend has has no idea what your life is like, but has some idea of what it's like to suffer. There is a spectrum from happy to sad, and from calm to nervous/anxious/stressed; but sad and nervous have their own spectrum - your friend may have been on the opposite end of the sadness/nervous spectrum as you are, but that's the worst she ever felt! Her suffering is as valid as yours is, even if she has no idea what you're surviving as best you can. Don't let her ignorance stop you from getting the help you deserve! If it were so easy nobody would need help.

Thanks for all your replies. I haven't told my friend yet about DID, although I think of her as the closest friend I have. She's been to jobcentre appointments etc with me. I feel she's too near to know about DID until someone actually knows that's what I have, as she knows my family (including those who are the reasons we are like it).

I'm glad we're not just 'being silly' and missing something simple. I wish it was just that easy *sigh* - I think we all do. Just remember - we're survivors

debetoile wrote:Thanks for all your replies. I haven't told my friend yet about DID, although I think of her as the closest friend I have. She's been to jobcentre appointments etc with me. I feel she's too near to know about DID until someone actually knows that's what I have, as she knows my family (including those who are the reasons we are like it).

I'm glad we're not just 'being silly' and missing something simple. I wish it was just that easy *sigh* - I think we all do. Just remember - we're survivors

Sometimes a little validation goes a long way. nice to see you smiling.

I can breathe a sigh of relief now. The dr was lovely and I managed to explain everything and be honest. All through the questions she was asking I could tell she was trying to see if it was schizophrenia, hoping I've convinced her it's not. I couldn't help but say we and at one point 'Katie says' lol. Hoping she has heard of it before as shes only been there a couple of months, last time I had someone on a 6 month rotation so I hope shes there for longer. At the end she said that it had been requested to be seen at the dr surgery not at mental health house and asked why....she's now seen how I can panic and burst into tears...she'll see me at the drs again

She's going to do a blood test to rule out the usual kidney, liver, anaemia, thyroid. And she's going to start me on antidepressants and 'something for the voices' (they're not voices, they are part of me )

Hi debetoile !

First of all, welcome here. It's a good idea to talk here, I think, because nowhere have I seen "normal" people understand how DID can impact your life. My own dad thinks I'm just faking for attention (let's just say denial is easy for me).

So you are seeing a doctor, and you wish to get better. That's great ! But while every psychiatrist has a mandatory general education in mental health, a lot of them specialize in either psychotic disorders or mood disorders because of their relative prevalence. Chances are she's only seen DID in passing on a slide for a few minutes during class and forgot about it. I'm not a doctor, nor do I intend to become one, but I'm ... interested by health and treatments. You do not seem otherwise psychotic, but I don't have much information to back that statement. Still, if she proposes you antipsychotics to "make the voices go away", try to explain better how these voices are not just voices, assuming it is indeed the case. There are important differences in how people with psychotic disorders and people with dissociative disorders perceive those "voices", and what these voices really are.

For a clearer idea, you can look on http://www.dissociative-identity-disorder.net/wiki/Schizophrenia [disclaimer: I have written a part of the content of the target wiki article, in an anterior revision of said article.] to see how your symptoms match either disorder.

I hope it helps !

Ah - hadn't thought she may prescribe antipsychotics, if she does I'll collect them for use at a later date. I'm hoping it's something for PTSD that would help with the nightmares and the screaming inside my head....which is why I hadn't thought it could be anything else. Now I'm nervous, I don't even know how or when I'll be prescribed the meds as it wasn't just done there and then. And everyone wouldn't talk to her today because it usually takes 3+ times of meeting someone before they'll make an obvious appearance. And I had also forgotten that some (IMO narrow minded) people wouldn't believe DID exists. Argh, will wait and see

Glad you posted and am new as of tonight. Your post is so like my thoughts and feelings. so much hell to even go through and then pay for an inept doctor u have to start over with. it is not easy at all. hang in there and good luck on ur assessment.