New - Freaking out

Hi, I am new here too and to any real certainty that I may have alters. I understand the freaking out. As I read on the DID forum, I am both relieved and afraid -appauled and drawn to. I came home from therapy googling muscle spasms and dissociation. I have been dx with bpd with my last therapist and have had the screaming in my head and crying for a couple years and finally started telling my current therapist about this anger (screaming) and sadness The sadness happens and then immediately my head is screaming at me and sometimes mocking me but mainly feels proteci
tive of little ones when the crying starts. Constantly kicking my legs with full body muscle spasms at times. I am so afraid and can barely read and retain anything tonight after being on here the first time. I don't believe I could be DID I am very scared too, Thx for ur post which I now cant remember (and I don't know how to go back to check while writing)but I know I appreciated it sorry for rambling

loiseisher*** wrote:Hi, I am new here too and to any real certainty that I may have alters. I understand the freaking out. As I read on the DID forum, I am both relieved and afraid -appauled and drawn to. I came home from therapy googling muscle spasms and dissociation. I have been dx with bpd with my last therapist and have had the screaming in my head and crying for a couple years and finally started telling my current therapist about this anger (screaming) and sadness The sadness happens and then immediately my head is screaming at me and sometimes mocking me but mainly feels proteci
tive of little ones when the crying starts. Constantly kicking my legs with full body muscle spasms at times. I am so afraid and can barely read and retain anything tonight after being on here the first time. I don't believe I could be DID I am very scared too, Thx for ur post which I now cant remember (and I don't know how to go back to check while writing)but I know I appreciated it sorry for rambling

I can't post a lot right now, but I just wanted to quickly respond and let you know that I sometimes, when I switch, have violent muscle spasms, which I attribute to the Alt's fighting it out in my head. As well *TRIGGERWARNING* some Alt's will come out during times of high anxiety and try to physically hurt the host through violent spasms and such, I believe it is in an effort to remove my body and/or mind from the trauma that is causing me anguish *END*

I empathize completely and want you to know you are NOT alone!