Integrating into what part?

I would like to integrate. How does one go about finding what part one is best suitable to integrate with? I don't think I would do too good with the host as it is, but I still would rather not stay only myself and missing out on so much of our life and missing out on so much depth of emotion that I am now. How has others gone about this? Thank you for any help.

Well, Cedar's integration with me certainly wasn't planned! I don't know how it happened... But it makes sense that we did, because we were both the 'happy' parts, except I used to have no feelings, like Aiden. But now I do! And Cedar is younger So I guess what part are you the most like? Or what part would balance you out? What part do you like the most? I think ninchen and N are very similar now, but ninchen is just a younger version of N

Thank you for sharing about that. I know what part I split from, so I've been thinking that's a good place to go "back". I haven't been around for as long a time as most of the others so it wouldn't be so strange. I'm not sure though. I would be integrating into a very traumatized little but that's what feels the most "natural". I'm just trying to see if that even makes senes or if not. I think I'm just a fragmentary alter so it wouldn't be as difficult to integrate me, I think.

Thank you again.

How do you integrate? Can you just decide it and agree to do it with another alter or something? I don't know how it happened with Cedar!

For us it's been more like wanting it, and working towards it and it then happening on its own really.

I'm not sure how it works though as I haven't integrated before obviously

It seems to be a "birds-of-a-feather flock together" kind of thing. We all have certain elements in common with each other. Find enough in common, share enough mutual affection and acceptance, let down our walls, get closer, and suddenly we just come together.

Some kind of fusion ritual is popular and in the therapy literature there are many comments about clients becoming dependent on the therapist-assisted ritual. However, a ritual is not necessary and spontaneous fusions are common.

All of my fusions, 3 so far, were spontaneous. My first fusion was a complete surprise, very sudden, and quite overwhelming and disturbing. At that time I had not yet learned anything about this, so I did not know what had just happened to me. The second fusion I felt it coming just minutes ahead, knew what was coming, and experienced it happening with a mixture of shock and joy. The third I felt it coming for weeks ahead and I was ready for it but when it happened it was a non-event, in our sleep.

Integration for me was different for every part. One thing was:bein ready, feeling accepted, acknowledged, allowed to be there no matter how (tho behaviour would be restricted, the alter was welcome and cared for).

I found that sometimes you have to go to the root of the problem. Indie and Amber never got along til we had long conversations, first with Amber, then with Indie, then both of them togheter (not sure I recall correctly). Then they kinda could see past their differences, realise they were okay by stayin who they are as in not losin themself by merging, stuff like that.

Rob realised he was a male in a female body and that the time he was stuck in had passed long ago. That realisation made him more willing to come closer and finally integrate.

There s no quick fix or ritual that works for everyone I believe.

FOr me; I found the meditation written under 'communication with alters ) under the thread of resources very helpful. It helped alters realise they were important, they were needed, appreciated and cared for. Because of that the need of bein separate and fightin for their rights became different.

How are you?
Love
Minnie

share enough mutual affection and acceptance, let down our walls, get closer, and suddenly we just come together.

This has been true for us too and hopefully will happen for this part too.

Some kind of fusion ritual is popular and in the therapy literature there are many comments about clients becoming dependent on the therapist-assisted ritual. However, a ritual is not necessary and spontaneous fusions are common.

We fused at home and it was nice. We could keep separated for a couple hours by will when we felt it happening but that took a lot of energy and as soon as we let our walls down again the fusion happened. It was a strange feeling but we knew what was coming/happening.

Thank you Minnie, it's great hearing how you experienced you're decidedly massive integration.

I'm glad yours is holding

We are good. We have been talking lately and I think most if not all are in agreement that at least some parts in our system will need to be integrated be able to give everyone a life where they are present and enjoy the life we share, there's simply too many of us.

So we will see This part seems like she very much wants it and she and a child part is growing closer which is good. We will see what happens

I m thinkin of you and wishin you all the best

love

Nina11

me it just happened. i did what my alters told me to do, and now i am just one person instead of many like i used to be. i did what my alter told me to do and then we all integrated.