pregnancy inside *possible trigger warning*

I don't even know how to start this thread, or what to say.
I feel so scared, because it's happening again. 3 years ago when i was new to the body I was pregnant inside for 3 months (that I knew about anyhow, was probably closer to 4 or so since 'symptoms' started to when I started getting suspicious) and it seemed like i was outside too. i still don't know if i was or if it was a delusion. That was when really bad flashbacks started happening. Now it's happening again. I don't know why this is happening. I didn't think it was really possible unless if you wanted it to happen. At least this time I know the body's not pregnant too, but inside its not going away. I don't know what this means and why this is happening again to me.
I'm scared to bring it up in therapy because I don't know if anyone will believe me.

If anyone has been through this what happened? Did you carry it or was it some sort of weird metaphorical thing, and would the baby be a new alter or two merged parts of whoever made it.

Sorry for the sort-of ramble. I feel so lost right now.

I have no idea how to help or what to say, as I've never heard of this before. I'm sure someone on here has, since I'm pretty new to this and am far from knowledgeable. That said, I can't even imagine how scared you must feel, so even if I can't help in any other way, I am definitely here to listen if you need to talk. You're not alone. Sorry I can't do or say anything more than that.

Thanks for the kind words ForHearts. Right now it doesn't look like this is going to happen quickly so some of the worry has decreased, but it's still there. I still have no idea why this is happening again and haven't been able to find any answers or advice or anything. im too scared to mention it to our therapist since we recently switched and i don't know this one very well either. im terrified she'll think im delusional if i mention it

Some good news in all this is that Birch said that if this turns out to be an actual baby, he will help me care for it and we can start a family. He helps care for the Littles in our system and does a good job so that also helps me feel a little better.

If anyone has information or personal experience with this sort of thing, its still welcome if you want to share.

Hi there. My computer isn't working but I've so wanted to answer this topic.

Back in the day I used to "be pregnant" every time I came out. My belly was big and all (to outsiders). It was good and it was bad in its own way.
I've had so much I wanted to say on this post but now my mind is going blank.I have too much to say at once I relate is what I'm trying to say.

I know some systems who have lost the baby inside, some who have carried it and given birth to it and it's become an "inside alter" (and alter who doesn't or hasn't fronted), or where it's become it's own alter - effectively splitting. I think it depends on the needs and what the initial reason for it was.

It could be metaphorical or it could be a pointer to something that has happened. You say the flashbacks started happening last time. We're they related to a pregnancy? (you don't have to answer this, more of a thought for you). If yes, or even if no, is it possible your brain is trying to remind you of whatever trauma this could be a result from so you do not repress again or to make you deal with it/the emotions or whathaveyou?

I'm sorry this is so all over the place. My brain is a bit weird.

I wish you the very best with this.
Safe hugs if wanted.

lifelongthing wrote:I know some systems who have lost the baby inside, some who have carried it and given birth to it and it's become an "inside alter" (and alter who doesn't or hasn't fronted), or where it's become it's own alter - effectively splitting. I think it depends on the needs and what the initial reason for it was.

Thank you for the information.

I guess this is just going to be one of those wait and see things.

my belly's still getting bigger inside, but i dont have that blind panic about it anymore. i thought for sure it would go away after the new waves of flashbacks (yep, it happened again ) it's too coincidental to ignore, but this time I didn't *TRIGGER WARNING* miscarry *TRIGGER WARNING* .

so i guess now the only way to go is forward?
i'm still having a really hard time believing the flashbacks are real. i don't want to believe that they're real...
i can't talk about them to anyone, not our therapist, we don't even mention it inside.

Familyof3 wrote:
i can't talk about them to anyone, not our therapist, we don't even mention it inside.

how about here?

moks wrote:

Familyof3 wrote:
i can't talk about them to anyone, not our therapist, we don't even mention it inside.

how about here?

can't either. its too bad and triggery. too much shame

Familyof3 wrote:

moks wrote:

Familyof3 wrote:
i can't talk about them to anyone, not our therapist, we don't even mention it inside.

how about here?

can't either. its too bad and triggery. too much shame

Ah yes, the "s" word, we understand.

We're thinking of you (all).