Alters without names?

Hi,

as some of you may or may not recall I have a friend diagnosed with DID. From what my friend told me, she and her therapist are currently working on bettering the awareness of and communication with the alters. Apparently the alters only come out when directly spoken to by the therapist. While my friend is sort of aware "she" is saying something or acting a certain way, she does not recall every bit and also does not feel as if these words or actions were hers. So far they seem to have come across two alters, both of which have bo names. My friend and her therapist call them the destroyer (because he keeps trying to hurt and sabotage my friend) and the little girl (who can talk, but rarely does).

To me these sound like ego states taken too literally, to be honest.

Note that I am not doubting the existence of DID. Also: my friend does exhibit all the signs and symptoms of DID. But this still made me wonder if all of it is coming from her or if not some parts have to do with the way her therapist words things, especially since they only ever talk to her (though that may be a trust thing). Don´t alters "come with" names naturally? Do any of you ever come across alters you don´t know the names of? Do you only find out about the details after some time?

I just know from my own therapy that there are ego states that often resemble her destroyer and little girl, also have no names, and can feel distinctly different from oneself while still not being alters.

- Camelidae

If she does not remember everything this is very clear signs of DID. The fact that they are hiding (not coming out unless spoken to by a T) also isn't so strange. There might be others that front more often without you or others noticing, they may not be telling the truth and are fronting at other times too or you, the T and the host may just not know the whole story yet.

Many alters don't have a name from the start. Some get a name later that they like, some find a meaningful name, some are made with a name. There is nothing "not DID" about alters not having names. Many alters are very protective and choose not to give details about themselves for a long, long time. Lin in my system was fully known about for over a year before she shared her name and age with anyone. Anastasia shared her name after 2 years. It depends on what they want, how they have been met in the past when talking about themselves etc.

Please remember that while you are told by your friend what happens in therapy, it is not up to you to judge what is what: her therapist and the alters themselves are the only ones who know what is going on and none of them probably fully do yet.

She sounds DID to me, from everything you've written here and in earlier posts.

Camelidae wrote:Don´t alters "come with" names naturally? Do any of you ever come across alters you don´t know the names of? Do you only find out about the details after some time?

No. Yes. Yes.

It is possible for a therapist to activate ego states, even without intending to, and mistake them for alters. Activation of ego states is the basis of hypnotherapy, and why hypnotherapy now has such a bad reputation in the treatment of DID. This is why the diagnosis of DID is based on reports by the client or other people of spontaneous switches of executive control, with amnesia, absent hypnosis.

From what you have described, I think you are worried about the possibility of iatrogenic (meaning therapist induced) false findings in your friend's therapy, but I don't see any red flags for that.

Not all DID systems have named alters and not all alters have names. There are many reasons for this variety of presentation. For example, my family of origin has several nicknames for me that refer to certain alters, but those nicknames were used to hurt and mock me so none of my alters will answer to or use them. Nonverbal alters generally don't have names. Covert alters often don't have names either; they answer to the host's name. A system that is not very self-aware usually won't have names prior to therapy. Before alters start talking about each other they generally don't need names; names become necessary to specify who is being talked about. No one in my system self-identified with a name until I was in therapy for many months. Then, when it began to get confusing to talk about them without naming them (I didn't want to presume), Alter 2 chose a name for himself and declared it to me.

Alter 2 is very active in my daily life, but he is also very covert about it. He used to want to be covert, but now he is very conflicted. He has allowed me to share his name with only a few other people and only rarely does he speak to anyone directly. I think he would like to be known for himself, but coming out is scary.

My Alter 4 is a classic DID alter who takes executive control while I lose time, but even after 2 years of therapy I have no idea if she has a name.

I´m very late with my reply but thank you for responding. I did not mean to negate her having DID or the existence of DID. I´m merely worried about my friend. But I do believe her.

In our experience, some of our members have 'come with' names, others have chosen their names and others have been named. It is all a random sort of thing and there is no box or generalization that it can be shoved into.

Best of luck with your friend It is really nice of you to come here seeking support so you can understand her better.