Significant Other (SO) Thread

Hello,
I am posting this thread to provide easier access to advice, questions and shared experiences for significant others of loved ones with DID, as well as responses from those with DID.

Um... what is SO? -Nurul
"Post: 1"
Welcome to the forum. -Racheal

SO means significant other. This is usually meant to be partner (as in husband, wife, boyfriend etc) or parents of, children of etc

(Indeed, welcome here - this is a great place for support Good luck with your thread, I will back out of it now unless my SO wants to write something on here )

My wife, a registered member of this forum, and I are reading the DID Sourcebook by Deborah B. Braddock, ©2001, which references external sources especially the DSM (4th ed.) Wife says she's learned 5th edition is slated for release this summer around May. What changes are to be expected for diagnosis of DID and will it mean more comprehensive treatment from within the mental health field? Can I expect increased benefits from health insurers here in the U.S. in diagnosis/treatment of DID, as well as all other disorders? What does one do when qualified professional resources/avenues are extremely limited in your area? Should someone consider inpatient therapy in that instance? Is that even a commonly available option?

I have more to ask of this community relating to this, as well as relating personal experiences in an effort to navigate more carefully through our ongoing therapy. Please bear with me, and thanks for any insights you may provide.

I can't PM you so I have to write in your thread, sorry. Do you want answers from just SO's or do you want answers from anyone? I get this is a thread for SO's to provide support to each other and a place to ask questions, but I'm not sure who you want to answer?

The thread is for everyone. I got admonished by my loving wife for not posting questions directly, she told me starting a SO thread may cause some confusion. Sorry!

So is there already a discussion about DSM-V's possible changes and how it will affect diagnosis and treatment for DID?

That's quite alright

Here is a thread about the DSM 5: dissociative-identity/topic102081.html

Hope you find it helpful

SO of a wonderful DID woman here. If I can help at all I will.

Thanks for the links and thanks for the support. I'm not very good at providing the full emotional support my loving wife needs, sometimes I say or do the wrong thing and it triggers her. I often feel caught between staying silent or risking saying something that will result in an angry outburst which makes me withdraw internally even though all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and hold her tight and tell her how much she means to me. I'm not sure what to do when she triggers, outside of trying to remain calm until the storm passes.

ConcernedHusband wrote:Thanks for the links and thanks for the support. I'm not very good at providing the full emotional support my loving wife needs, sometimes I say or do the wrong thing and it triggers her. I often feel caught between staying silent or risking saying something that will result in an angry outburst which makes me withdraw internally even though all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and hold her tight and tell her how much she means to me. I'm not sure what to do when she triggers, outside of trying to remain calm until the storm passes.

*safe hugs if wanted*

First off, you're not the only one who feels this way or who deals with that. You aren't alone.

Its hard for me to be silent when I know my SO is hurting. I push her (metaphorically) to talk to me. Sometimes I trigger her, but ya know what? That's okay. I don't want to do it and I hate when it happens, but I'm only human and I will make mistakes. And it's a learning curve for both of us. She's getting better about telling me what her boundaries are (and expanding them) and I'm learning to recognize them and trust her when it comes to handling triggers.

Give yourself a break and tell her how you feel. You both have to communicate.

When you feel those urges to wrap your arms around her, do so! There are times when it's obvious my SO doesn't want a hug, but I hug her anyway. And it hurts a little to have your affections met with stony silence, but that's okay. That's part of being an SO to someone with DID. I know deep down she appreciates it when I hug her, even if she doesn't show it. I'd be willing to bet your wife will too.

And when she is triggered just try to remain calm. If you can talk with her through it, do so. Use a calm soft voice. Don't rise to her level of emotion if it's high. If she's down you have to be at a higher level than her. Try to have your emotions at the level you want her to be at, if that makes sense? Just remember that the storm will pass. And she'll still love you when it's over.