My Experiment

Hey everyone. I've recently been trying an experiment and I think some of you may be very interested to hear. I am an Oneironaut aka a lucid dreamer. For people not familiar with lucid dreaming it is when you gain consciousness during a dream. Now most people tend to wake up when they know they are dreaming but with enough training and practice you can stay in the dream. Because you are essentially awake in your dream the dream will feel just as vivid as real life so you have all 5 senses available (but again this takes practice) and this also means you have full control over everything so you can do whatever you want. For me this is amazing and I have had many wonderful experiences but despite being a limitless playground it is also a very special tool.
Lucid dreaming allows a direct link to your subconscious so you can ask your subconscious questions and receive answers. With this is mind I have decided to really find out who Scott, Darren and Ted are and what they represent.
However so far my attempts have been unsuccessful but also incredibly fascinating. This is what has happened so far.

In the first dream I was in my house and people were trying to break in. I was very scared and paranoid and didn't know what to do. It suddenly hit me I was dreaming and I gained full awareness and consciousness. I opened my door and said to the people trying to break in "Come in and take what you want. None of it is real." They all looked confused. I walked off down my street and remembered I wanted to find out who Scott is. I started to run and told myself that when I got to the end of the street I would find Scott on the street to the right. I did but there was a very blurry wall in front of him and he was inanimate. He just stood there. When I approached the wall I said "I want to know who Scott is." The words "ACCESS DENIED" flashed up in front of me. I could not get through so I woke myself up.

The Second attempt I can't remember that well but I was in a village and it looked like there was some kind of festival. Again I suddenly realized I was dreaming and went to look for Scott again. All of a sudden people started screaming and running. I saw Scott in the middle of a street but like before he was surrounded by a blurry wall and he wasn't moving. I tried to get close but people kept pushing and shoving trying to run away. One guy grabbed me and told me not to go near. I got angry and tried to wrestle free but couldn't. I lost consciousness and soon woke up.

For me this is all fascinating even if I have not yet got the results I desire. I think this shows that I am not ready to understand or know who Scott, or any of my people, are yet. I was unable to clearly see him and he just appeared frozen like a mannequin. When I asked I was greeted with "Access Denied" and in the second dream all the dream characters seemed very scared. The dream characters themselves probably represent part of my subconscious. Perhaps I am scared to find the answer. Anyway if people are interested I will keep you updated.
Thanks, Frank

Wow this is fascinating! I've done lucid dreaming but I got out of practice. This post kind of makes me want to start it up again to see if I could encounter my alters.

Thank you for sharing this!

I used to have almost exclusively lucid dreams for many many years (from around age 5 through 20). I can still usually get them if I want to. It's a great tool for healing and I've met many of my alters in dreams and been able to communicate or open up communication that way. It's been very interesting, indeed.

For instance, I had a lucid dream where I was able to comfort "baby me". Found out later it was one of my alters but the peace I felt when I woke up? It lasted for days and it was the most special feeling - feeling like I had healed part of myself, from the bottom of my heart.

Best of luck with your experiment, it's indeed very interesting and I'd love to read updates

This is really interesting and I'd definitely like to see how you progress.

I've never intentionally tried lucid dreaming before, but have had occasions when I will realize that I am dreaming. My problem is that every time it happens I end up having a panic attack in the dream and forcing myself to wake up, which usually results in sleep paralysis and continued panic (this happens if I have a nightmare/bad dream, as well). I don't know if that's at all related to maybe not being allowed to see too much inside, or my own fear of it, or if it's something completely separate.

Either way, I'd like to hear about how this goes for you, and any suggestions you have on how to work inside and gain trust/access as you continue.

Now I read about it - I think I have had lucid dreams as long as I can remember. I thought it was just a normal way of dreaming. I also thought this was a normal way of getting to sleep (I have always had trouble sleeping). I remember that I usually was aware that I was dreaming. But changing the dream was always very hard (somehow, I couldn't control where I was going or what was happening to me, usually I somehow floated in the air).

Really interesting this. Also because I sometimes seem to be able to get in a state of lucid dreaming, which, according to Wikipedia, is only for experienced practitioners

which usually results in sleep paralysis

This is very much related to the lucid dreaming. Your body will go into this state automatically when you have REM sleep and upon awakening yourself like that, many find they end up with sleep paralysis. If you were to wake up naturally you (probably) would not get the same effect It's very uncomfortable (I've had it happen several times myself) but as you stop panicking you will find the paralysis will usually wear off rather quickly

Also because I sometimes seem to be able to get in a state of lucid dreaming, which, according to Wikipedia, is only for experienced practitioners

Which state are you refering to, if I might ask?

lifelongthing wrote:Which state are you refering to, if I might ask?

I *think* that I sometimes started lucid dreaming before really deep sleeping, but it may also be a daydream before sleeping. I don't exactly know the difference. Maybe going from a daydream in a lucid dream? Whatever it is, I always thought this was a normal way of going to sleep. But now it's usually just that at one point I seem to have fallen asleep, as I can't remember anything after some point.

Maybe I can try the same experiment.

Thank you for explaining. Where did you read about it on wikipedia that it is only for experienced practitioners?

I have, as stated before, had lucid dreams for most of my life, almost exclusively. I start my dreams lucidly. This is indeed thought to be taught and not many people, though lucid dreamers, can do this.

I just haven't read about it before, which is why I ask

Frank_Darko wrote:For me this is all fascinating even if I have not yet got the results I desire. I think this shows that I am not ready to understand or know who Scott, or any of my people, are yet. I was unable to clearly see him and he just appeared frozen like a mannequin. When I asked I was greeted with "Access Denied" and in the second dream all the dream characters seemed very scared. The dream characters themselves probably represent part of my subconscious. Perhaps I am scared to find the answer. Anyway if people are interested I will keep you updated.
Thanks, Frank

This is very fascinating! And great progress! That's amazing that you were able to use your lucid dreaming skills to help you with this discovery process!

I don't think you're scared to find the answer. There's two possibilities that come to my mind when I read this.

1) You're not ready to be fully aware of everything yet. Not necessarily because you're scared, but perhaps you're not at a point in your life yet to where you're ready to start finding specific things, like who Scott is, just yet. Perhaps your life has other priorities right now, maybe you have to work some other things out first, maybe your environment isn't "right" for figuring these things out, it could be a variety of reasons for why you may not yet be fully "ready" to be truly aware. Another reason could be that your alters/system don't think you're ready to learn things just yet.

2) (This one seems more likely). Your alters and system are not ready to be known. They're not ready to be truly "exposed", to you or anyone else. DID systems are used to hiding, that's one thing they seem to be "built" to do. They're supposed to help the host cope and seem as functional, "normal", and ok as possible. And to seem "normal" and ok, the DID system can't exactly be out in the open, they have to hide and take care of things "behind the scenes". It can be hard for alters and a system to realize that they don't have to hide anymore; that the environment, themselves, and their host is safe and ok; that it's ok to be known and come forward; that their host is ready to learn, understand, and accept them, etc.
You might want to try self-talk and meditation tactics. Tell yourself and the others (even if you aren't sure if they're listening), that you are ok; that they are ok; that you are all safe; that the environment is safe; that you just wish to learn more about them and help them; that it's ok for them to truly come forward; that it's ok for them to be honest with you; that you're ready to learn, understand, and accept them as they are; stuff like that.
Before doing this, it might also help to make yourself as calm, relaxed, and safe-feeling as possible. The better you feel and the better your environment feels, the more comfortable your alters/system may feel about opening up to you.

I'd also definitely keep trying your lucid dreaming tactics to help you with this as well. You're definitely making great progress, and I hope it'll continue to go well for you. Thank you for sharing this with us as well!

-Cassandra

lifelongthing: here but probably most people here can't read that. Well, you could use a translation program.

But I'll go to sleep now