concentration problems

Another question of me. A long question actually. If it's too long, just skip till the four bullets and the paragraph following it.

I have had concentration problems for as long as I can remember. Maybe not in elementary school, but I don't remember such things from then, and it wasn't such a problem then. I'm now studying at a university (with all own responsibility that goes with that) and it is getting harder and harder.

The problems caused to nearly fail for my exams. It was a lot of work, but I passed them. But the concentration problems aren't going anywhere, unfortunately.
I tried like 1001 things (less, but it feels like that) to help me concentrate better. It didn't help solving my problem, but it helped understanding myself a lot better (which is a good thing).
I'm suspecting I have DID/DDNOS or similar, so that would at least explain the problems. (I'm actually nearly happy if that would be the case - then I know there's something to do about it. )

One thing that sometimes helps is first doing everything that I seem to need (eating, going to the toilet, adjusting temperature etc.) and then banishing all those feelings from my mind. But it doesn't really work well most of the time - it certainly doesn't make me feel better. I haven't used that a long time.

I once read a very general self-help book. It made me live a very structured and focused life. But it didn't last long, maybe a few months max. (I don't recommend it to anyone. I have done then because it felt wonderful, but I now know it didn't really help anyway. And afterwards, that period doesn't feel very well. I think I suppressed more that was good.)

I know concentration problems are very common and everyone has them once in a while and everyone needs to get some motivation to work. But I just don't get any further. I don't improve. And that's SO frustrating!!

What actually happens when I lose concentration is this:

• I think of something different. My mind just wanders off.
• I really try to learn/do something, but I don't 'get' it. I stare at it, do something, but it goes very slowly. And it costs A LOT of effort. I do much better other times. Often, I just don't understand what they ask. I feel like I should, and all special terms mentioned seem to have a meaning, but all of it is far away.
• I do something different, because I am distracted.
• I do something different, because I see that I have already tried the past hour or so to learn but it just doesn't work now and I would have done that another time in a quarter of the time, with much less effort and making much less mistakes.

I think the (most important) root cause of all this is bullet two. I am much more likely to wander off when it's very hard to do homework. And it is usually very hard to do it. Sometimes, I just 'open up' for it: it is easy (or at least not as hard as usual), I actually understand what is being asked, it all seems to go well etc. I might find it hard - but at least I'm using my full potential then. And finding something hard is (at that moment) only a reason to invest more effort in it until I do understand it. I usually learn things very fast, so that compensates it a bit. I think that is the only reason I have got so far. The only way that really works is if I don't have any choice than making assignments. I have been in some sort of homework class. But there should be other ways, right? I can't imagine living with this my whole life.

The moments that I'm focused I'm much less emotional. I'm not as confused as usual. But I do not feel 'complete' then, if that makes sense.

Do any of you have something that actually works for DID people? Or is the only way to solve this kind of things to improve internal communication - which isn't very good at the moment for me. I seem to be able to communicate sometimes, mainly via some sort of intrusive thoughts. Or writing something and writing the answer while it is being 'dictated'. But as I'm not yet diagnosed (not even "possible DID" ) I won't get help with it very soon.

The problems may also be related to ADD/Aspergers syndrome and the like, but all help I was getting with it just didn't work (in the long term).

My concentration is very limited, dysfunctional too. I think mainly because of amnesia, not much long term memory, and other symptoms of dissociation. It's like my brain is just not used to being in the present or will float away or just be unable to grasp many problems. I haven't yet found solutions to this, only being aware of it, and accepting and giving myself room to go at the pace I need too, and find ways of communicating in my own way, ie. doing more art therapy if I can't manage talking, or having to do activities In smaller doses and working up from there. I'm sure someone will have a bit,ore help somewhere

Concentration is also a big problem for me, as well. It was the main cause of finally looking into counselling, which has been somewhat beneficial, and brought me closer to understanding my own situation with dissociation. Even without going into the DID end of the spectrum, depersonalization/derealization are both incredibly detrimental to concentration. I wish I had a quick and easy answer to give you, because I know it can be incredibly frustrating and overwhelming particularly in university (I'm in my fourth year now, so I feel your pain!). Cutting off emotions and going in that kind of robotic automated way was usually how I got things done for a long time, as well, but it isn't always easy to force.

Some of the things that have helped me very recently is to find outlets for whatever is "blocking" my concentration. At first, I didn't actually notice that there were blocks, but once I started concentrating on what was happening inside instead of trying to force myself through the fog outside, so to speak, I realized that a lot of internal emotional struggles were occurring that I had kept shoved down by cutting off my emotions to get work done. It wasn't an immediate fix (I'm still working on it even now), and once I started it made things even worse for a little while (so be prepared if this is something that you think might be for you), but eventually that clarity started to slowly ease back. Some of the things I did was just open a notepad/journal and pour every thought out, no matter how strange or upsetting or irrational, and kept going until either some important things came through, or I felt that mental fog clear up and could concentrate a little again.

I don't know if any of that is relevant for your situation. If not, I hope someone else can give you a better perspective. Dealing with concentration issues can be definitely be incredibly frustrating and difficult.

Fightforlife: I have never tried art therapy, maybe I should look it up to see what it is

Boxling: Good suggestion! I actually used something like that before as an alternative to nightmares/flashbacks (whatever they are). I actually agreed upon that with the 'others'. And was 'forced' to do that several times (threatened with another flashback). Maybe I should try it for this, because I found out that, indeed, something is blocking me. It's like I try to do something useful and I'm hold back from doing that. Maybe I can agree upon something like this, like, first doing what you described and when finished doing important work (for me).

I am beginning to use art more, just cus some of the alters like talking through their pictures, and don't always have the words. I find pictures can speak a lot more sometimes. Or sometimes we might get an art book and look and think about a picture. Or perhaps some things in nature, like Looking at the trees etc, and it helps us with our emotions, or may help grounding us a bit, or talking to other alters etc.

Anyway, memory.. Yeh pictures are known to help with memory too. I don't know much about it though, but if I need to remember stuff, I think I will probably start having to connect it to something instead of trying to attach it in my mind, where it just floats away or I have blocks there. Or maybe doing a action will help, maybe even like a sign language which could help to recall certain things.

I need to look into it too! Let me know if you find out anything good

I like to do something similar to art therapy. I don't know what it's called, but its pretty much nonstop writing. I just sit down and write and write. Sometimes I end up with an awesome short story, but sometimes I end up writing down thoughts (maybe even my alters speaking) that I didn't realize I was thinking. I've even got a couple of memories written down.

We learned loads when we were in an art therapy group when we were in-patient. Recommended. And that's coming from not-creative-at-all me

Update:

I have been reading in the Haunted Self and now I know how to describe the problems.

Terms/definitions:

• field of consciousness / awareness - the amount of stimuli one perceives.
• level of consciousness - a high level can mean more alertness, a low level can include symptoms of DP, DR, concentration problems, tiredness, distorted sense of time, etc. The lowest level is coma.

(I probably have gotten some terms wrong because I copied this from a translated version. I would like to be corrected.)

** slight roles trigger? **
Good concentration means a small field of consciousness (fixed at an important task) and a high level of consciousness. When one has a dissociative disorder, the field of awareness may be limited as a coping mechanism to not be aware of any alters / to be less aware of them, so as to avoid any intrusion by, for example, EPs.

Usually, when I have to do a certain task, I think my level of consciousness is too low. I am not really distracted, I just can't 'push through' and just do it. It takes too much effort. This is the reason I may not be able to finish this year of college (and have to redo it). I hope I will be stable enough next year to redo it.

I don't know whether art therapy would really help with this. I mean, I am not really distracted, I have a too low level of consciousness. I have, just for fun, attempted to write a story once. Maybe I should try that again.

When I can't concentrate, I find that I can't concentrate on anything. It's like I keep drifting off and kinda just lose touch or go into a trance. Or suddenly everything seems foggy and my field of vision starts to vibrate- but that usually happens when something is triggering. That can happen anytime, not just when I am trying to focus.

The only thing that helps is to try and ground myself or feel safe. The mantra "that was then, this is now", or telling myself "it's safe now" over and over helps too.

I have friends that have ADD. When they can't concentrate, they react by looking for something that stimulates their mind. A friend with ADD told me he feels like his train of thought is actually a train, but it is always being detoured down other tracks.

PTSD anxiety based disorders cause great concentration problems. I cant do anything for very long. or, if a project is in front of me, I cant get started; something simple like cleaning up the floor of clutter. Im hoping things will improve. Its a abandonment issue..

I have memory problems from the PTSD stuff. cant memorize.

With the anxiety, it is very hard to concentrate..