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Want to kill myself, but afraid of death

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Want to kill myself, but afraid of death

Postby Oblomov » Fri Oct 31, 2008 9:04 pm

I'm fed up of this life. I have the means to kill myself painlessly, and I've set a date to do it if things aren't better by then. But I have no beliefs at all about death, and I think it might be anything. Maybe it's even worse than this. Maybe there's a hell in death, not because I'd deserve one but just because there is - just like there is a hell here on earth, the hell I've been going through for so many years.

I just want to be put out of my goddamn misery. No-one deserves to be tormented like this. I want it to stop, but the universe is so merciless.

If you want to stop me, I'd like you to shut up. I want a reply that's neutral towards MY suicide. Should I be afraid? How can I surmount those fears?

Maybe it's just nothing. Maybe I'd be reborn. Maybe as a lesser being. Maybe I'd go to hell, even if that hell would just be a kind of dream. But perhaps it's something positive.
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Postby Chucky » Fri Oct 31, 2008 10:00 pm

Hi,

I wasn't going to actually just tell you not to do it, because I know what you're feeling right now. However, I frequently set dates/times to kill myself too, but those moments typically come and go. I have no set date at present, but I know that I will set one when things get really bad again.

Is this the only place where you have talked about this? I mean, have you told anybody else?

Life is meaningless indeed, but I actually find comfort in that fact. You see, no matter what I do in life, nothing will ever matter. For me, this makes everything seem that little bit more interesting. For example, even if I lose my house and money, I can always just turn into a criminal and go to prison to get a free meal and bed every day/night. It's interesting.
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Re: Want to kill myself, but afraid of death

Postby Ericisme » Sat Nov 08, 2008 5:09 am

Oblomov wrote:I'm fed up of this life. I have the means to kill myself painlessly, and I've set a date to do it if things aren't better by then. But I have no beliefs at all about death, and I think it might be anything. Maybe it's even worse than this. Maybe there's a hell in death, not because I'd deserve one but just because there is - just like there is a hell here on earth, the hell I've been going through for so many years.

I just want to be put out of my goddamn misery. No-one deserves to be tormented like this. I want it to stop, but the universe is so merciless.

If you want to stop me, I'd like you to shut up. I want a reply that's neutral towards MY suicide. Should I be afraid? How can I surmount those fears?

Maybe it's just nothing. Maybe I'd be reborn. Maybe as a lesser being. Maybe I'd go to hell, even if that hell would just be a kind of dream. But perhaps it's something positive.


Well, honestly, it's nothing. It's like sleeping without a dream, nothing happens. I mean you really believe in hell and god? If their was a god he shouldn't have gave you your life, but that's just stupid to think there is one. That's sorta been proven(physics,gravity,science,evolution).

BUT if he and an afterlife is real, and you believe in that, then think about it for a second. He has a gross sence of humor, giving you a #######5 life, so when you die he might just give you a worse life, he can see your #######5 life in person then. Or lets picture him as a bully, he picks on you until he gets you to do what he wants you to do, so don't make him happy, don't give him that satisfaction.

If you ever wanna talk email or add me on messenger, eric6942069@hotmail or yahoo.com That goes with anybody here, trust me I'm not one of them assholes telling you not to kill yourself, I just give you the facts on it, sorta.
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Postby Oblomov » Sun Nov 09, 2008 8:15 pm

I'm not a Christian, actually. I don't believe in a universal governor, nor in heaven and hell. All I'm saying is that as long as long as no-one's coming back to tell about it, I'm not going to think anything at all about it. Scientists saying neurology proves anything about death are just as bad as fundamentalists saying the bible proves anything about death.
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Re: Want to kill myself, but afraid of death

Postby pageturnity » Wed May 12, 2010 9:34 pm

Hi,
I hear you. I read a novel called 'Somewhere carnal over 40 winks' and it helped me a lot. Especially, it opened my eyes to see the bigger picture of life. I hope this book gives you the answer you are after or something even better.
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Re: Want to kill myself, but afraid of death

Postby Julia-L » Sat May 22, 2010 6:45 pm

What stops you, Oblomov, is not fear, but merely a saving instinct. You actually want to go on livivng.
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Re: Want to kill myself, but afraid of death

Postby Julia-L » Sat May 22, 2010 6:46 pm

Oops, I meant "to go on living".
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Re: Want to kill myself, but afraid of death

Postby WistfulWanderer » Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:14 am

I'm certainly not going to tell you not to do it because I often feel the same way. But I'm curious about your "painless means"? I haven't been able to pick a satisfactory method, except maybe with certain chemical substances that I don't have to means to obtain or skills to synthesize. The best I've come up with is two handguns, one in each hand, each pointed at my head at a different angle to minimize the possibility of failure, and squeezed simultaneously. Probably one in my mouth and the other pointed at my temple.
I don't own any guns though, and I'm hesitant to buy any for fear I might actually carry this out.
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Re: Want to kill myself, but afraid of death

Postby WistfulWanderer » Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:20 am

Ericisme wrote: If their was a god he shouldn't have gave you your life, but that's just stupid to think there is one. That's sorta been proven(physics,gravity,science,evolution).

BTW it hasn't been "proven" that God doesn't exist. There's a lot of formerly unexplained phenomena that have been eventually been explained by science, but still the only logically tenable position supported by the evidence is agnosticism. Atheism is based just as much on faith as any specific religion, and there are still some significant metaphysical difficulties (like "why does the universe exist?" and "why does it have the exact physical properties that it does?").
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Re: Want to kill myself, but afraid of death

Postby face » Sun Jun 13, 2010 11:37 am

this thread is from 2008. I don't know when Oblomov last visited psychforums. Does anyone know if he's still around?
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