Can anyone relate to this...? Let me explain
For as long as I remember, I'm an "easy" person to get along with, especially in the past decade and always looked out for others when they needed help or some sort of assistance. No issues meeting people for the most part. Nothing bad was said about me..
But lately my behavior is laced with major anger issues. Not "light" anger either. Just itching for arguments and ways to release that anger. Outbursts to be precise. I don't enjoy it, cause it doesn't make me, or others feel good.
The biggest problem with it is, I feel like a whole DIFFERENT person! It's not me! It feels really strange. It's not a natural feeling at all.
People annoy me, loud sounds piss me off, happy people I just wanna knock the fu*k out.
I remember years ago, I was outside with people and really quiet. We were sitting around a table, and someone turned over to me and said "do you ever talk?" I responded by saying "yeah, I'm just tired today". If that scenario happened now? I would explode into a rage and and verbally destroy that person for asking such a dumb question.
Do people get uncomfortable around depressed people or something? Do they bother them? I can see how they would, but why is silence so "disturbing" to others?
Everything is setting me off and I'm really pessimistic about things too lately. I'm a pretty non bullsh*it person in general, and I like to get straight to the point of things. But if something fu*cked up happens, in real life, or something on tv I see (news) I say "$#%^ happens..who the hell cares". Kinda feels selfish. Totally not the real me.
I'm wondering if this is a common trait of severe or a specific stage of depression?
I'm becoming an a**hole. Perhaps cause I'm so sick and tired of my anxiety and other issues.
Any one relate?