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tormented by my own thoughts.. help

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tormented by my own thoughts.. help

Postby lydialouise » Sat May 11, 2013 2:45 pm

Hi my names Lydia I am 17 years old and for the past year or so I have been feeling very down and low, I have a physical disability (lost part of my right arm due to an infection) so anyway I try and change the way I think but its just so negative I feel so hopeless and like a failure to everybody like I'm a disappointment, and its like I'm stuck in a black hole that keeps getting deeper and deeper I'm always thinking negatively, tried to speak to my parents about it but their like 'pick yourself up and get on with life' I have tried to ignore how I'm feeling but I just don't feel happy anymore, I am failing miserably at college because I just don't enjoy it anymore along with everything else, I have been having suicidal thoughts like I just want to give up because nobody understands how I feel I'm fed up! I have been to the GP and he said I have anxiety and prescribed me diazepam but somebody suggested depression but can a 17 year old really get depressed? It's like I'm being tormented by my own thoughts of negativity and hopless and no matter how hard I try they won't go away.. I just want to be happy again! (Sorry for the long post I needed to rant)
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Re: tormented by my own thoughts.. help

Postby weepingwillow » Sat May 11, 2013 4:55 pm

Hi Lydia,

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time. What you're describing sounds to me like depression (although I am not a doctor). Have you thought about going back to your GP and telling them you think you might be depressed?
As far as I'm aware I don't think there's an age restriction on depression.

I also tried for a long time to ignore what I was feeling and put on a happy face to the outside world. I eventually had enough of feeling so awful all the time though and asked for help. I have so much support now that people know what's going on. I hate when people say 'pick yourself up and get on with it'!! If only it were that easy! Maybe if you tell your parents just how bad you're feeling they would understand more.

If you are having suicidal thoughts you really need to tell someone! I think going back to your GP and telling them everything you have said here would be a good idea. They will be in a better position to help you if you are completely honest with them. I know it's hard but it can and will get better! You don't deserve to feel the way you do and with help you can change it!

((Big Hugs)) and take care.

Willow
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: tormented by my own thoughts.. help

Postby lydialouise » Sat May 11, 2013 5:48 pm

Thankyou Willow, Sometimes my moods will just change though like one minute I can be angry then it'll turn too me being upset and then i'll be fine and then I find myself crying for no apparent reason even when i was fine before that, The upset seems to get worse when im on my own because i always think about things but their never positive always negative and i cant snap out of it.
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Re: tormented by my own thoughts.. help

Postby weepingwillow » Sun May 12, 2013 10:39 am

It sounds like this is really effecting your day to day life so it needs to be addressed. I get the feeling you don't think anyone else would see it as a problem? I thought the same thing but I started to be more honest about how I was feeling and everyone has been very supportive inc my gp. Being open and honest about everything will put them in the best position to help you.
What about printing out this post and showing it to your GP?

Isn't having a chance to change things worth it??

Keep talking here too
((Big Hugs))
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: tormented by my own thoughts.. help

Postby redrobin62 » Sun May 12, 2013 11:15 pm

I've been feeling down myself. I suppose all we can do is reach out to each other on these forums and hope that helps because we'll realize we're not alone in our depression. So, in that regard, I'm rooting for you and hope you feel better.
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Re: tormented by my own thoughts.. help

Postby weepingwillow » Mon May 13, 2013 1:02 am

We're rooting for you too redrobin! :)

((Big Hugs))
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: tormented by my own thoughts.. help

Postby masquerade » Mon May 13, 2013 10:09 am

Hun, if you're having suicidal thoughts, please speak to your doctor again, telling him or her everything. There is help available or the way you're feeling.

Yes, it is possible for people of any age to get depression. Looking back with the knowledge I have today, my bouts of depression first began when I was only six, and they may even have started at an earlier age. Depression can hit literally anyone, at any time.

You may also benefit from counselling. You mention that you go to college. Is there a counsellor at your college who you could see? Talking about your feelings can help you to understand them, to give them a name and a definition which can really help, and to process them at a pace that's right for you, slowly and gently, at your own time.

A combination of medication and therapy can help lessen the feelings of depression, sometimes even stopping them. It's very important that you reach out for help.

If you continue to feel suicidal, and the feelings become overwhelming, then please take yourself to your nearest hospital emergency room. This is very important.

Please let us know how you are.
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Re: tormented by my own thoughts.. help

Postby commedia » Wed May 15, 2013 12:50 am

Yes, a 17 year old can become depressed. It started for me at a very early age, as with masq, and became so severe it eventually grew into psychosis. Difficult situations can trigger it and, judging from the OP, this my be the case here. No on can diagnose anyone else here, but please consider this and look into it (consult your doctor(s)).

You're not alone, though. Something that may help is counting. Count to 10 or 50 until you are calm enough. If you need more tell yourself nice things about you, life, and your day. Whether you believe them or not doesn't matter at first. Eventually it can set in and ease up the feelies. Treat yourself kindly, spoil yourself when you make progress or accomplish a difficult task. Maybe a nice bath or a favorite meal plus a movie. Close those eyes and try to visualize (pick a color) the bad energy inside and you pull it out like a rope and wind it into a ball. Expell it out into the universe so it as far away as it can get. Practice relaxing breathing while doing this. Feel every part of the body relax and cleanse as the rope comes out.

That's not much, but it's as much as I am capable of helping you. Don't be afraid of asking for help. Seek professional assistance if you're feeling so poorly that you consider ending your life or injuring yourself. Once something like this starts it can escalate quicker than one may imagine.
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