Moderator: salted lipstick
Yes that sounds very much like dissociation. You may be dissociating when you are not triggered just because it may have become a habit left over from the time when you were dissociating in order to endure the abuse.uscitizen1966 wrote:My DBT therapist said that I am dissociating because I can't really remember my feelings or thoughts from one day to the next. Actually, won't really remember my thoughts and feelings from a few hours before. Sometimes I can't even recall what I did, like as far as chores, or what I ate. Does anyone here agree that this is dissociating? If yes, why am I dissociating when I'm not even having a hard day. If I'm not being triggered by anything, why don't I remember thoughts and feelings from even a few hours before?
Extremely common!uscitizen1966 wrote:Also have terrible troubles remembering HUGE chunks of time and even important events! Is this common with dissociation?
It is a common part of dissociation to create an "internal world" to escape to when you don't want to endure abuse or suffering.uscitizen1966 wrote:I also found out that I've been dissociating since the 7th grade by going into an imaginary world. My fantasies were so strong, vivid, felt so good, that I didn't want to leave that world and when I had to, say to go to school, or even concentrate to do homework,
Trauma and abuse such as what you have mentioned above is generally the cause of dissociation, a child needs an escape from the pain of the situation and so, with no other alternatives available, learns to escape into her/his head by using dissociation...uscitizen1966 wrote:When I was 9 I was diagnosed with Scoliosis, and had a fusion done, nearly my entire spine is fused...well, after that, my peers were just awful to me and picked on me terribly. I got beat up constantly. Literally dragged into bathrooms by girls and beat up.
What you've described doesn't sound like depersonalization or derealization, there are other typical things that people say about their experience with those such as feeling that things around them look "unreal" or they see themselves as if they are standing outside their body watching themselves. What you describe of your experience definitely sounds like dissociation but there are different types of dissociation. Seeing as you are experiencing dissociation you might want to research it further to see which type you might identify with most. It might be Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified or Dissociative Identity Disorder for example (I think either DDNOS or DID would be most likely for you, given what you've described... Currently I'd lean toward DDNOS given what you've said...) or it could be another of the types of Dissociation... Just as a side note, it is common that if a person has a misdiagnosis of BPD, they are often experiencing DID instead...uscitizen1966 wrote:My DBT therapist said that this is also dissociation. Designed to protect you. A way of survival to cope. Is this the same as depersonalization? Does what I am describing have a name, or DX, other than dissociation?
Kerry H wrote:Hi I don't have a diagnosis, but I'm sure I have DID. The derealization and depersonalization has been diagnosed. The mental health team think I may have BPD and I will probably be diagnosed with this soon. I think they're partially right, I think one of me has BPD, but not the others. I totally identify with everything you say except I don't create a fantasy world. X
salted lipstick wrote:I have so much I want to say in response to your response but I'm really not feeling well enough at the moment... I will come back and write when I'm not feeling so awful from being triggered... I think it is fantastic that you are trying to help yourself and your team by doing research into this... You are helping yourself so much by having a really proactive approach to getting well, that is a really good thing.
Kerry H wrote:Hi if you want to know more about my experience of DID I originally posted a thread titled "hello" on the Living With Mental Illness forum which is in the General section. Sorry I can't explain it again now I'm drugged and can't think straight. X
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