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Why do I keep lying?

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Why do I keep lying?

Postby lps25 » Sun Nov 26, 2006 11:19 pm

Hello, I am new here, and thought it might be helpful, if nothing else than just to get this off my chest. For the past few years I have been randomly telling lies, and it is starting to get worse. I am a normal, healthy young woman, well educated, job, etc. But I'll be with friends and just make up a story that didn't happen. Like, I'll say I saw a car accident on my way to work. Or, that somebody spilled coffee on me yesterday. Small, random things like that, for no reason at all. And then, I've started telling bigger lies. For example, I told a friend that I'd had an abusive ex-boyfriend in the past (not true at all). And what really scared me is that yesterday I told a co-worker I'd had cancer when I was younger. Several people very close to me have died of cancer, and for me to make up something like that, just horrifies me. But I couldn't help it. I know when I am telling a lie, but I can't stop it. Sometimes it gets to where I almost believe my own lies; for example, even when I'm by myself I'll avoid the intersection where I supposedly saw an accident. Why on earth am I doing this? I've never told a lie that would hurt anybody, but I'm afraid if this keeps going on it might escalate and ruin friendships and relationships. How can I stop??
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Postby yakasushii » Tue Nov 28, 2006 4:39 am

hello,

thanks for sharing.

why are you doing this? I don't know, but maybe it's for a subconscious desire for attention. All of the lies you've mentioned seem to have the purpose of gaining attention.... because they are likely to grab someone's interest, and they'll want you to expand on what you've said.

how can you stop this?
well, you've started off well! you said that you're afraid of ruining relationships, and if you keep this fear in mind, it should be a powerful deterrent.

I suggest you try to put yourself into the position of the person being lied to. imagine yourself believing in those lies, and later discovering that they were in fact lies. how do you think you would feel? probably not very good. maybe this imagination/empathy exercise will help you battle lying.

if you don't feel too uncomfortable doing so, maybe you can apologize to some of the people you've lied to, and to admit to what you've done... and explain that it's compulsive, and that you really do feel bad. but since it *is* compulsive, it's very difficult for you to stop. it's almost like having a reflex! I'm sure there might be some people who will not understand, but... I hope that they will. you can be the one to educate these people =) in my mind, there's an utter lack of educational initiatives to teach the public about this sort of thing...

what are your thoughts?

take care*
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lying.....

Postby acw » Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:33 am

I too lie.

I think i figured out why i do it....Low Self-Esteem who's roots stem from disfunctional family and abandoment issues.

I see that now more clearly with people who also lie. They tell them because they want to be more interesting...or they are ashamed of who they are....

I'm workin on healing myself.

hope this helps....
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