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Not looking for help but people to talk with.

Compulsive Lying message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Not looking for help but people to talk with.

Postby staycoolwilson » Fri Mar 08, 2013 8:13 am

Hi I'm new to this whole forum thing so stick with me

First about my issue, I lie to avoid confrontations or giving bad news. I then lie to cover up the first lie and I know to think that I some times lie so not to look bad. I don't feel comfortable with who I am so I see the only way to get around things is to lie.

Now I have destroyed my Marriage and tore my family apart, I wont go into everything as it will take to long and I don't want this topic to be about me. However I have lied to my wife many times but most recent I lost my job and never told her, then spent our saving (meant for our unborn child) trying to cover it up.

I'm posting here as I'm now sat at home all day job hunting and trying to think of ways to correct what I have done, but I have no one to talk to. My wife is still to angry to talk to me, as she only found out two days ago and I live away from family and friends (but talk on the phone to them in the evening)

I'm looking to get help and have made an appointment for next week. However I think everyone is thinking that me saying I need help is just another lie to get away with what I have done.

Please message me back about anything I'm looking to talk, it could be your own problem, about therapy, or even ways you have used to stop lying.

Thanks

-- Fri Mar 08, 2013 8:16 am --

Oh just wanted to say I will be out for a lot of today but will look on here when I can to reply so if I don't get back to you right away don't give up I WILL REPLY. :D
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Re: Not looking for help but people to talk with.

Postby dby17036 » Sun Mar 17, 2013 8:17 pm

I'm invloved with a man similar to you. He doesn't like himself. He will say anything you want to hear and lies to cover up his own bad feelings about himself and make himself look better. I'm hurt and angry at times like your wife probably is.
Did you ever think that there are people that will love you with all your faults? We would rather know your not perfect than be lied too. If you are honest, the people that love you are there to help fix the problems. Lying doesn't help any situation get better.
How did your appt go? I've always read there is little hope for compulsive liars. It makes me sad. I think a lot of compulsive liars have issues that are fixable.
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Re: Not looking for help but people to talk with.

Postby Robert S. USC FAN » Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:22 am

Don't give up...keep trying. One day at a time, one conversation at a time. There is hope...I know it. People who don't aren't going through this cannot relate. We love, we are afraid of letting those we love down and we lie to keep them around. Just like we cannot understand that they love us for us, they cannot understand that we unconditionally love them, that our love isn't defined by our lies, but it affects and destroys their love for us. I have gone 13 days without...for the first time in my life I want to stop...it's the hardest thing in the world. It's OK to disappoint, to say your sorry, to feel horrible, to hurt, to cry, to feel bad...it's alright. Just try for one day, for one hour, to say the truth...no matter how hard it is, take it...feel bad, and then do it again...TRY IT. One day, just one one at a time, things always get worse before they get better. There's hope, there's got to be, there just does. Don't lose hope, please don't, I didn't and I reached my lowest low.
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