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What are the chances?

Open Discussions About Child Abuse

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What are the chances?

Postby Myusernameis » Sun Jun 04, 2017 2:20 am

I met a man who suffered what sounds like really bad physical and verbal abuse while he was growing up. I think he's wonderful and in many ways is exactly the type of man I've always wanted. However, he's had one of the worst dating histories I've ever heard of and because of that for like the past 10 years or so has stopped dating altogether. I know he likes me, even though he insists that I'm not his type. He keeps calling me and we talk for usually 8 hours at a time. He'll spend hours and hours of his own time doing things for me without being asked. When the subject of us getting together is brought up he yells at me and says that he told me from day one that this isn't going to go anywhere. The yelling is inappropriate for the situation though. I rarely bring it up and usually people are flattered if someone is interested in them, but he just yells at me instead. I'm assuming that is some kind of violent reaction to him opening his heart up to someone he really likes. If that is indeed the case, what are the chances that he'll allow himself to have a relationship with someone who truly loves and cares about him?
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Re: What are the chances?

Postby seabreezeblue » Sun Jun 04, 2017 9:04 am

It's not always flattering though if someone you see as a friend, mentions that they want more from you than you've already explained you can give.

Do you think it's possible that you're misinterpreting his feelings about you? ie; that he's not actually attracted to you in a relationship sense, but that he does value you and care about you deeply, in a platonic sense..

If you are right however, he's been single for 10 years - that's a very long time, and more than enough to get rigidly set in his idea that he's going to be single forever..
Given the things he's been saying to you - I'd honestly give up and just accept that you're not going to be more than friends.. don't sit and wait for him - go out and live your life, and try out dating others/searching for someone that is emotionally available.
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