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Questioning reality of abuse *TW*

Open Discussions About Child Abuse

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Questioning reality of abuse *TW*

Postby theBalancingAct » Mon May 01, 2017 7:52 pm

Lately I've been questioning my memories of abuse. My dad says that they are false, that my mom wouldn't say or do those things to me. I can't help but wonder if perhaps I'm just messed up. I mean, what sort of messed up child would come up with false memories of their mother threatening to abandon them? My mom threatened to leave, saying that "since you stopped crying, it must be what you want." when I stopped crying out of shock. I remember my dad stopping her from leaving and getting her to calm down, yet he said that never happened.
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Re: Questioning reality of abuse *TW*

Postby seabreezeblue » Tue May 02, 2017 2:24 pm

If you remember that happening, then keep hold of that.

Your dad still with your mom? I find that it's a lot easier for people to deal with things, if they 'forget'. or dismiss/deny stuff that they feel very uncomfortable with.

My step-father denies pretty much everything that happened, and the stuff he does admit to remembering, he minimizes and says that there was nothing wrong with that - or why are we still going on about it all these years later.

Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..

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Re: Questioning reality of abuse *TW*

Postby Holodeck » Mon May 08, 2017 2:09 pm

Gas-lighting is a method of manipulation to get people to think things happened a different way by repeatedly telling them it didn't happen the way they remember. Like seabreezeblue said, hold on to your version of it, seek a professional to help you deal with your traumatic memories. Whether they want to admit it or not, you were obviously affected by their actions in some way. My mom did much of the same thing, and I recently got her to admit to some of it. I honestly never thought I'd get that from her, and don't plan on getting much more admittance of guilt. I recommend trying to distance yourself from them if possible, but understand if you aren't able to. Good luck.
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