Sorry for the title, it's very general. Because I'm sure that this is emotional abuse.
First thing first, I am should be embarassed that I discussing cases that mostly happened to young people such as teenagers. I'm not even young adult anymore, I am an adult, 30 yo. But I don't have anyone to discuss with since their reaction will be "they do this because they care ..." I don't need that affirmation, I know how parents feels, and I don't need to be told again, and besides, those kind of reaction proven as unsolving problem.
Here's my situation.
For three decades in my life, I completely trust my dad. In fact, I buy those unsolving advices and believe that what he did is for my best. But later, in my 6th year of consistently doing brainwave therapy and hypnotherapy on youtube, and also being away for several months from home, I realize that I was actually experiencing emotinal abuse.
That abuse was not just one or two, but for now, I'm going to make it simple just by pointing on one major problem that caused everything.
I wasn't allowed to feel.
When my dog died, and I wept, my father would said that I'm being exaggerated. and I should stop it.
When I was angry and express my anger, my father would be more angry, instead of taking it easy (that was proven to be the best reaction, because I did that when my friends angry). With him get angry, he challenge me to fight, I just want to be angry, not share punches to someone.
When I was happy for watching funny movie, my father would tried to shut me up by putting me down; he attack my self esteem for being exaggerated etc.
Yes, he always use that word "exaggeration". if this helps, he have strong "denial" trait in his characteristic. he would deny the rain if it prevents him to buy ciggarettes in the mini mart, but in other time, he would use the rain as reason to cover his laziness (to pick my sister from the bus station).
I can mention any other stuffs he did in my very important and precious time of development, but right now, I want to discuss about this.
what I would like to ask are these :
1. What are your suggestions for me in order to cure my self (I want to express my emotion correctly)?
2. How to survive living with such person, because right now I have to live with my parents?
3. What theme should I study about this? I want to do self-help psychology on google.
I hope for your best reply,
and thank you for your concern.