What are triggers for BPD

I recently found out I have BPD and that it goes back for generations in my family. I see a lot of others posting here about triggers. Would anyone care to bring me up to speed? I have an idea about them but would like to know more details. Thank you.

Everyones triggers are different. To me a trigger is when i feel stable, a object or person instantanously changes my body reactions and mental behaviors. It can be a word. some object i dont like, it can be someones tone in speaking, their body movements, something i see?? I have alot of triggers, I try a recongnize mine so i'm less likely to go off on someone.

Think through situations in your life where everything is going pretty well and then all of a sudden you just kind of lose it. Or you may feel the pressure to lose it mounting, getting bigger and bigger until you can't take it anymore and just burst with what is considered over emotional responses. Your triggers are personal, but we all have some basic similarities. With BPD the fear of being abandoned usually is a BIG trigger. It doesn't have to be even real, you could just sense that someone is looking to leave you and it can "trigger" a reaction that the person in question can't even begin to understand. And it doesn't even have to be a partner. It could be a co-worker leaving the job and all of a sudden you go into hyper-panic mode and lash out. It makes little sense to someone without BPD, but when you're talking to another person with the illness you'll start to notice we can all pretty much relate.

You'll learn as you go. Pay attention to what's going on in your life enough so that when you have an episode you can look back and realize what was going on, what was stressing you or overwhelming you. After a while, when you see those same things starting to happen you can take a break, walk away, get some space from it and prepare yourself better to handle it.

When people say that a post or whatever has possible triggers, it basically just means that reading it might make you relate so closely to what the poster is saying that it conquers ups your own emotional response and that you may need to either better prepare yourself before reading or, if its a particular crazy time or sensitive subject, just avoid the post altogether. We say it merely as a courtesy to each other.

It's a hard life until you learn that you are able to control things better than you have. But the best lesson you can learn is that everything takes time and no one is perfect. Get the people in your life who you trust to learn about the illness and make it a project everyone is involved with. But don't push for miracles. Step by step is pretty amazing enough.

Until I came here I didn't really know about the concept of triggers for a BPD. I would repeatedly trigger myself and while I knew it made me upset before I didn't really understand it. One trigger of mine is when I go to sites where men behave badly or very disrespectfully towards women. It upsets me and I paint all men black. I'm dating a man so I end up freaking out thinking he's some kind of sick perverted monster, he must be cheating on me and is having an orgy somewhere while telling them about how much he hates me and showing secret nudes of me So yeah, that causes problems and a lot of messages from me freaking out on him... and then an hour later talking about what to name our kids (this has happened).
Realizing my triggers makes me able to avoid them or work through them. Just realizing why I'm feeling the way I do helps me.

So in a nut shell: triggers are seemingly small/meaningless/inconsequential things that make you overreact.

for me it's anything involving real or perceived rejection/abandonment.

triggers....

1. perceived or real abandonment
2. confrontation
3. being ignored
4. not being validated
5. someone not liking me, i'm a total people pleaser
6. rejection
7. water that is not clear, especially lakes, especially with stumps sticking out of them
8. men who look like my father

i'm sure there's eleventy seven more, but these are the first that came to mind

Besides the somewhat more standard BPD triggers regarding abandonment and rejection, I am beginning to realize that many of my triggers are tied in somehow with my childhood and abusive family of origins. For example, situations with :
1. people who interrogate me when they talk to me (reminds me of verbally abuse childhood)
2. people around me who act like my verbally abuse father
3. people who try to control and manipulate me (again, reminds me of abusive father)
4. people who treat me unfairly and irrationally. (ditto - same reasons)
5. people who yell/raise their voice at me.

As I am learning more about my BPD, I am spending more time trying to become aware of my triggers so that I can better contro them before it gets to an unmanageable level. Some triggers I have identified as being fairly consistent ones for me, but I still haven't been able to figure out how (if at all) it ties in with my childhood/family of origins issues. One of the triggers that I haven't yet figured out why it generates instantaneous feelings of rage is when I am with someone who wants to become my friend, and yet they make me always do practically all of the talking in our conversations. I'm beginning to learn that I have to let these incompatible friendships go because these types of people in my life are often super needy. As a result, they can't provide me with the type of fellowship and support that I need because the relationships are so lopsided.

Add summer heat to triggers ..

A majority of whats in the above lists..especially perceived/real abandonment..like a sense of someone I see on a daily basis even though the conversation is brief it fufills something inside me that is being ripped away..besides all the nrmal BPD BS I inputed while knowing her knowing the end leads to let down.

wineaux wrote:
1. perceived or real abandonment
2. confrontation
3. being ignored
4. not being validated
5. someone not liking me, i'm a total people pleaser
6. rejection

Yep, me too, wineaux.
I think men freak me out, too. I've realized that. I just went to the drug store Wednesday night and there was a man cutting across the parking lot with a drink in his hand. I think it was alcoholic, but he creeped me out and so I turned around in the parking lot and went across town to another walgreens that was farther away from my house.

Alcohol used to be a huge trigger for me. Mainly beer. Has to do with my mom being an alcoholic.

Depressing songs. Even the lame ones. The other day it was, "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow'' from Annie. I was saying goodbye to my old therapist the next day. MAJOR triggering went on. Almost cried at work.

I think wineaux covered all mine, though, lol.

I think a lot of it depends on what kind of mood I'm in. Sometimes, simple things that I wouldn't normally even notice send me into a complete tailspin. I've found that it's more a case of knowing what kind of a mood I'm in; if I'm in an aggressive mood, then there are usual things that'll trigger me, so I try to watch for those events. Same goes if I'm sad.

Of course, there's also Wineaux's list, except for the water and men things. Granted, women intimidate the s**t out of me, but that's the Avoidant in me, not the Borderline.

Wineaux & Evgoddess
I don't know what your experiences are with guys, but I promise you; we're not all bad. Even some of us big, scary biker guys are good.