Out of sight, out of mind

I'm wondering if other people experience this too.

If someone I care about isn't physically around me, it's almost like they don't even exist anymore. I have a hard time recalling any positive or warm feelings I have towards them. I'm just cut off. A lot of times I will split someone and not see or talk to them for a long time, and in the meantime I literally don't ever think about them... but when I see them again I'm overwhelmed by intense emotions. All of those feelings I had for them before come back to me. I don't know how I repress things so well.

This doesn't just happen with people I've "split" on, or at least not that I'm conscious of. I have a friend that I used to talk to every single day for hours. His mother got very ill and now he's helping take care of her at the hospital whenever he has free time. I know this sounds awful, but all I can think of is the fact that he barely talks to me anymore. I feel very angry and annoyed, actually. I feel like if he really cared about our friendship, he would check up on me and make sure I was okay. I know how selfish that sounds, but it makes me feel empty and alone.

I was dating someone once and I thought I was falling in love with him. One day he called me and told me he never wanted to talk to me again. He didn't explain why, he just said he was leaving and told me to never call him again. After I got off the phone, I went and ordered a pizza. All of my feelings shut off and I didn't give a damn. I never grieved or shed a tear.

This is how I deal with death too. I didn't cry once about my sister's death until maybe 3 years after it happened. It just hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere. For the longest time it kind of just felt like she was "away" for a while and I didn't feel sad at all.

Maybe it's dissociation.

I can relate. I once cheated on a very good man. Then i never thought about him. 5 years later he just popped into my mind(triggered by a song)..then i started to regret doing to him what i did and sort of missed him..then forgot about him again.. Weird!

I'm in another country now, far from friends and family...and i don't even think about them much..unless they contact me. weird again!!

The only person i constantly remember is my bf..duh! coz' he keeps communicating with me.
Keeps making his presence known and i have feelings for him.

But i never or rarely think about any of my exes..it's like they don't exist.

I always feel whoever i'm with is my first relationship(even if he's like my 15th bf)..and i also know that if we break up, i'll also forget about him.

I just remember people that i constantly see..the rest are like lost in a black hole

It's just how i am..can't help it..sorry