NONS & BPDERS: READ THIS

While it has not escaped me that there is a lot of sudden conflict going on in here between the Nons and BPDers, there is little that can be done quickly.

While I am trying very hard to read through the threads and mark or move them as necessary, I'm a singular person.

NONS: If you are posting a short question about BPD, it goes in the Ask A BPDer forum. If you post is quite lengthy, you can post to the main board with a NON THREAD and TRIGGER warning in the title. It will reduce the number of BPDers that will read your thread and feel accidentally triggered. While you are welcome here, so long as you are respectful of the BPDers, the board was orginally created for BPDers, not Nons. We have tried very hard to make this place open to both Nons and BPDers adn give Nons ways to post that will not trigger BPDers and potentially cause misplace feelings to be thrown around, but times are trying. Please be patient and watch your titles. Clearly named and marked threads will also help you all identify each other's posts more quickly, so that the more seasoned Nons can help to advise the new ones, and the BPDers in a good place in their lives can share their insight, as well.

BPDERS: If you're looking through threads and the title clearly sounds like something about relationships and Nons that you KNOW is going to trigger you, don't read the thread. Use good judgement. Yes, this is first and foremost your board, and I am working to figure out a better way to facillitate the Nons and their threads, but there is a difference between a badly named thread and intentionally going into a thread you know is going to trigger so that you can tell the Non not to post here. It's not only bad for your own mental health, to seek out triggers that way, but rude to the Non. If you stumble on a badly marked and titled thread, yes, please tell me. I want to help and take care of it.

So often I have read here how the we BPDers wish our Nons would understand us. The Nons here are trying to understand. The Non you spurn could have been your own. There's no difference.

Until we (the mods and admins) figure out exactly what is going to happen with the board, you're all just going to have to play nice, like you have been doing until rather recently. Yes, tensions are high, but this is how things are for now.
We are working for you, never doubt that, but things change takes time.

-SmileXx (My inbox is always open if you have questions or concerns.)

Dear All

Obviously there is an easy situation if ppl with BPD post in their own threads, and Nons post in their own. However this does not look like it is happening and whilst you are sharing a forum please respect each other and remember you are all people trying to get along in the world. As much as you can, be kind to each other. Please feel free to contact me if you have questions or comments.

Cracked

From my limited time on here, it seems you guys/gals are doing a fantastic job of moderating. This is the best forum I've found yet. Its a difficult situation to group Nons and Non Nons together. Social history tells us that segregating groups of individuals leads to inequality, discrimination, and fuels the hatred between them. So i get that we don't want to throw the Non's out.

On the other hand, while rationally it makes since that tagging a post as triggering or not should be the solution to those who want to avoid being triggered, I think it underestimates the human want to push the red button, even if there is a sign that says "do not push the red button." Us people with BPD, with our impulse control issues, have even more difficult time not pressing that red button. That's not to say that the tags aren't useful as they present us with a choice, however illusory that choice is, that give us the feeling of control.

I'm not sure there is a solution to solve all this, other than more of the same, with moderators working in the grey to referee, and perhaps a bias that ever so slightly favors the pwBPD, without making the Non feel unwelcome.

You're responsible for your own mental health.

If you're intentionally seeking out ways to trigger yourself and doing nothing to avoid it, that's you doing that. People have more control than they would like to admit.

This is the only solution we have for right now and it will have to do.
I cannot control who is doing what, but I am doing my best to accommodate.

No one is intentionally seeking ways to trigger themselves, Thats offensive.

Furthermore, if this is how your characterizing whats going on, that is part of the problem right there.

I didn't mean to offend. Let me attempt to explain.

I'm BPD.
I get the entire urge to press the red button scenario, laid out by you...
I'm also aware that in heightened states of distress, it can get terribly hard to not seek out other things in order to feed the rage or sadness, etc. More red button behavior. That's all I meant.

Confrontations happen, but there has been some serious turmoil in here.
All I'm asking is for everyone to play nice and use good judgement.

oh wth I blame it on my paranoia I had not read this thread: borderline-personality/topic76627-10.html so I misintepreted this again as some complot against me

I assure you that no one is plotting against you.
We are just trying to make it as pleasant as we can here until a better resolution can be found.
There are complaints on both sides.

ok, that's great to hear!
is there a new sub forum for husbands/wifes with bpd partners in the planning or something?

We aren't sure, at this exact moment, what may be able to be done.
We are trying to find some better way of managing the PD forums.
This isn't the only forum that has Non & PDer issues. It's a pretty cross-the-board issue.

I simply ask that you all be patient, in the meantime.