Best ways to live with a pwBPD

Cheating on someone isnt a symptom of BPD or a reason to do it. . it called being a a-hole.
Best ways to live wth a BPD person is to learn about it so you can learn the behavior and moods. Let them know if their not doing good, they may not notice it themselves. If you dont want to work to hard in the relatiionship find a normal person. my ex had ptsd and BP, hard to keep working at it when i had my own MI issues.

bpd or not, everyone is different. treat others like how you want others to treat you. some people are ok with swapping partners, some people dont like to discuss their partners, some people send their kids to hostel, others believe in homeschooling them.

everyone is different.

what is it about your partner(who has bpd) that poses as a challenge before you...

jaus tail wrote:treat others like how you want others to treat you.

My motto.
Too bad it doesn't always work.

GoddessN wrote:What are the best ways to live with a partner who has BPD.

And if we find our partner has cheated on us, should we immiediately leave or we should stay a little longer because the partner did it because of BPD?

Depends on age imo....
It Take many years for certain issues to be sorted. If partner is young, you may have years of a rocky road ahead. Unfortunately many ipeople w bpd only realise in later years how many potentially great r'ships they sabotaged.
It is about timing imo.
My friend in her late 40's is in a rship w a guy who is in his early 30's and aparently has bpd. If he was older and more emotionally mature and had worked through some of his issues I would advise her to stick with it....but with this age gap I think there is just a path of pain ahead for her, and he will betray her for someone younger...
But thats just my guess...

Educate, read, learn and talk WITH your partner daily! Be there as a rock, strong, consistent and as a person to rely on.
Doesn’t guarantee success, no relationship does
If it was for me, my more that 3 decades together would have been till the end of the road.

GoddessN wrote:What are the best ways to live with a partner who has BPD.

I don't think there is a single answer to that question. It would depend on the individual and just because they fit the BPD category best, doesn't necessarily mean they would respond in the same way as the next person with BPD. All I could suggest would be to learn more about it generally, but also try to discuss (if they are willing) what it is like for the partner.

GoddessN wrote:And if we find our partner has cheated on us, should we immiediately leave or we should stay a little longer because the partner did it because of BPD?

I don't think it's ok to use BPD as an excuse for behaviour that is hurtful or unacceptable to the other person. If the person had no awareness of their problems at all, someone on the outside might be able to say it's related to BPD. But if they cheated, were caught out, then said "it's not my fault, it's my BPD" then I feel like that is just using MI as an excuse for doing something hurtful. Not everyone with BPD cheats. Yes some do, but not all.

My advice to partners would always be that they have to decide what is best for themselves. If cheating is unacceptable to you as a partner in the relationship, then it is unacceptable. If you can forgive it once because you know they have issues with this, then work at that. Others might be ok with more open relationships. I guess my answer would be to work out where your limits are and stick to them. Much easier said than done sometimes though.