A message of hope to my borderline brothers and sisters

Hello all,

I wanted to write a positive message that, I sincerely hope, will inspire those of you who are in pain, in some small way, to make your lives better. I'd like to give you a brief history of my own troubles, and then list some of the pieces of wisdom I've acquired over the years, from my own life experience. I'm no expert, but I'm sure I've been through some of the same stuff you guys have been through.

Me: Male borderline + Bipolar 2, 30 yrs old ... single, no social life, no friends. Suicidal since age of 13. Have tried numerous therapists/programs, with no luck.

Some stuff I've learned in my life, especially in the last couple of years, that I sincerely hope you will be able to relate to and perhaps apply to your own lives:

- Pick your battles: We borderlines go through a lot of mental anguish, pretty much every waking minute and even in our sleep (dreams/nightmares) ! If we can try to limit the number of battles we fight daily (surrendering at times), we can reduce our overall stress/anxiety level significantly. For example, if your boss yells at you about something really minor, ask yourself if getting back at him/her is really worth it for you. Chances are, it's not.

- Don't try to change people (especially Nons): People are often set in their ways, and we should not expect miracles. This is especially important in the context of romantic relationships. If you're with someone who's an alcoholic, and you hate it but want to change him/her, chances are, you won't be able to change that person, although it would be nice to, because that person has some really good attributes. Expecting a hardcore alcoholic to change may be futile and set you up for devastating disappointment.

- Find a hobby(ies) and stay occupied: They say that the idle mind is the devil's workshop, and I find it to be true. Fitness has been my personal savior, and it has enormous benefits to both body and mind. Maybe you're really passionate about art. Go sit at a beach and sketch a sunset !

- Find meaning in life: What are you passionate about ... beyond your hobbies and interests ? What touches your soul deep inside ? Perhaps you like to volunteer and help people or animals. Maybe you can join a search and rescue force, or maybe you can teach adult literacy courses based on your expertise. I think that most depression comes from the fact that we perceive that there is nothing to look forward to. If you find something you love doing and can keep you occupied and satisfied, that is a big step forward, because there will always be something to look forward to ! Volunteering has the added benefit that you will meet people like you there !

- Discover your own true wealth: Big cliche, but this is really necessary for us to bloom and realize our full potential. Take a step back from your painful life, and recognize what you have to offer the world, focusing on your positive qualities rather than the negative. YOU ARE IMPORTANT !

So, my friends, I sincerely hope that some of what I've learned through my hellish journey will help some of you and motivate you to introduce some changes into your life.

God bless you all,
- The Lilodian

Thank you for this! It is so well thought out and uplifting. The time you spent not only putting this together but also dealing with your dx's is an amazing feat. Very inspirational indeed.

BleedingHart wrote:Thank you for this! It is so well thought out and uplifting. The time you spent not only putting this together but also dealing with your dx's is an amazing feat. Very inspirational indeed.

Thanks, BleedingHart ! You're welcome. I'm glad that at least, you found it uplifting

I also found this beautiful and it is extremely helpful. What you mentioned, in particular, about staying busy and doing what brings you happiness is how I overcome my triggers/emotional issues. I can't begin to tell you how excellent that advice is.

Thank you for sharing, it is much appreciated.

AngelTears wrote:I also found this beautiful and it is extremely helpful. What you mentioned, in particular, about staying busy and doing what brings you happiness is how I overcome my triggers/emotional issues. I can't begin to tell you how excellent that advice is.

Thank you for sharing, it is much appreciated.

Thanks You're very welcome !

Thanks for the thoughtful, uplifting post dude - good on you