Text messaging BPD style.

Someone doesn't reply to a message. If I'M busy... who cares? If I'm not distracted enough to focus on the fact they haven't replied......
Gemma: 'Hey x'
................
why hasn't he text back? why is he ignoring me? doesn't he like me? why doesn't he like me? what's wrong with me? i've annoyed him by messaging him... i'm such an idiot... why would he want to talk to me? i'm not worth his time...
but hang on i AM worth his time... aren't I? But obviously not if he won't reply... omg he hates me... what if he doesn't want to talk to me any more *checks phone... message sent 2 mins ago* omg two minutes... *checks phone* ... the last time he only took one minute to reply... why isn't he texting me???
Urgh i'm so angry that he's not texting me... is he being an idiot on purpose? oh... I really like this song... urgh it reminds me of him because of that one lyric that seems to be appropriate right now due to my anger at him abandoning me like this.
I can't believe he's being such a d*ck. ARRRGGGHHH........
*checks phone* message sent 2 mins ago... dafuq?
hold on i'm being daft... he could be at work, on the loo, in the shower, driving, or with another girl....
yeah he could be with another girl because why would he want me? she's going to be so much better than me, she's going to be pretty, and smart, and skinny, and nice, and normal. Of course he's with another girl, and she's so much better than me. He doesn't want me and who would blame him I'm worthless... but no... he's probably busy....
*distract myself by going online*
*beep beep* T-mobile..... EFF OFF T-MOBILE!!!!!!!!
Why hasn't he replied? If he was driving he would stop to reply if he cared about me?
If he's at work he still has bluetooth he could have the message read out and then speak to reply...
He wouldn't be on the loo this long, it's got to have been 20 minutes now...
*checks phone*
message sent 3 minutes ago....
But I take MY phone to the loo with me so surely he would too?
Argh! What an idiot, he's such a @#&$^, he doesn't care about me at all. Clearly I should have realised that the other day when he 'Joked' about me being stupid, he said he was joking, I should have taken the hint, he was clearly trying to tell me that i'm not good enough for him, I've made myself look like such a moron I should just take the hint...
Or maybe he just doesn't know that I've messaged... I should text again so he might hear his phone go off and see the other message and then reply...
Gemma: 'You there?' ...
There he's bound to reply now.............
Why hasn't he replied? God I've made myself look like a right stalker by messaging again... omg i'm going to lose him, I need to explain now that i'm not a psycho....
*rings* no answer....
Omg what if he crashed his van? what if he's in a ditch somewhere?
Gemma: 'you ok?'
As if he's going to read a message if he's in a ditch!
*rings* no answer....
Omg he's not replied or answered he's sick of me, he's never going to talk to me again, don't know why he liked me in the first place though....
*beep beep*

TheGuy: 'Hey sorry was doing something in the garden for mum. You ok babe? xx'

he replied!!!! I'm so happy I adore him he's perfect look how kind he is doing things for his mum... he asked me how I am... he really does care about me... how could I ever think he would cheat on me? He's so lovely!!!

Gemma: 'Aw that's nice babe, I'm good thanks how are you? xx'

2minutes later...

Why hasn't he replied? .............

that happens to me..

and a lot too.

and it's with people i supposedly trust a lot as well.

distraction (like coming here) helps.. other than that, i still have difficulties coping still, lol.

That was SO funny to read.
So crazy.
But also so true.

Trust...
This doesnt happen too often to me. But when I care about someone, it does. Then there should be trust too. Should be.
Is it partly them too, or just me. Is the question.

Kiskiskis wrote:Trust...
This doesnt happen too often to me. But when I care about someone, it does. Then there should be trust too. Should be.
Is it partly them too, or just me. Is the question.

To me the issue isn't really trust. In the above mentioned txt situation, it is because I'm bored/upset/whatever and hope that the person I'm txting has the time to keep me occupied/lift my spirits up/etc. And then... I wind myself up, not because I don't trust that person, but because I am just curious what could keep her/him from replying. I like mystery, figuring stuff out, which in this situation backfires and causes me to come up with ridiculous ideas.

I just find that it's like an unbearable itch.
In regards to the trust thing... there should always be trust, but I find it impossible to do so, simply because saying something (to me) insensitive, or not doing something that has been agreed to, or turning up late etc etc etc is them breaking my trust.
I start off well but then as soon as I (very quickly) fall for someone, I put them on a pedestal. I revolve around them only. If anyone else doesn't reply I couldn't care less, but this person I care about... different story.
I've not had a chance to put much CBT into play yet, and i'm still identifying my triggers etc. I'll get there
(Clearly having a positive hour! haha..)

-- Sat Jan 04, 2014 11:31 pm --

Although I seem to have found an outlet as I haven't text afore mentioned man today. ALL DAY. I started to get stressed over the fact he hadn't messaged me... so I posted this... and it got all of the 'panic' out of me.
Looks like I may well be a regular!

EKO wrote:To me the issue isn't really trust. In the above mentioned txt situation, it is because I'm bored/upset/whatever and hope that the person I'm txting has the time to keep me occupied/lift my spirits up/etc. And then... I wind myself up, not because I don't trust that person, but because I am just curious what could keep her/him from replying. I like mystery, figuring stuff out, which in this situation backfires and causes me to come up with ridiculous ideas.

Recently I have limited my problems to a few relevant things, such as
trust, responsibility, and poor self-image.

That sounds a bit like moving responsibility to another, seeking drama and excitement.
Assurance of existence, so to speak

https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/ ... 1742_n.jpg

I read that knowing what the next line would be! That is me

Lol! Yep pretty much how it goes. You gotta love it the intensity the adoration....